DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2006

30

Nov

I am – More T-Shirt Designs of the Day

Here are some designs a graphics guy sent in to me for my T-shirt. I think the sex on the brain one is a little much and that the sacred heart may be a little played out and tha the baseball logo has also been done, but let me know your opinion. I appreciate that he took the time to send them into me, I just don’t know if any of these are what I am looking for…Since you’re the one who is going to be buying the shirts, let me know what you think, not because I care, but because I want your money. Cuddles.

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2006

30

Nov

I am – Big Breasted One-Liner of the Day

20 Comments »

I met a big breasted girl who knew about the site. I asked her to write me a one-liner because that’s all PEREZ does and he’s famous. Just look at how much he charges for advertising….

Either way, this is today’s one-liner by a Big Breasted Girl….

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“just cuz u dont need to support k-fed anymore doesnt mean u can’t support ur boobies””

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2006

30

Nov

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Big Boobs of the Day….

6 Comments »

I went out for a sandwich cuz the sandwich guy gives me free sandwiches. He knows I am a hurtbag. I got pretty fucking annoyed because they didn’t have what I wanted and I feel like beggars should be choosers, otherwise they’ll always get second best. I went to starbucks to get a free coffee from the girl who gives me free coffee. She knows that I am a hurtbag. I got pretty fucking happy because my favorite homeless guy was there only today he was fucking INSANE. He is the same guy who asked me if I was working on a computer. Anyway, today he was screaming about his Dad and about Guns and it’s pretty fucking clear that I wouldn’t let him babysit my stepdaughters….

Speaking of hurtbags, homeless men and people I wouldn’t let babysit my stepchildren, I realized today that MUNG has stopped visiting the site, he has stopped sending in his posts, he’s fallen off the map. I think he’s got a job or maybe a gf and maybe his life has taken a turn for the better. MUNG, if you’re out there, I hope all is good you’ll always be second best to me, but that’s a good place to be….

Speaking of all second best, here are some pics of Kim Kardashian at some Volkswagen Event Showing off her Big Boobs .

I am – Kim Kardashian's Big Boobs of the Day….

6 Comments »

I went out for a sandwich cuz the sandwich guy gives me free sandwiches. He knows I am a hurtbag. I got pretty fucking annoyed because they didn’t have what I wanted and I feel like beggars should be choosers, otherwise they’ll always get second best. I went to starbucks to get a free coffee from the girl who gives me free coffee. She knows that I am a hurtbag. I got pretty fucking happy because my favorite homeless guy was there only today he was fucking INSANE. He is the same guy who asked me if I was working on a computer. Anyway, today he was screaming about his Dad and about Guns and it’s pretty fucking clear that I wouldn’t let him babysit my stepdaughters….

Speaking of hurtbags, homeless men and people I wouldn’t let babysit my stepchildren, I realized today that MUNG has stopped visiting the site, he has stopped sending in his posts, he’s fallen off the map. I think he’s got a job or maybe a gf and maybe his life has taken a turn for the better. MUNG, if you’re out there, I hope all is good you’ll always be second best to me, but that’s a good place to be….

Speaking of all second best, here are some pics of Kim Kardashian at some Volkswagen Event Showing off her Big Boobs .

I am – Saving DrunkenStepfather.com by Emailing Dov Charney Demanding He Advertises of the Day

No Comments »

I have emailed American Apparel asking them for an advertising deal. I am tired of working for nothing and I know that if I don’t get this deal I am forced to sell the site or shut down the site, which wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing for me, but it would be a bad thing for you.

If I don’t get this deal, the end of stepfather will come and I’ll have to get back to working a regular 9-5 job. Point of the story is that American Apparel has money, they are equally sleazy to me and I have the CEO Dov Charney’s email address. So I suggest that you fans do your part in helping me land an ad deal by sending him an email asking for his support. It’s like strength in numbers or some shit…and if it doesn’t work out at least we all left our mark and tried our best and went out with a bang….

So if you want to SAVE DrunkenStepfather

CLICK THIS LINK AND SEND THIS EMAIL

The more people who send that out, the more chance of getting American Apparel to Advertise. If you really want to make sure he notices, send him sleazy pics of hot young girls, I heard he’s into that. Thanks in Advance, My Fingers are Crossed and Cuddles.

Speaking of Sleazy pics of young girls, here’s some of Lohan leaving a club showing off her bra…

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2006

29

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

6 Comments »

I just watched Oprah and learned a whole lot about sleep apnea, losing weight and gaining inches in your penis, the benefits of constant sex and a 30 year old who is really 55 years old in health cuz he has high blood pressure and diabetes….it was life changing and makes me realize I need to get a fucking job, I am becoming a woman. Which isn’t a bad thing since I like boobs.

