Oscars Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2024

11

Mar

Oscar Winner Cord Jefferson Slipped Into My Inbox in 2007 of the Day

It looks like I’ve finally had a brush with fame and fortune thanks to being DrunkenStepfather.

His name is Cord Jefferson and he WAS a celebrity blogger, before moving onto Gawker, then deciding to write for TV, and then a movie that won him an Oscar, because it’s that easy.

I saw his movie, American Fiction, which was actually pretty sassy, you know calling out the idiot whites lawyer exec types who run entertainment, publishing and everything else with their low level ideas and attempts to be diverse, or on trend, when really they are detached idiots.

I liked his movie, but thought it was more entertaining that he was a celebrity blogger, it’s like one of us came out of this on-top, I mean a lot of them came out on top, I know of at least a dozen success stories of Celebrity Bloggers turned rich as fuck…not all of them give up and kill themselves.

Anyway, his emails that he slipped into my inbox were nothing personalized, just in the form of being included on the mailing list of a celebrity blog called MollyGood that he was editor.

It wasn’t a direct email to me, telling me how amazing and talented I am, or how bad he wanted to work with me, he didn’t even answer me when I told him that I like cords, they sound so great. Maybe I’m the next Kimmel hosting next Years Oscars….

It was more a “Hey, I am the editor of this site, I’m going to send you all my articles that you link”….which I probably linked, because I’m a nice guy and stepLINKS are my life’s work.

I thought it would be a FUN exercise to see how CORD has evolved as a writer, making Oscar winning movies, by checking out some of his old headlines that are no longer available to google because the site he edited is pulled down.

This isn’t an attempt to get anyone cancelled, they are all pretty tame.

It’s just a old fashion way to say I touched emails with a star, because no one else has these emails in their inbox, because most people have moved on with their lives and aren’t stunted retards.

He talks Jenna Jameson’s pussy, saying it needs vaginoplasty…which is kind.

He makes a weird Anna Nicole Smith / Andrew Jackson Fucking Indian joke I don’t understand, because clearly I’m not as smart as him, he’s got the Oscar to prove it.

He disses Pam Anderson by calling her Dr Frankenstein…which I think her tits probably are…Basically Willem Dafoe’s face in POOR THINGS…..

Other than that, his headlines are pretty dull, but not too dull to become an ACADEMY AWARD WINNER, just dull for me, because I always wanted celebrity blogs to be more hardcore than mainstream media….

TO SEE EVERYTHING OSCARS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Oscars

2019

25

Feb

Oscars Round-up of the Day

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The oscars….

I decided to LIVE TWEET on my TWITTER …the least followed twitter for the amount of time I’ve been on Twitter…the majority of my tweets were my deep hatred for Lady Gaga that is warranted, because I paid to rent A Star is Born to see the hype, and I quickly discovered that I felt zero emotion, it was a bootleg biography on her scam of a career, and that if people felt anything watching her performance, they were fucking idiots…So I was glad she didn’t win….

I will say that Hollywood is not anything like it was, there is no exclusivity, high end appeal. No elitism, just a lot of Ego…they are just over paid regular people that are not compelling or interesting or exciting.

There is also something going on in Hollywood, some sort of trying to find itself, trying to stay relevant and exist in this digital world…because they never realized that the average person likes movies and TV shows, but they don’t care about anything else about the movie or TV show. They don’t care about the actors, the gossip, they hype or the marketing…we’re busy, we have shit going on…

So seeing the Academy integrate influencers or youtubers, giving them legit careers, because building a Youtube is more than most writers and directors can do….is funny…seeing them try to be diverse…like REALLY try to be diverse despite being racists…is funny…but for some reason the whole thing wasn’t funny…it was boring…so I guess funny was the wrong adjective…because it fucking sucked…

Here are some of the sluts…that were there…

Hottie Elsa Hosk being Hot

Em RatCow ..

Halsey new tits

Kendall Jenner Pussy Flash

Miley Cyrus with the tits

Rita Ora Full Ass

Sara Sampaio Daughter of a Fisherman

Sarah Hyland back fat

Shanina Shaik

Stella Maxwell looking for new actress dick

Toni Garn got them titties on

Vanessa Hudgens with the leg slit

Kristen Ritter Got Knocked Up

Kacey Musgraves looking Plastic

Rachel Weisz – When you have the Oscars at 9 but are visiting R Kelly to get pissed on at 10 outfit

Lady Gaga with the OJ Gloves

Amandla Stenberg- is there nipple happening here?

