DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

09

Apr

I am – Amanda Bynes is 21 of the Day

I am all about underage girls and now Amanda Bynes is no longer one. I used to like to go to clubs and spot the underage chicks, buy them a lot of drinks because they can’t handle their alcohol and take them home with me while they experienced the drunkest drunk they ever felt in their inexperienced drinking career, where I’d proceed to romance them by peeing on them while they slept. The police were only called a few times and I only had a few knocks on my door and when questioned I would tell them that I met her in the club, and didn’t realize that it was my job to card them before peeing on their drunk faces. I’d pass the blame on the bar and poor parenting, because what kind of parent lets their underage kids go out drinking, other than Lohan’s mom, who isn’t really a mom, but more of a Madame at a brothel trying to make her cut, where the parent’s I had to deal with were genuinely concerned with out of control daughters, but the point of all this is to say that Amanda Bynes has been out of statutory rape days for a few years, but still reminds me of my golden years.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Unsorted

2007

09

Apr

I am – Adriana Lima is a Model of the Day

2 Comments »

I am not a model scout and if I saw Adriana Lima on the street I probably wouldn’t have given her the time of day, but then again, if I was scouting girls it’d be for dirty modeling, and from my experience, I would hire any girl willing to do my movies because finding someone willing to do double anal is hard, so I take what I can get. Unfortunately for the girls I have no budget to pay them but they only realize I ripped them off a couple of days later when they wake up in a field outside of the city with a GHB hangover. I guess the reality is that I don’t know any girls, I don’t do any dirty movies, I don’t leave girls in fields after drugging them, but there wouldn’t have been much of a post if I didn’t pretend that I did. Adriana Lima is probably one of the hottest girls out there, and even if she looks like an immigrant with a flat ass in her everyday clothes, we all know what she is capable of and it’s pretty much a taste of heaven.

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Unsorted

2007

07

Apr

I am – Victoria Silvstedt Changing Bikini Birthday Wish of the Day

No Comments »

Today is my birthday and what better way to celebrate my birthday than to post pictures of Victoria Silvstedt in a bikini on the beach especially after getting sued by her personally for posting pictures of the slut getting eaten out by a midget like this was the circus… I mean I could be out fucking whores in expensive hotel rooms, or jacked on coke at naked breakfast after getting destroyed last night, but I am a pussy and I have a cold and ditched out on the festivities at midnight to come home to my computer and my fat wife instead of goin’ crazy and having the time of my life…

When asked what I wanted for my birthday, I didn’t say pictures of Victoria Silvstedt pictures, but the people I know are poor so I take what I can get.

When asked what I wanted to accomplish for the upcoming year, I said not to die and that pretty much sums up today.

So send me your birthday wishes and remember, I am not nearly as cool as “Perez Hilton”, with 2 weeks of luxurious parties with Paris Hilton…a pink carpet event for all his fans to come and celebrate, but I am totally down for naked pics, so if you were thinking of doing it in the past, nows the day to actually go through with it.

In reality, I know you aren’t reading this, I feel like the year I was alone and bought a day old cake at the bakery, put candles in it and sang happy birthday to myself next to the dumpster in the back alley. It was one of my better birthdays, because in other years I’d end up in the dumpster or prison, or robbed and beaten, or in the hospital, I guess these are signs of me getting older and tamer and either way, Happy Fucking Birthday to Me….

I am accepting gifts. If everyone of you sends em a dollar, I’ll have $20 to buy myself something special. I don’t remember the last time I had $20. Make my dreams come true. Cuddles.

Posted in:Unsorted|Victoria Silvstedt

2007

06

Apr

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

17 Comments »

I like to post random pictures I find of Perez Hilton, because he is the leader of the celebrity blogger world and I like to remind people how fucking ugly he is. If he didn’t have a blog or if this was 5 years ago when the internet was for weird gaming people to meet in IRC Chatrooms and maintain relationships online because people in their real lives wouldn’t give them the time of day, Perez wouldn’t have ever been noticed and girls wouldn’t be running to get their pics taken with him like he was something special. These girls are the same girls who would have never banged him in highschool leading him to a life of Faggotness….

