Monica Cruz Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2012

08

Aug

Monica Cruz for Agent Provocateur’s Fall Campaign of the Day

Monica Cruz is Penelope Cruz’s younger, hottter, less successful but thanks to that lack of success, and feelings of inadequacies, you know always comparing herself to her Oscar winning superstar sister, she’s willing to put up a fight to break down barriers, to get herself out there, so people know that the Cruz’s are more than just Penelope, and she’s doing that by partnering up with the hottest lingerie company around, Agent Provocateur, and is half naked in their latest campaign…all 1800s Jack the Ripper, hooker inspired, Syphilis ridden, septic filled streets greatness…..It’s pretty fucking hot, but I like all eras that aren’t this era…especially with half naked girls with daddy issues trying to outdo their older sisters to make a name for themselves…

Posted in:Monica Cruz

2010

03

Dec

Monica Cruz in a Skimpy Dress of the Day

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Monica is the coat tail riding, much hotter younger sister of Penelope Cruz and I always love the coat tail riding, much hotter younger sister of any more successful girl, but not as much as I love the much hotter older sister of any successful girl, because there’s just something that comes with that being left in the shadows, not understanding what is wrong with them, not realizing that they are in fact the better one to fuck, because they just feel inadequate and jealous in comparison and those kinds of girls really put out with a lot less attitude and maintenance as the successful ones everyone is trying to get a piece of…True story.

Posted in:Monica Cruz

2010

17

Sep

Monica Cruz Does Tits Right of the Day

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I like Monica Cruz. She’s got great tits.

She reminds me that life sometimes just doesn’t make sense, because you’d think as the hotter Cruz sister, she’d be the one winning Oscars, making stupid money, getting all the attention, but instead it’s her big nosed, birdfaced sister raking in all the attention, making me think that my theory on hot chicks is true, and that’s that when you’re hot, you don’t need to try as hard to get the world’s attention, you just are secure and take what comes your way….pretty much proving why most Hollywood pussy is insecure, average at best, cuz when they’re in movies or on TV, they automatically become the hot girls they wish they were.

So Penelope can have her Oscars….we all know that it’s all about Monica, or at least it should be all about Monica….

Posted in:Monica Cruz

2010

14

Jul

Monica Cruz Drunk of the Day

3 Comments »

Penelope Cruz got married to some dude named Javier who was in a movie with her and who is also Spanish and her sister Monica got fucking wasted and there’s something about wasted girls stumbling around, passed out on the sidewalk shoeless, that is porno to me and if I could, all women would act like this all the time, cuz that is when they make ill-decisions that usually lead to me having unprotected sex, or at least to me getting pics of their cunts while pantyless and spread eagled on a park bench….

This is my kind of girl….and if you happen to be a girl who accidentally just landed on the site…..take her lead…and send in pics…Thanks in advance.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Monica Cruz

2009

10

Jul

Monica Cruz is in Ibiza in a Bikini of the Day

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Monica Cruz is in a bikini in Ibiza and I’m not. She is the bootleg version of Penelope Cruz/her younger sister, only she comes without the offensively big nose and has a better body, but you know is insecure as shit because she lives her life in the shadow of her Oscar winning sister, meaning her inadequacies in life convert nicely into over compensation when sucking on a dick. Keep aiming to please, maybe one day you’ll figure out a way to come out on top and beat your cunt sister you pretend to love, but deep down inside know you hate…

Posted in:Bikini|Ibiza|Monica Cruz

2008

13

Nov

Monica Cruz Panty Upskirt of the Day

5 Comments »

I just realized I am late for something – so I decided to throw up some pictures to tide you over….who cares what I have to say anyway…but I will say that Monica Cruz is the kind of girl who’s panties I want to eat….I will be back in a minute, I just told this bitch I’d meet her for lunch, and now she’s standing in the rain somewhere and I’m hungry for free lunch…..

Update: Monica Cruz is the hotter Cruz sister, I mean Tom is just totally out of control and doesn’t shut up about all that scientology shit, while Penelope’s got a nose that can sniff out drugs in luggage at the airport, the kind that hangs over her top lip and makes you think you’re dealing with a fucking muppet on Sesame Street, not to mention put your penis size to shame when it beats you out in a dick size contest or when she tries to suck you off, but can’t get passed the tip because her fuckin’ nose is slammin’ your pelvis…..

That’s all I have to say about that….

Posted in:Monica Cruz|Panty|Upskirt

2007

18

Sep

I am – Penelope Cruz’s Cousin and Sister at the Beach of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz’s family on the beach somewhere without Penelope Cruz. I have posted about her sister Monica Cruz before, she’s sin the thong, but I have no idea who the topless chick is. The message board I steal my pictures from say that it’s her cousin and it doesn’t really matter who she is, all that matters is that she is living the life, sitting on the beach all thanks to Penelope’s hard work. I guess this is a lot like when they were living in Spain as kids and they’d sit at home all day and send Penelope off to mow lawns, clean houses, work at the local cafe so that when she got home they could steal her paycheck and buy themselves ice cream.