Melissa McCarthy

Amy Adams with the titty stretch marks – As Phoebe Price says, red on the head fire in the hole

Ashley Graham looking for the buffet table

Jennifer Lopez going by the age old saying, if you wear mirrors nobody will see you

Emma Stone ..

Charlize Theron as Bella Hadid

Brie Larson

Josephine Skriver at the Elton John AIDS viewing party..

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Oscars|SFW

2017

27

Feb

The Oscars Happened and Here are some Sluts of the Day

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Obviously, every award show roles around and I say that shit’s for old people who still have TV…

That’s not to say I don’t like movies, I just don’t like the cunts in movies after the movies, with all their money fame and egos…

I am pretty glad Lala Land didn’t win, but Oscar So White was top priority as they scramble to stay relevant…but like social media and shit, the only way to do that is with a meme, hashtag, publicity stunt……OR……controversy…

It’s an archaic, incestuous, masturbatory experience in “let’s celebrate our goddamn selves with trophies that market our movies and elevate us as a whole”…and whatever…it happened…and bitches were there in dresses….despite all being hookers who did some shit to be famous….

Maybe I’m just bitter I wasn’t invited, I am not part of the “it” crowd, I am not nominated or giving speeches to rooms full of my peers saying “i’m the best, I’m the best, I’m the best”….But I figure staring at the overrated pussy in pics is a better way to go about these things….

Hailee Steinfeld was there in a sheer, but not quite sheer enough dress….looking skinnier than ever – cuz skinny is better…

Emma Roberts was there in a skimpy top for her skimpy tits…all ginger and average looking….all skinny and not fat….which is a good thing.

Emma Stone, I didn’t even look to see if she won, but she probably did, even though she’s terrible, but it is her time….to shine….the belle of the ball..trying to be classically beautiful with the Botox face….and still rocking that weird mouth….I don’t hate her for existing, I just think she’s an overrated average at best chick who has tricked you all…and I’m right…

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Here she is at some Oscar party in some pantsuit with her stupid looking mouth…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Salma Hayek was There with a Botox Mangled Face and Some Very Fertile…like the virgin soil on her Mexican Citrus and Avacado farm….

Chrissy Teigen Was there – Medicated and in a sheer top – cuz she’s a hooker who seduced the right wallet and now gets invited to Oscars as the escort….

Jessica Biel was there – dressed like a Trophy – Cuz She’s the Trophy Wife – Getting Older and Older….Rotting even….

Here butt shots…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Kirsten Dunst Was there – Cuz She Didn’t Die of a Drug Overdose Yet….Her Snaggle Tooth was her date, but she kept her mouth shut so we don’t get to see the source of her super powers…

Alicia Vikander was there…because she’s the Naked AI you nerds want to fuck….oh and sshe’s won an Oscar before…

OH SHIT…Scar Jo….so Iconic with her lesbian hair…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Big Girl Big Star Charlize Theron….is old…but the guy who she fucked for her first part will always remember her big break…she probably blocked it out…it’s been so long….

Brie Larson – Big WInner Last Year was there….and she’s back…

Brie Larson in the best Hair and Make-Up her celebrity money can by – is so fucking basic looking, so average, like how is she not a waitress at Denys…what is this shit…

Felicity Jones Was There – I don’t know who the fuck that is – but I’d Let her Suck My Dick for the Part….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Sofia Carson – I Don’t know who the fuck that is – but I’d Let her Suck My Dick for a Role….

Dakota – Thank God her Mom is Melanie Griffith – Johnson – was there, obviously…her mom got her tickets…..

White Girl Pretending to be Black – Halle Berry – Oscar Winner – Was There with her Ethnic Hair…because Oscars So White needs more color..

Nicole Kidman is Still a Fucking Robot…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Milana Vayntrub is some monster but she’s amazing…I don’t know what Oscar Party it was…but it was the right one…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE OSCAR PICS CLICK HERE

Amy Adams and her Tits Were there….

Ryan Gosling’s sister, who is likely old and chubby, but has fat girl tits, and shows her fat girl tits, for attention was there…and it was magical…she’s gone viral – she’s now a MEME…..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE OSCAR PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Events|Oscars|SFW

2014

03

Mar

Jennifer Lawrence Arm Fat Jiggle AND Liza Minnelli Old Lady Nipples Highlight the Oscaras the Day

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I wasn’t at the Oscars…I am not Hollywood…in fact I find Hollywood a fucking joke…far greater than any joke that Ellen made last night…because the whole thing fucking sucked…there was no funny. clever or relevant angle…and the only thing semi interesting was that they broke twitter during a Samsung product placement ad that the world probably didn’t realize was a product placement even though the phone she was using was the size of her fucking head…