I am sick with a cold or something, my throat is sore, my glands are swollen, unfortunately not the gland I want to have swell, but lucky for you, this post comes with Easter links and not just me whining…ENJOY and remember, I love you.

Just Added – Some Bitch Named Emanuelle Chriqui Nipple Slip
GO

Hot Leotard Picture of the Day
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Olsen Twin Making Out With Her Boyfriend at a Hockey Game
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Two Seconds of Humping the Air in Panties
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New Sex Fetish – Veiny Bitches
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Jordan is Pregnant and Sexy
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Good Friday in the Philippines Means Getting Crucified
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America’s Hottest College Girl Winner
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Big Brother Aisleyne Horgan Wallace Getting Out of a Car Upskirt
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Hopping Down the Bunny Trail – Easter Porn
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America’s Next Top Model Thrown in the Pool By 50 Cent
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Three Asses in a Row on the Bus
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Lucy Liu Lesbian Vampire Video
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Linda Hamilton Flashes Her Pantyhose
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Carolina Pampita Ardohain in Lingerie is Amazing
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Blonde Webcam Chick Doing Webcam Chick Things
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Kate Beckinsale in Flaunt Magazine Pics
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Drunk Limbo
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The Newest Search for the New Pussycat Doll Episode
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Roselyn Sanchez Lookin Hot
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Pam Anderson Sunbathing in a Pink Bikini
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Some UK Bitch in Fetish Gear and a Nurses Uniform…Ruining the Sex Appeal of Fetish Gear and a Nurses Uniform
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Huge Latina Ass
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Drunk Girl Gagging
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Gemma Atkinson Naughty But Nice Photoshoot that looks like Every Other One of Her Photoshoots
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Solid Breast Massage Video
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Lauren Conrad Denies Sex Tape
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Kristin Cavallari Lookin’ Like a Whore….
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Girls Chugging Vodka
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Instructional Nudist Video from the 60s
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Baloon Bikinis Are Hot
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One Reader is Obsessed With This Bitch and Is Dying for a Panty Slip of Hers
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Fire Extinguisher Man
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Kate’s Playground Camel Toe Video
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Scary Spice Had a Baby and Kisses Women
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Drunk Girls Dancing and Singing
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Molly Shannon and Drew Barrymore Aren’t Funny, But Everyone Seems to Think They Are
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Kirsten Dunst is Making an Easter Basket or Jesus
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Britney’s New Boyfriend is a Criminal
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Some Star Jones Action
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Kim Kardashian Modeling in Some Fashion Show
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Look Inside Anna Nicole Smith’s Diary
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Year of the Carpet Red Carpet with Popbytes
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A little Webcam Ass
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The Hot American Idol Contestant
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Highschool Bully Gets Owned
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You need sex and I need sleep, This will help us both get what we want
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

06

Apr

I am – stepSTEVE’s Easter Balls of the Day

12 Comments »

This video is from a long time ago, but I don’t think it’s ever been posted so that’s why I am posting it now, think of it as an Easter Miracle or some shit. If you have seen it before, you can keep it to your motherfucking self because I am too fucking lazy to dig into my archives and find out. I am pretty sure you have no fucking interest in reading my logic behind posting so watch the fucking video and happy fucking easter, if you are a Jesus Lovin’ Asshole like me.

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

06

Apr

I am – stepSTEVE's Easter Balls of the Day

No Comments »

This video is from a long time ago, but I don’t think it’s ever been posted so that’s why I am posting it now, think of it as an Easter Miracle or some shit. If you have seen it before, you can keep it to your motherfucking self because I am too fucking lazy to dig into my archives and find out. I am pretty sure you have no fucking interest in reading my logic behind posting so watch the fucking video and happy fucking easter, if you are a Jesus Lovin’ Asshole like me.

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

06

Apr

I am – Goldie Hawn’s Rock Hard Tits of the Day

10 Comments »

I like old chicks better than no chicks. The other thing that’s good about old chicks is that the older a woman gets the sluttier she becomes, like a fine wine only with a little more nipple and cumshots. They realize that they don’t have their tight, perky, smooth skinned bodies to get them where they want to go and the only way to make up for it is to suck dick harder and better than the young ones they are competing with.

