DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

22

Mar

I am – Emily Scott's Tits of the Day

I wasn’t in the mood to post because the Kim Kardashian shit was getting linked all over the place and figured there was no point. I decided to spend my day looking at the wall on the couch without the computer, because sometimes my wall is more exciting than some of the shit I am forced to look at on here.

I ended up talking to some 18 year old whore from Maine who likes being treated like a slut. I didn’t know what to ask her to send me pictures of so I just went with insertion pics. When she asked me what I wanted her to insert I couldn’t think of anything so I just said an old shoe. I have a feeling she’s not going to pull through but it all makes me feel perverted.

Not nearly as perverted as trying to find the latest in topless/naked/nip slips every fucking day. No matter what I do, I will always be like that weird kid in highschool who always got caught jerking off between classes. You know the socially awkward weirdo who read comics and smelled like cum…Anyway, there’s nothing I can do to tell you that I am not that guy, that bitches everywhere want my dick but this website proves otherwise. Maybe I am just as bad as you.

That said, here are some pics of Emily Scott, some bitch dubbed the hottest bitch in Australia showin’ off her bitch tits like bitches are supposed to, bitch.

Posted in:Emily Scott|Unsorted

2007

22

Mar

I am – Day Dreamin’ of a Girl in One Shoe of the Day

8 Comments »

I haven’t been able to update the site because I was lazy last night and the Kim Kardashian shit too too fucking long to do that I wanted nothing to do with the computer. I thought it was going to be a huge day for traffic and went to bed thinking I was a fucking star. I was also drunk because with big posts come big drinks…but after checking my traffic it’s lower than it was yesterday. I blame you, but for some reason the videos destroyed the site I was hosting them on and had to scramble to find a new site to work with….

I then checked my email to find 5 Cease and Desists from a paparazzi company called Flynet. They were emailing my host, which makes me nervous because I don’t want them to shut me down, because I wouldn’t know what else to do with my day and either would you, because you are a loser.

I wrote this to the Flynet greedy, sleazy fuck who’s been emailing my server company instead of me.

Contact me with future DMCA’s – I don’t like involving my server host and I am always willing to take down the pictures even if I morally have no issue posting pictures that you morally had no issue invading privacy to get…Asshole.

I think I am going to go on a Bringing Down the Paparazzi Quest…I am feeling hungover and stressed and need a drink, but instead I drift into a day dream of a girl with one shoe, I guess the joke of all this is my typo in the video title that there is no way I am going in to fix because I am lazy enough as is. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

22

Mar

I am – Day Dreamin' of a Girl in One Shoe of the Day

No Comments »

I haven’t been able to update the site because I was lazy last night and the Kim Kardashian shit too too fucking long to do that I wanted nothing to do with the computer. I thought it was going to be a huge day for traffic and went to bed thinking I was a fucking star. I was also drunk because with big posts come big drinks…but after checking my traffic it’s lower than it was yesterday. I blame you, but for some reason the videos destroyed the site I was hosting them on and had to scramble to find a new site to work with….

I then checked my email to find 5 Cease and Desists from a paparazzi company called Flynet. They were emailing my host, which makes me nervous because I don’t want them to shut me down, because I wouldn’t know what else to do with my day and either would you, because you are a loser.

I wrote this to the Flynet greedy, sleazy fuck who’s been emailing my server company instead of me.

Contact me with future DMCA’s – I don’t like involving my server host and I am always willing to take down the pictures even if I morally have no issue posting pictures that you morally had no issue invading privacy to get…Asshole.

I think I am going to go on a Bringing Down the Paparazzi Quest…I am feeling hungover and stressed and need a drink, but instead I drift into a day dream of a girl with one shoe, I guess the joke of all this is my typo in the video title that there is no way I am going in to fix because I am lazy enough as is. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

21

Mar

I am – Kim Kardashian Sex Tape of the Day

261 Comments »

So it finally dropped and one of you sent it my way. I would do a film review for you, but figured it’d be easier to talk about it after you’ve seen it. So I am posting pretty much the whole thing here for you right now.