Reality is that I don’t care how she’s related to Penelope Cruz because I just like topless beaches and would post that shit whether bitch was famous or not. I have this fantasy of grandeur, living the life with an above ground pool and a backyard where my stepdaughter and her friends will tan topless while I just sit back and drink beer. All the 18-20 year old hot girls will come over to take advantage of the only pool in the ghetto and I will be a happy fucking man….

I guess the point of this post is that the cousin’s tits are uneven and there’s nothing sexier than bringing a bitch home, taking off her bra to find that shit was being balanced out with a pair of socks and you’re really dealing with some one tit bigger than the other shit that is a lot like driving with a flat tire.

Here are those pics:

Related Posts:

Penelope or Monica Cruz Foot Fetish Pics
Penelope Cruz’s TIts Leaving the Gym
Penelope Cruz Bikini Pictures
Penelope Cruz in a Short Dress

2007

18

Sep

I am – Penelope Cruz's Cousin and Sister at the Beach of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz’s family on the beach somewhere without Penelope Cruz. I have posted about her sister Monica Cruz before, she’s sin the thong, but I have no idea who the topless chick is. The message board I steal my pictures from say that it’s her cousin and it doesn’t really matter who she is, all that matters is that she is living the life, sitting on the beach all thanks to Penelope’s hard work. I guess this is a lot like when they were living in Spain as kids and they’d sit at home all day and send Penelope off to mow lawns, clean houses, work at the local cafe so that when she got home they could steal her paycheck and buy themselves ice cream.

Reality is that I don’t care how she’s related to Penelope Cruz because I just like topless beaches and would post that shit whether bitch was famous or not. I have this fantasy of grandeur, living the life with an above ground pool and a backyard where my stepdaughter and her friends will tan topless while I just sit back and drink beer. All the 18-20 year old hot girls will come over to take advantage of the only pool in the ghetto and I will be a happy fucking man….

I guess the point of this post is that the cousin’s tits are uneven and there’s nothing sexier than bringing a bitch home, taking off her bra to find that shit was being balanced out with a pair of socks and you’re really dealing with some one tit bigger than the other shit that is a lot like driving with a flat tire.

Here are those pics:

Related Posts:

Penelope or Monica Cruz Foot Fetish Pics
Penelope Cruz’s TIts Leaving the Gym
Penelope Cruz Bikini Pictures
Penelope Cruz in a Short Dress

2007

20

Jul

I am – Monica Cruz in a Bikini of the Day

5 Comments »

Monica Cruz

After work, I walked the 1.5 miles home and lost the will to live/ get laid. This is what I came across.

— a little boy fell off his skateboard skateboard while talking on his shiny Razr
— a pregnant woman with a gremlin face (condoms, please)
— a homeless man was washing his leper feat with water out of a McDonald’s cup
— an old man and his Woody Allen Voice yelling into his phone “You are my girlfriend, why are you treating me this way?” (mystery)
— a man pushing a dog in a hot pink stroller
— a 10 year old girl kicked a pigeon
— a Bentley with a license plate reading “CAVITY” (search?)

It felt like i was living in some fucked up combo of ‘Twin Peaks’ and ‘The Truman Show.’ I Got home, took some pills, drank. If I hadn’t been for my vibrator, I would have done myself in. It’s fancy. It has a clit stimulator.

So I am not hurting so much anymore, but you’ll be hurting for Monica Cruz on the beach in Ibiza wearing a bikini. Seriously, let’s talk about the charmed life. Your big sister, who is arguably less hot than you, makes it big as Tom Cruise’s beard, and you don’t have to work your way to fame, just sit their and look pretty. Nicely done, you hot, Spanish minx.

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

UPDATE: Here’s some ones of Penny too. Who do you love?

Related Posts
I am â€“ Penelope Cruz in a Short Dress of the Day
GO

I am â€“ Penelope or Monica Cruz Foot Fetish Pics of the Day
GO

I am â€“ Penelope Cruz Bikini Pics of the Day
GO

Posted in:Beach|Bikini|Monica Cruz|Penelope Cruz|Unsorted

2007

06

Apr

I am – Penelope or Monica Cruz Foot Fetish Pics of the Day

2 Comments »

The beauty of the internet is that you can look at a bitch shop and not get caught like if you were on the street doing it. I remember being a pervert before the internet where I’d hang under staircases lookin’ up hoping to see some panty, or sitting on the bench in a bikini store waiting to see girls try shit on and model it for me for free before getting kicked out. I even remember trying to peek around the curtains of the changing room hoping to see some nudity, I didn’t need the internet to make me realize all the opportunity there is as a peeping tom. But I did need the internet to allow me to do it without getting arrested.

The internet breeds perverts like you because it makes you live differently than you used to. It has given you fetishes you would otherwise never have and instead of innocently walking by a store, you’ll find yourself trying to get an upskirt view, or catch yourself staring at a girl tries on her shoes. The problem is that the internet is a safe haven for all this shit, while being out in a mall leaves you open to the elements.

Here are some pics of Penelope or her sister Monica Cruz trying on shoes and giving some upskirt peeks, so you don’t have to go to the mall to get what you need. You’re welcome.

Posted in:Monica Cruz|Penelope Cruz|Unsorted

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