People assume that with age comes experience, like if you add up the number of cocks a woman has sucked over the number of years she’s been suckin cock, you get some crazy number of blow jobs she’s given, making her some kind of expert compared to a young hot college spring chicken of a girl, but the reality of it is that they just put more effort in because they know if they don’t satisfy a dude, he’s going elsewhere, cuz her floppy old tits aren’t enough to keep him around…while the college chick puts in the bare minimum because that’s all she’s gotta put in because no one likes sucking dick, except you. Fag.

That said, you aren’t getting any old chicks or young chicks so none of this concerns you and was really a waste of your time to read. I’d apologize but I am too lazy. Cuddles.

Posted in:Goldie Hawn|Unsorted

2007

06

Apr

I am – Goldie Hawn's Rock Hard Tits of the Day

No Comments »

I like old chicks better than no chicks. The other thing that’s good about old chicks is that the older a woman gets the sluttier she becomes, like a fine wine only with a little more nipple and cumshots. They realize that they don’t have their tight, perky, smooth skinned bodies to get them where they want to go and the only way to make up for it is to suck dick harder and better than the young ones they are competing with.

People assume that with age comes experience, like if you add up the number of cocks a woman has sucked over the number of years she’s been suckin cock, you get some crazy number of blow jobs she’s given, making her some kind of expert compared to a young hot college spring chicken of a girl, but the reality of it is that they just put more effort in because they know if they don’t satisfy a dude, he’s going elsewhere, cuz her floppy old tits aren’t enough to keep him around…while the college chick puts in the bare minimum because that’s all she’s gotta put in because no one likes sucking dick, except you. Fag.

That said, you aren’t getting any old chicks or young chicks so none of this concerns you and was really a waste of your time to read. I’d apologize but I am too lazy. Cuddles.

Posted in:Goldie Hawn|Unsorted

2007

06

Apr

I am – Penelope or Monica Cruz Foot Fetish Pics of the Day

2 Comments »

The beauty of the internet is that you can look at a bitch shop and not get caught like if you were on the street doing it. I remember being a pervert before the internet where I’d hang under staircases lookin’ up hoping to see some panty, or sitting on the bench in a bikini store waiting to see girls try shit on and model it for me for free before getting kicked out. I even remember trying to peek around the curtains of the changing room hoping to see some nudity, I didn’t need the internet to make me realize all the opportunity there is as a peeping tom. But I did need the internet to allow me to do it without getting arrested.

The internet breeds perverts like you because it makes you live differently than you used to. It has given you fetishes you would otherwise never have and instead of innocently walking by a store, you’ll find yourself trying to get an upskirt view, or catch yourself staring at a girl tries on her shoes. The problem is that the internet is a safe haven for all this shit, while being out in a mall leaves you open to the elements.

Here are some pics of Penelope or her sister Monica Cruz trying on shoes and giving some upskirt peeks, so you don’t have to go to the mall to get what you need. You’re welcome.

Posted in:Monica Cruz|Penelope Cruz|Unsorted

2007

06

Apr

I am – Haylie Duffgusting Leaves the Gym of the Day

6 Comments »

There was a time in my life when I needed work badly and landed a job giving tours on horse drawn carriages around the tourist part of town. The job fucking sucked and I got fired when I threw a pile of horse shit on this obnoxious fat couple who wouldn’t stop making stupid jokes about the hat I was forced to wear. I just lost it and that was the end of that career move, but I will always remember how cool the horses were, even if they were hungry and mistreated by the company, they were always so nice to look at.

The duffgusting sisters, are not real horses, they just have horse shaped heads, and that makes them not so nice to look at, especially when they are rockin’ a pair of shorts over spandex pants like they are trying to hide their dumpy ass from the world. If you are going to wear spandex, you don’t have to rock shorts to cover your fucking ass, even if your ass is disgusting. Just wear shorts to begin with because it won’t make you look like an insecure cunt too scared to show the world that you “aint all that”. It’s like when girls used to cover their asses by tying sweatshirts around their waists, or when fat chicks swim in shirts…You are ugly, deal with it, hiding it won’t make your bad ass go away….

Posted in:Haylie Duff|Unsorted