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Archive for the Dead Category

2008

01

Jul

RIP MOTHERFUCKER the Ruslana Korshunova Edition

So this may be old news, Supermodel Ruslana Korshunova killed herself by jumping off the 9th floor of her Manhatten apartment yesterday afternoon. They say that it could have something to do with the Russian mob because they are fucking crazy, but it is most likely a suicide from a broken heart. Every Russian that I have ever met has always been a little off, I always blamed communism and the everyman is the working class, with rationed bread, poor living conditions, state issued clothes that everyone wore, like being raised in some kind of prison, but I never went to Russia and it was all speculation. They always seemed willing to hurt other people, but never themselves.

Now I don’t know this chick, but she was fucking successful and maybe she was taken away from her family too young, or maybe she couldn’t adapt to going from a life in hell and poverty to a life of Glizt and Glamor, while all she really anted was her her mother’s home cooked Borshch, but put up with the day to day shit of being a model to not let her family who she was sending her money back home to. Maybe it was drugs or too much pressure on herself or maybe it was a broken heart. But Russians are known to strong and to have no emotions are are too busy getting the job done, training for olympic sports, modeling or doing eveything in their power to get the fuck out of Russia like becoming mail order brides and you’d think that Ruslana was living the dream, but I guess sometimes the only way to stop the demons in your head or your unhappiness is off yourself. Suicide is for pussies, and it’s pretty fuckin’ sad especially when it’s a a beautiful successful girl who had her life ahead of her, and the cast of The Hills or some fat chick who is sad because no one really cares about, because the world has enough fat chicks and can do with one less.

Either way, I feel like I have lost one of my own, not because I am a model, but because I like to masturbate to picture of models. Ruslana Korhunova, RIP Motherfucker.

Geraldo stayed classy by airing footage of her dead body because dude will do anything to get people watching his shit:

Posted in:Dead|RIP Motherfucker|Ruslana Korshunova

2008

01

Jul

Mental Patient Died in an Psych Ward due to Negligence of the Day

As the most incompetent person at everything I set my mind out to do, I can say that I have never been directly responsible for someone’s death in my incompetent ways. Truth is that I didn’t really have a job that would really put anyone’s life at risk, I mean other than being a Valet at a shitty hotel for about 3 days, before getting fired for being too slow, but other than that the only life at any risk was my own for operating machinery when completely wasted on the job or falling asleep, not showing up, and pretty much sucking at everything I put my mind out to do.

I saw this video of a mental ward waiting room and it pretty much blew me away, because 2 security guards, a doctor and a nurse all walked in and out on a dying bitch and did nothing about it because I guess they aren’t paid enough to actually give a shit. I was always under the impression that being in a hospital was the best place to be in the event something went wrong. I would remember I’d get severe panic attacks when in hospitals visiting dying friends because disease scares me and was confident they’d defibrillate or jack my lifeless body up with meds in the event that I was to go down, but then again, I don’t live in the US where poor people are prisoners to a flawed system designed for the rich. That is probably the reason why Magic Johnson is still alive with HIV and every whore I know from the 90s in New York that I used to spend time with and who got the germ are dead. That’s pretty much why I am up in Canada, not because I like it here but because it works for ghetto folk like myself.

Posted in:Dead|Mental Patient

2008

24

Jun

Alyssa Milano Hot Naked Video The Way We Like Her…of the Day

Here’s a video of Alyssa Milano Naked in some recent movie called Pathology. Her nude scene is her dead and getting cut open in some sort of autopsy and it’s pretty fucking sick but you can still see pussy. I assume that some of you are fucked up enough to find this hot as you spent most of your childhood killing your neighborhood cats and other random animals that would cross paths with you and you haven’t quite moved onto bigger things yet, because you aren’t that much of a psycho and you just leave the psychotic thoughts for your masturbation.

I was talking to my friend the other day and he told me about how he plays a game called “Would You” with his friends. It’s basically where different scenarios are laid out and you decide whether you’d d fuck the chick or not. One of the weirder ones was if you’re driving down an old dirt road in the middle of nowhere and you come across a passed out 18 year old hot girl in a mini skirt is lying on the side road like she had been hit by a car or something and you pull over to help her, do you bang her or do you call or help or do you bang her then call for help. I guess fucking a passed out chick is a lot less disgusting than fucking a dead chick, most of the chicks I’ve banged were passed out by by booze or drugs and not by getting hit by a car, so I wouldn’t do it and I’d get her help, but I bet you’re not as wholesome as me you horny fuckin’ creep.

Posted in:Alyssa Milano|Dead|Naked

2008

23

Jun

RIP Motherfucker, The George Carlin Edition of the Day

I don’t know much about George Carlin or his comedy but I do know people think he’s some kind of legend and I am sure it goes without saying that he is substantially funnier than me, at least he was until today because now he’s dead. RIP, Motherfucker.

Posted in:Dead|George Carlin

2008

23

Jan

Heath Ledger’s Body Being Taken Out of His Apartment of the Day

You’ve probably all heard the updates on this story. Ledger didn’t die of the AIDS he got on the set of Brokeback Mountain and he didn’t kill himself because he couldn’t live with himself for having had sex with Lohan or because of his ex Michelle Williams who got knocked up by him and locked him down by keeping the baby. He died by accidentally taking too many over the counter sleeping pills and it was rumored to have happened in Mary Kate Olsen’s New York apartment, but that was later proven to be a lie.

