There are some pretty desperate people out there who can get off to an ugly teenage popstar just because she’s got a mic up in her face that makes it easier to visualize a cock in its place. I never really understood that level of desperation but that’s probably because celebrities don’t really get me fired up, but slutty 19 year olds do, and there’s ample clips of slutty 19 year olds on the internet actually sucking dick on video, so I never had to get that low and pathetic to pretend a mic was a cock, but don’t feel bad, I am pretty sure there have been many other things that were just as low, desperate and pathetic, but no one’s judgin’ anyone here, we’re all a gang of fucking losers…especially you.
I don’t know what gave this bitch an ego that made her believe she was capable of doing whatever the fuck she wants in life because she got cast on Gossip Girl despite the odds of her being a hooker born in a group home thanks to her whore mother, but I guess it’s working alright for her…so well she’s gained 10 pounds for the occassion…none of which ended up on her tits….
Watch the garbage…that is the Kiss FM Jingle Ball.
I think Shakira has lost her appeal in a big way, but that doesn’t mean she has. If you do a Youtube search, you’ll see that people still masturbate to her, at least I assume they do, because the only reason a video would get that many views is because a few motherfuckers spent at least a week goin back to that video for their orgasms.
I know that Shakira is cheating in this outfit by sneaking a pair of gold American Apparel shorts on under her dress so that she’s not flashing the world her panty covered twat, and I find the whole thing a serious fucking disappointment. As an immigrant in the industry, she should go that extra mile to make her stand out amongst the rest, for fear that she’d be sent back to cleaning hotel rooms or whatever else Columbian illegals do when they sneak into the country.
I also know that if the way she is rocking the mic is representing that way she gives head, you may want to tape your dick down, or she may just pull the fucking thing off, and by you I don’t actually mean you, because I know the chances of you banging Shakira are pretty much non-existent….but you get what I am saying…
Either way, less shorts, more pussy…even if these shorts are on to cover your padded Spanx that make her look like she’s got more of a booty than she actually does…..and here are the pics…
Here’s a video of Beyonce performing some shitty song in the Ukraine with no pants on, which I figured was appropriate because Ukranian people have been known to love not wearing pants, especially back in the human trafficking era of communism. I don’t know anything about the Ukraine so I pulled that one out of the catalog, so if it sucked, I am sure it didn’t suck as much as life does for Jay-z, everytime Beyonce makes him come home from his real money makin’ girlfriend to play house and feed her ego by listening to her talk about when she wins that Academy award, despite Beyonce getting fed on any level being a bad idea,
Here are some pics of Beyonce and Jay Z at some pool party clothed…thank god…..
And here is Rihanna’s 10 Million Dollar Mansion Jay-Z pretty much bought her in Hollywood….Just to remind Beyonce where his priorities are…
So Ashley Tisdale was out performing and trying to be as hot as she can, but unfortunately for her, hot is impossible, unless she’s in the fuckin’ sauna, or on a tropical resort, or being caught in a house fire when a crazed fan torches her shit cuz she won’t answer their fan mail, because no matter how much surgery she gets, she’s still ugly, and here she is performing cuz I know you wish you were the mic, or at least your penis was, because all mouth is good mouth, at least that’s what you tell yourself when you hook up with gay dudes, since they’re always down to suck dick and girls you know aren’t so much, because you’re too scared to talk to them….
Here’s Pink performing while dressed like some kind of rooster or some shit. I really don’t have anything to say about this shit because I am falling the fuck asleep. I got drunk and wondered the streets last night and pretty much nothing happened to leave me inspired, and this concert costume isn’t really helping, sure I could talk about the time I met a guy who used to fuck chickens, usually raw from the grocery store, sometimes cooked, once live and in its egghole at some underground hispanic cock fighting ring, and he’d always talk about how there’s no logic to using your hand when the world offers you so many resources when it comes to masturbation, but that never happened, but Pink in this outfit did.
Dumpy Katy Perry tried to get sexy in some performance the other day by wearing some cat suit with leopard print on it. Pretty cliche or obvious but Katy Perry is not capable of being sexy. She could be up on stage doing a high school girl masturbation scene and I’d still want her to stop. She’s awkward, she’s annoying and she’s fat you just can’t see it because you are a pervert, or a chick who is fatter than her and admitting she is fat means you have admit you’re fat, but I can tell that her midsection looks it is fighting with a pair of spanx and losing. I hate her and she isn’t a sex symbol just because guys will fuck her or because she sings about obvious sex fantasies, guys will fuck anyone and girl on girl action isn’t always hot, you know especially when the girls involved are the two fat chicks dykes no guy wants to fuck unless they are drunk so let’s just put things into perspective.
If you’re wondering why I haven’t updated the site, it’s because I am running of West Coast time and I’ve been out hoping from Oscar party to Oscar party all night long. Sure, I’m not actually in California and I wasn’t invited to a single Oscar party because I am irrelevant, and sure I only watched a few minutes of the Oscars because that shit depresses me, and I didn’t actually go to any Oscar parties, not even themed shit at my local bar.
I just got drunk and passed out at four in the morning and feel like I should have watched this segment of the Oscars where Beyonce rocks out while I was drunk because that way I’d be able to focus on Vanessa Hudgens cleavage and one piece vagina hugging outfit, but instead can’t see past Beyonce and her huge thighs trying to steal the fucking spotlight. So if you’re into something pretty shitty while I get my posts together, watch this garbage.
UPDATE:
Here are some pictures from the Oscars because I’ve decided to not really cover the shit because my opinion doesn’t matter especially when it comes to how predictable, political and drawn out this jerk off fest is. I did like Jackman’s intro and the set design, I was happy to see Wall-E win but hated pretty much everything else.
Some Penelope Cruz Before Her Inspirational Acceptance Speech….
Miley Cyrus Brought Her Wonky Teeth as a Date….
Anne Hathaway Needs Sun, This Casper Shit Makes Her Look Like She’s Dying…
Some Vanessa Hudgens Because She had No Business Being There….
There’s a lot more of this shit in the stepFORUM GO
In more tragic news, Lady Gaga was at the Brits pushing her sucking her dick to the top skills to the next level to secure a stronger UK audience by somehow working her way onto the bill by performing with the legendary gay anthem Pet Shop Boys because I guess they thought she was in their target market, until bitch took off her pants and they realized there was no sign of testicle.
The point is that she befriends the media like Perez because she knows he is huge and has huge visibility and plays nice to him so he thinks he is in because he’s a bottom feeding lonely leach trying to get the respect he thinks he deserves and her text messages provide that glimmer of hope, she befriends other artists, she caters to the gay market and the whole time she does it, she’s fucking ugly, I’m talking monster fucking ugly and there’s no sign of her disappearing yet, not that it’s easy for a mutant with a birth defect to keep low profile anywhere she goes, but as long as she’s off the TV, Internet and Radio, I’ll be happy.
It was the British Music Awards last night and Girls Aloud were the opening act. I know, why would you care about the British Music Awards, you don’t live there so it doesn’t affect you, not to mention award shows are a total waste of fucking time and are more of a jerk off fest where people who already have massive egos get pinned up against each other for one to walk away the super ego, meanwhile every person in the room has already won the fucking lottery, but at least every now and then, bands I hate like Nickelback aren’t in the spotlight, and a group of slut Spice Girl impersonators who somehow avoided a career of stripping take center fucking stage and there’s nothing wrong with that, I mean other than how bad their music is, but who cares about the music when they’ve got tits. Right?
Here is member Sarah Harding’s Friend and by friend I mean assistant she probably shits on daily, Taking a Dive…..because it is funny and something These Drunk Sluts are Used To