The only good thing about the Oscar, other than Jennifer Lawrence celebrating her arm fat and Liza Minnelli’s nipples…was the memorial reminding us all that these evil people die…but more importantly…that there’s going to be a new Hollywood…sooner than later…people are tired of the same faces, the same boys club, and it’s bound to be shaken up…and that’s a good thing…

TO SEE ALL THE OSCAR PICS MADAM MEOW COULD FIND CLICK HERE

Posted in:Oscars

2014

02

Mar

Jennifer Lawrence is Already Crying for Attention at the Oscars of the Day

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We get it Jennifer Lawrence…falling is your thing…because people find it cute, honest, endearing and that’s kinda your angle…

If you’re watching the oscars join me on twitter TWITTER where I’ll be tweeting racist jokes….

TO SEE ALL THE OSCAR PICS MADAM MEOW COULD FIND CLICK HERE

Posted in:Oscars

2013

21

Jan

W Magazine’s Best Performances Photoshoot of the Day

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I don’t read W Magazine, but apparently they have some Oscar issue where they take semi-erotic pics of the Oscar Nominees, which makes sense since we all like erotic, and the Oscars are in february….it just makes totaly logical sense…so much sense that I wonder why every magazine isn’t doing an Oscar issue…because Hollywood is the most important thing in America….idiots.

…Emma Stone….is on the cover….in her bra…if you care…and you do….

Here’s the list of girls.

MARION COTILLARD IN RUST AND BONE
CARMEN EJOGO IN SPARKLE
DREE HEMINGWAY IN STARLET
ELLE FANNING IN GINGER & ROSA
KERRY WASHINGTON IN DJANGO UNCHAINED
AMY ADAMS IN THE MASTER
FREIDA PINTO IN TRISHNA
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY IN ANNA KARENINA
JESSICA CHASTAIN IN ZERO DARK THIRTY
MARY ELIZABETH WINSTEAD IN SMASHED
DREAMA WALKER IN COMPLIANCE
NICOLE KIDMAN IN THE PAPERBOY

Here are the pics….

Posted in:Oscars

2009

24

Feb

Beyonce’s Nipple Slip from the Oscar of the Day

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I posted this shitty Beyonce, Jackman, High School Musical performance from the Oscars yesterday because I had slept in and I knew that the best way to annoy people was to post more Oscar bullshit.

I didn’t take the time to watch it and the part that I did see was spent avoiding Beyonce’s Fried Chicken things by trying to spot a Zac Effron vagina slip, so I didn’t notice that Beyonce’s nipple popped out, but luckily, someone with a lot of time on his hands, took the time to capture the moment for people like me to share with the world. Thanks economic crisis and job layoffs for letting us distract our unemployed selves with the things that really fucking matter….

Posted in:Beyonce|Nipple Slip|Oscars

2009

23

Feb

Frieda Pinto Wears Her Oscar Pass of the Day

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I love how this Slumdog Millionaire Indian chick is walking around with her Oscar all access pass or whatever the fuck that laminate is.

It’s like she knows that no one in Hollywood really has any idea who she is, despite being in the Picture of the Year and being pretty hot, because Hollywood is racist and assume if you’re brown you’re either part of the cleaning crew, there to set up, deliver food, sell beer at their convenience store or offer outsourced tech support for all major American brands and don’t really belong in front of the camera or on the red carpet.

Posted in:Frieda Pinto|Oscars

2009

23

Feb

Beyonce Performing with the High School Musical People of the Day

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If you’re wondering why I haven’t updated the site, it’s because I am running of West Coast time and I’ve been out hoping from Oscar party to Oscar party all night long. Sure, I’m not actually in California and I wasn’t invited to a single Oscar party because I am irrelevant, and sure I only watched a few minutes of the Oscars because that shit depresses me, and I didn’t actually go to any Oscar parties, not even themed shit at my local bar.

I just got drunk and passed out at four in the morning and feel like I should have watched this segment of the Oscars where Beyonce rocks out while I was drunk because that way I’d be able to focus on Vanessa Hudgens cleavage and one piece vagina hugging outfit, but instead can’t see past Beyonce and her huge thighs trying to steal the fucking spotlight. So if you’re into something pretty shitty while I get my posts together, watch this garbage.

UPDATE:

Here are some pictures from the Oscars because I’ve decided to not really cover the shit because my opinion doesn’t matter especially when it comes to how predictable, political and drawn out this jerk off fest is. I did like Jackman’s intro and the set design, I was happy to see Wall-E win but hated pretty much everything else.

Some Penelope Cruz Before Her Inspirational Acceptance Speech….