Speaking of life changing, the news anchor just said “Whipped Cream Covered Nipples” and made the funniest face I’ve ever seen, like a “who the fuck wrote this” and it made me laugh. Again too much T.V. with only one channel reminds me that I am a housewife without all the responsibility of raising the kids…

Speaking of laugh, here are my stepLINKS.

More Britney Upskirt Action
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Vote for Raymi The Minx in Some Canadian Blog Thing…It’s Important to Her…
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Vote For Muff Hair Song as Best Song for One Of My Readers…
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Maria Ozawa is the Hottest Japanese Woman on the Planet According to Some…
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Rocky T-Shirt for Rocky Movie that Is Gonna Be Huge….
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Some Dude Who Thinks Pinkisthenewblog is Gay..Probably Not The Most Perceptive Person in the World….
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Snoop Got Busted Again Cuz He’s Cooler Than You
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Creepy Looking Gamer and His Kids. I Assume He’s British, They All Look Like That…
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This is the Mike23 Couch, Made With the Jordan Cement Colors…Crazy to See Where these Sneaker Freaks are Headed….
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Danny Devito Drunk on The View….Daytime Drunks Are My Favorite Kind of Drunks…
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Someone Named Donna Air Showing Off Her Panty Upskirt.
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Weird IndieErotica Gallery that Really Isn’t Hot…
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More LastNightParty Pics From Some Basement Party
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Julia Stegner at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show
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Michael Richards Plays the Jewish Card
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This is the closest I can get to Hiring a Hooker For You…seriously check out the Deal…
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Some Big Amateur Boobs
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Beyonce’s New Video Drops at 11 pm – Here’s a Video of Her Talking About That Video or Something
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A Girl Who THinks She Looks Fat in a Bikini
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Another Girl Who Thinks She Looks Fat in a Bikini
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Another Girl Who Thinks She Looks Fat….
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An Anorexic Lookin’ Girl Who Thinks She’s Fat
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Some Anorexia Erotica or Something…
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Some Upskirt Smoking Pic
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Shittiest Bikini Pic of the Day
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Buy 10 StepShirts and Save The Site
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2006

29

Nov

I am – Rihanna Performs of the Day

107 Comments »

I guess what’s funny to me, isn’t funny to everyone and what is hot to me isn’t what’s hot to everyone. These pictures have been floating around the last couple of days and are really funny because it makes me think this girl thinks she needs to dress like this to get fans and they are definitely hot because if you look closely you’ll realize she’s half naked.

I have a thing for one-piece outfits, where the bottoms and the tops are connected. This is Rhianna performing in that kinda one-piece dancer outfit that American Apparel is pumping out and hipsters are eating up. I don’t know where my love for these came from, but I am thinking it was probably when I was supposed to be in college, but was too busy drinking and living on the streets, but all the hot girls I’d see in the park and walking around and sitting on campus would be wearing body suits, that shit was all the rage and these bathing suit, spandex things on, tucked into a hot pair of light colored tapered jeans wered behind any girl showing off their body, and by body I mean boobs. In a way, the bodysuit was the gateway from cheesy early nineties over-sized t-shrts and turtle necks to HOT nipple exposing shirts we see today, in a way it is responsible for this site, without any slutty shirts, I would have nothing to write about.

I guess this post isn’t really what I expected it to be, but going back and editing it would be a waste of time considering I have 10 readers and these pics over-shadow what I write…..

Speaking of over-shadowing what I do, it’s that festive time of year so I am thinking of stealing a tree for my wife from one of these x-mas tree vendors down the street. I suggest you do the same, because buying a dead tree off a drunk guy seems like a bit of a scam. Like buying lactose from a south american claiming the shit is Columbia Gold. That analogy made no sense, but keeping in the theme of no-looking back…I bet you regret reading this … CUDDLES.

Posted in:Performing|Rihanna|Unsorted

2006

29

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere with Santa of the Day

1 Comment »

I am not a pedophile or sex offender, but I think some pedophile police are trying to track me down or build a case against me via myspace and this site. I haven’t broken any laws by posting underage girl pictures but I feel like someone is waiting for me to fuck up. I may have come close by writing inappropriate things to randoms on mysapce without thinking. I also know that some of you readers may be pedophiles, but I never provide you with pedophile entertainment and I don’t condone your sick behavior.

I know that I went through a phase where I would link to youtube videos of people of a variety of ages, but that was my way of saying that youtube breed sex offenders and they were bought for 1.6 Billion Dollars. Kinda crooked if you ask me….and since that’s out of my system and the point is proven, I’ve stopped.

To clarify things, this is a celebrity/social commentary site and it’s all done for comedic and entertainment purposes. This site is not meant to be a place for criminals to congregate, it’s a place for me to get drunk and molest you with my stupid rants…that you are supposed to laugh at and shake your head at thinking to yourself how lucky you are to not be me.