I am more impressed with the size of Ray J’s cock than Kim Kardashian’s Paris impersonation, but I guess all semi famous rich pussy is worth a round…She’s living large, probably the reason she needs big dick and she’s not using condoms, probably the reason she’s had 10 abortions. She’s pretty much doin’ what she’s supposed to be doing and not letting her massive tits go to waste…

The celebrity sex tape novelty is getting dull and I really only watched it all in fast forward because I am not into nature channel porn. That wasn’t meant to be as racist as it sounded but I am not about to censor myself to satisfy my 2 black readers.

I admit that I have never banged a black girl and maybe if I had, I’d have a different opinion, but the opportunity never came up and my penis would be way to small to satisfy her black vagina needs.

I know Kim Kardashian sucks dick, and now you have the proof. This shit is totally staged and I can’t believe she’s got so little self-respect that she’d basically film a porn…there’s no difference between her and the stripper who turns tricks at my favorite strip club in the back room for $50, if you give her $25 more she let’s you take pics. One day when I get to the top, I’ll hire her and prove it to you…

I remain the best blog that isn’t read on the internet of all time. Cuddles…

Kim Kardashian Sex Tape ScreenShots and Previews
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Another place for all your Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Needs
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Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Unsorted

2007

21

Mar

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s the kind of emails I get because my site is so fucking classy….

Dear drunkenstepfather.com,

I’m emailing you today to request a link exchange between our website and yours.
I found your website http://www.drunkenstepfather.com by searching Google for “Genital Warts”. I think our
websites have a similar theme to your’s, so I am interested in exchanging links.

I was wondering if you would like to trade links with my Genital Warts Website.

If interested please send me the Title, URL and Description of your website or the HTML
code, so that I can put them on my website of same category and in return you will provide
link from Your website .

Now Click My Links…

Some Slutty Movies
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Marisa Tomei Panty Upskirt
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Naughty School Girl Cam Show
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Some Chick Jumps Off an 85 Foot Cliff and Dies VIdeo
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Christina Aguilera Looking Fucking Hot of the Day
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Busty Blonde Video
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My Fair Brady/America’s Next Top Model Lookin’ Hot in Playboy Pictures
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Shooting a Friend For Fun
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FleshFlicks – Some Slut Named Aylar Lie
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Scarlett Johansson’s Side Cleavage Video
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Keely Hazell in Zoo Magazine Lookin’ Hot
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Fat Ass Booty Shakin’
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This Video is Called The Perfect Girlfriend
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New Hollywood Sluts
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Jojo Likes Topless Men
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Hot for Student Video
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Gisele’s Tits Lookin’ Amazing
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Anna Kournikova is Dressed in Green
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Jenna Jameson Lookin’ Skinny With Big Tits
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Queen Latifa in a Bathing Suit
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Lohan’s Mom Talkin About Lohan
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The Olsen Twins Shopping
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Nicole Richie Lookin Hot and Hypoglycemic
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Heidi Klum in Public
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Joe Francis is Not Gay
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Sexy Mizuki Video
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Hot Tits, Sheer Dress, Big Hair
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Some Sexy Music Videos For You
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Adam Sandle Hosts Letterman
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Pete Doherty Babysits Her Kids
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Hot Spandex Pants
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Bra Commercial
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Hot Alley Baggett Pics
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Aria Giovanni in a Pool
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Slut Named Eugenia Silva
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Jenna Fischer Has a Nice Rack
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Two Babes:
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Some Wax on Radio Garbage
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Hot Bunny
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This Kitten Gets More Play Than You
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Paris Hilton Shopping Along
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Christina Aguilera Pussycat Doll’s Clip
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Site To Visit Of The Day
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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You are a Loser You Need Sex This Will Help
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

21

Mar

I am – Lohan in GQ of the Day

86 Comments »

Lohan is my kind of girl. She’s up on cool shit like smoking opium and hipsters and she just doesn’t give a fuck about pretty much anything. She fucks with the media, she goes to rehab only to come out of rehab and continue what she is doing, while pretending that she’s not doing it because she’s a fucking actor. Here she is in GQ from a Terry Richardson photo shoot.