I don’t know why I am putting up the pictures of the body being taken out because it’s pretty fucking depressing to look at and almost as morbid as you can get, but let’s just hope dude staged this death like he was Elvis and is moving to that mystical island celebrities who “die” prematurely go to so that he can finally live his dream of producing a Biggy and Tupac album with Andy Kaufman or some shit.

Even though lots of people die before they turn 28, shit’s still too young and it’s too bad that Hollywood drags these kids through the mud forcing them to live these lives of drug and alcohol fueled excess, but we all know if any of us were in their situations, with their level of disposable income and free time, we probably would have died a long fucking time ago. That said, here’s one more Rest in Peace Mate.

That said, I don’t judge and know pretty much nothing about this dude, I just think the whole things too bad and to celebrate dude’s life, I am going go watch some Kangaroo mating videos, but between you and me, I was planning on doing that anyway.

Here are some pictures of Lohan wearing her black tights and showing how sad she is that her ex fling died by hanging out with some new cock…..I guess it’s one of those “to get over someone you get under someone else” situations…but then again getting under someone else is kinda Lohan’s life story…..Let’s expect this emotional time to be the excuse Lohan’s been waiting for to go back to the bottle because she’s already milked her parent’s divorce as much as she’s milked every cock she’s come across.

Update – Fine, I take it back, here’s Lohan sad on the phone since Ledger died or she’s on the phone with her agent and he just told her to act sad because it’s good for business or she just found out she spent all her money and can’t afford designer leggings or she just realized that all the herpes rumors are true or she just realized that she has a yeast infection and can’t fuck for a week or…I don’t fuckin’ know….she look sad.


Related Posts:

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Posted in:Dead|Heath Ledger|Unsorted

2008

22

Jan

Heath Ledger “The Joker” Found Dead of the Day

I just heard that Heath Ledger was found dead in his apartment in NYC today at 3 pm today. I figured that I’d post an RIP because that shit is fucked. They aren’t releasing any information in how he died, but I am guessing it is all Michelle Williams’ fault for filing divorce with him or Lohan’s fault for giving herpes that could have lead to a drug overdose or suicide and I keep wanting to make a joke about him getting AIDS in Brokeback Mountain, but this dude’s got a two year old daughter and now she’ll be growing up without a daddy and that shit is not worth laughing about, so unfortunately this cowboy has taken the final ride into the sunset, but you’re still alive so enjoy it.


Read the Article that Says He Had a Drug Overdose
GO

Posted in:Dead|Heath Ledger

2008

15

Jan

Brad Renfro is Dead of the Day

Known Heroin addict and child star Brad Renfro was found dead in his home at 9 am this morning by his girlfriend. I guess the real issue is who the fuck is showing up at anyone’s house at 9 in the fucking morning I think there are rules against that shit.

Either way, he was in Bully and a few other movies like The Client and Apt Pupil and now his next role is going to be 6 feet under….

Self Destruction is a sad thing, but when self destruction actually works and the motherfucker dies, I have little sympathy. If he was found dead because of cancer or AIDS or a heart defect or a car accident or foul play or some shit, I’d be a little nicer, but this selfish heroin bullshit is just drawn out suicide that isn’t fair to the people who actually love the motherfucker…That said, the cause of death is unknown….and it’s probably bad luck if I don’t say Rest in Peace Motherfucker.

Read the Article
GO

Posted in:Brad Renfro|Dead|Unsorted

2007

12

Dec

I am – RIP Ike Turner of the Day

spot-ike-turner.jpg

So in the wake off all the lesbian haters who have started coming to the site and emailing me rude man hating comments, this post is for you. You’ll be happy to know that an innovator in the wife-beating movement has passed away today. It took a while for it to happen, but now you’ve got what you prayed for, murderer.

For the rest of us, Ike Turner, a man who knew a woman’s place in the world has sadly passed away. We’ve lost a man who could really push the envelop and cultivate a woman’s talent and sexuality to lure in international success. He made himself rich while keeping her in-line, because let’s face it, without Ike to police her behavior, there’d be no Tina Turner.

You all may be blinded by the over-glamorized version of their story from the Hollywood version, but none of us know what really went on, or what Tina did to deserve what she got, what we do know is that it was probably worth taking, because look at her now. Without Ike, there’d never be a movie about them, she’d never be one of the biggest acts in show biz, she’d probably be singing in the local piano bar for free 2 nights a week, while showing off those legs while serving plates at the local diner.

What it comes down to, is that if he was such a bad guy, and if Tina actually hated the motherfucker for being such a bad guy, and if she didn’t feel she owed her life and career to him, would she still use his last name…..so you can all hate, but me and Tina know what’s up. You’re just blinded by your lesbian feminist women studies bullshit. Cuddles.

Rest in Peace, Motherfucker.


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Posted in:Dead|Ike Turner|Unsorted

2007

30

Nov

I am – Evel Knieval’s Murderer of the Day

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I just found out that Evel Knieval died today. The reason I am posting it is because I think I was involved in it somehow because I made a Knieval joke yesterday to a group of 18 year old girls and I don’t really remember how it went, but they had no idea who he was so it didn’t really work as a joke.. When I told them he was a daredevil who was big in the 70s, they were just like “the 70s!?! Is he dead yet” and I said probably.

I know that assuming I have that kind of power is a little insane, but it makes me feel like I’ve got a purpose and it’s a weird coincidence because Evel Knieval doesn’t really enter my thoughts that often. So R.I.P. Evel. I didn’t mean to kill you and if I remembered my Knieval joke from yesterday to pay my final respects, I’d write it now but I don’t, because I am hungover but I’m sure you won’t mind, since you’re dead.

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Read about it HERE


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Posted in:Dead|Evel Knieval|Unsorted