I ended up seeing the Uganda movie I saw on Oprah last week about the dictator who went crazy from the paranoia that his allies and advisors were working against him. Despite people sending me random messages that seem like traps from fake myspace profiles, or emails from people I don’t know with the names of people who helped me with the site….Despite the fact that my gmail was hacked and my lap top was stolen… I will not allow that paranoia to get the best of me.

What I will do is continue the site but watch every word I type, to prevent mis-interpretation that leaves me raped in the shower of prison or I may stop the site completely because this shit’s definitely not worth going to jail for…when I could just focus my writing into a book, the chances of getting published are about as high as the chances of making money off this last week’s kitchen garbage of a site.

For the record – 14 is the age of consent in Canada and 18 is legal for Nude pics, someone told me 16 is ok for topless and I posted some UK model named Cherry Dee’s topless pics when she was 16 and Emmalina the Youtube whore pics from when she was underage prior to knowing they were underage and when I did find out they were underage I pulled the pics…we all make mistakes…It’s safe to say that when I become famous, I’ll just run each post by a lawyer before publishing it on the web. Right now, I will stick to worrying about making rent this month and not about FBI being after me or being rich enough to hire lawyers to defend me.

On that note here are some Hayden Panettiere with Santa Pics… Enjoy you fucking sicko…CUDDLES.

BONUS – HER UPSKIRT FROM A NATIONAL TELEVISION NETWORK…..NOT FROM MY PERSONAL PHOTO STUDIO….

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2006

29

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

27 Comments »

I love that out of the 10 people who read this site, 5 of you email me asking to hang out and you are dudes. I generally don’t meet men off the internet…so you may be out of luck. I do however meet men who take me to movies, but not in a gay way, in a something to do on a tuesday night when I have no money and no booze and someone I know offered to pay for me kind of way. So that’s where I am going now…but before I leave…here are my steplinks of the day…

I want someone to rip off this design…add a donkey and give me the rights to put it on a t-shirt….Thanks…
GO

I just watched Law and Order, Michelle Trachtenberg Plays a VIdeo Blogger who Gets Kidnapped…These are her “video blogs”
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Michael Richards Makes Another Apology, This Time to Jesse Jackson….
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Cameron Diaz Gets a Nose Job…
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Here’s a stupid video about the group of 27 or the 27 club or whatever the fuck it’s called and it’s by some guy who doesn’t like Paris Hilton….
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Here is Amanda Bynes Getting Fat
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Looking Good Sweetheart
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This is a stupid way to keep your money safe…and if you find it a genius idea, why pay 11 dollars for it when you can make your own for free…
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Hilary Duff and Joel Madden Break Up Because Of Age Differences…I am guessing she’s got too old for him….
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This is called GILF Porn, So I Assume It’s Grandma Porn…I suggest you don’t click this if you don’t like Grandma Porn…
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Some Gisele Pics That Aren’t Very Hot
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Britney Spears and Paris Hilton Host Billboard Awards
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More Jessica Simpson Photoshoot Pics in Honor of her Sex Tape
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I drank homemade absinthe and it fucked me up for days…this isn’t homemade absinthe, but it will probably fuck you up for days…
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The Hitcher Trailer
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Ashlee Simpson Wears Sketchers…
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Here’s a Clip from Doc on Dead or Alive Frontman Called Pete Burns Unspun
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3 Pheromone Spray Bottles for the Price of 1…Affordable Way To Get Laid…
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Yesterday’s Britney Spears Cleavage Pics
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Jessica Simpson Looking Retarded for You
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Looking Good Sweetheart
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Lebanese Singer’s Upskirt
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Raymi the Minx Sings a Stupid Song
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ThighsWideShut of the Day
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Black Friday at Last Night’s Party
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Until I Get My Shirts Up, Get One of These
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2006

29

Nov

I am – The Next stepSHIRT of the Day

1 Comment »

JESUS’ PINK ASS

THE NOT-SO-STEPFATHER CREST

STEP TV

VINTAGE STEPDAUGHTER TATTOO

LOHAN STALKER

I need to sell 250 shirts to pay for my server. I need a better design than the one I have because no one wants the one I have and I need to sell 250 shirts to pay for my server. These are the submissions I’ve got so far, I don’t think any of these will sell or that any of these are really that good, but I need to sort this out ASAP cuz otherwise the site gets shut down and none of us really want that. I hate reaching out to you asking for your advice because I know you are a loser and I know that you have no idea as to what’s up or as to what’s cool or as to what 250 people will buy but I figured that since I need your money, I guess I want to make sure that you need my t-shirt, so leave your feedback in the comments so that I can get this shit sorted out. Thanks in advance and Cuddles.

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