Terry Richardson is the kind of guy I thought I liked because he took raw, sexual, drugged out pictures of people. I stole his book Terry World and thought he was authentic. When I found out that he was the Vice photographer, I lost all respect for him, because Vice is the biggest lie around, pretending to be core while being owned by Viacom and everything they do is for the advertiser…Maybe I am bitter because they never ran my how to fuck a hooker for free article.

Anyway, point being whether Terry Richardson is real, authentic or an artist or hack, it’s pretty clear he’s a cunt, but the kind of cunt who gets Lohan lookin’ slutty and a slutty Lohan is the Lohan I want to marry. Herpes and All…I am not just saying that Lohan has herpes to be a funny celebrity blogger, I am saying it because I overheard a Paris Hilton coversation one night when a friend of mine called her, outting Lohan for not telling people she has herpes. I wrote about it, but since no one reads the site, I guess no one noticed. Assholes.

Bonus – Some Old Nipple Slip

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

21

Mar

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape is Out and I Don’t Have It of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian at Fashion Week in L.A. I am posting this because I am dying to see her sex tape. I have emailed Vivid about 400 fucking times and I am not internet savvy enough to know where to find this kind of shit. I figure some chronic masturbating loser somewhere is uploading it as we speak, but I just don’t know how to find it because the only chronic masturbating loser I know is you, and you’re way too fucking useless to know how to do anything, especially something as important to my life as the Kim Kardashian Sex Tape. Asshole.

I don’t know who is in these pics with her, but I can only assume that is Jennifer Aniston, grabbing her tits and looking wasted, the way I like it.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Unsorted

2007

21

Mar

I am – Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape is Out and I Don't Have It of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian at Fashion Week in L.A. I am posting this because I am dying to see her sex tape. I have emailed Vivid about 400 fucking times and I am not internet savvy enough to know where to find this kind of shit. I figure some chronic masturbating loser somewhere is uploading it as we speak, but I just don’t know how to find it because the only chronic masturbating loser I know is you, and you’re way too fucking useless to know how to do anything, especially something as important to my life as the Kim Kardashian Sex Tape. Asshole.

I don’t know who is in these pics with her, but I can only assume that is Jennifer Aniston, grabbing her tits and looking wasted, the way I like it.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Unsorted

2007

21

Mar

I am – Brooke Hogan Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pics of Brooke Hogan lookin’ like her dad in a bikini from a couple days ago in Florida. I never understood why Jersey was labeled the trashcan of the country, after visiting Florida years ago, it reminded me of a trailer park strip club, but I guess that doesn’t matter.

I was walking by a store window yesterday and the Hogan show was on TV. Hulk was trying to teach his kids responsibility by making them get a job. I stopped watching because there was no sound and because some crackhead I didn’t know hassling me for money but I did see her on all four cleaning a toilet.

It reminding me of a friend I once had you made his girlfriend drink toilet water like she was a dog before getting in bed with him, he would just sit there jerking off while she did it and I never really understood the fetish. I never really do understand the fetish, but I do know that he didn’t really have a hard time finding girls ready and willing and he didn’t even have to pay them. While watching Brooke with her hand in the toilet, I knew she woulda been into it…that slut.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Unsorted

2007

21

Mar

I am – Miss Virginie from FHM France Does a Porn of the Day

13 Comments »

Her name is Miss Virginie and she is an FHM girl who either did a porn in her past or since her FHM fame, but I guess when it was done doesn’t really matter because we are looking at her getting stuffed like a turkey either way….

I had a video of Scarlett Johannson acting like she was having an orgasm but I couldn’t figure out how to upload it because it was some file I had never heard of and it further proves that I have no business running a website. I keep on writing about nothing and 10 -15 people keep reading but I think my content’s getting pretty fucking dull. I have been doing this for 2.5 years and I only have so many fucking stories that I can remember, maybe I have writers block or I had a stroke, but I was out walking around all day and remember thinking about a few things to write about and I can’t fucking remember what it was. So watch the video while I re-group with some booze and thoughts of all the dirty french whores that live near me and who aren’t making these kinds of movies for me. Cuddles.

Check her out on FHM
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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted