Performing Archives - Page 2 of 3 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

10

Feb

Jessica Simpson’s Short Short Concert Pics of the Day

I had these pictures lined up yesterday, but then the Grammy’s post gave me a mild heart attack that is apparently not a heart attack at all, but probably just too much caffeine making me feel like the biggest fucking pussy around, I mean other than Jessica Simpson, I hear she’s working on eating too much of everything to actually be the biggest fucking pussy around, before choking on her own neck fat before dying of a heart attack.

I am talking a pussy so big you’d take your kids on a day trip to see and maybe even drive through like one of those West Coast Redwoods. A pussy so big it’s got it’s own digestive system, that allows Jessica Simpson to eat double the ridiculously large amount of food she already consumes….

I am sure these pictures have already been plastered everywhere, but I’m not the kind of guy who does work uploading pictures to not post them, so enjoy them a second time around, since she’s not too fat to jerk off to.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Performing|Shorts

2009

26

Jan

Jessica Simpson Is Fat of the Day

34 Comments »

Jessica Simpson always had the tits of a fat chick, she was just never fat because she had the motivation and drive of a girl who wanted to make it, and she knew that no fat girls make it, so she traded the Texas BBQ for some LA rabbit food and a treadmill. I knew that her move back into country and her move back to Texas from the popstar life, was going to shape her into a new person, a nice fat new person. I guess you can’t fight genetics forever. So here are some pics of Jessica Simpson and her gunt to celebrate good ol’ southern cookin’.

She is a fuckin’ beast, it’s like Tony Romo did this to her because he wanted her to look more like a defensive line so he could actually get turned on when they fuck. She’s so fat, she even needs two fucking belts to keep her belly from dragging on the fucking ground and the whole thing fucking disgusts me.

Posted in:Jeans|Jessica Simpson|Performing

2008

14

Nov

Kellie Picker Performing of the Day

2 Comments »

Hey, Guess What? I’m not dead. I am just lazy. I figure why get up in the morning to entertain your assholes, while I can fuck around and entertain myself. It’s more fun.

Speaking of tits, here’s Kellie Pickler performing a song that she wrote herself. I was surprised that it was just her name over and over because it’s the only thing she knows how to spell, but maybe her grandaddy taught her more than just how to give a solid blowjob and not tell anyone about it.

Either way, here’s the video, because shitty country is a good way to remind you that despite it being Friday, the day every 9 to 5er is hard for, you know, waiting all week in excitement for this day to roll around, whistling around the office asking everyone what their weekend plans are, you sit at your desk depressed because you have no plans, not friends, and nothing to do with yourself. It’s just going to be like every weekend, where you just sleep in, the sit on your couch with takeout and dvds, wallowing in your own filth, waiting for Monday to roll around so you can at least interact with other humans again…fuck you TGIF for ruining my life.

Posted in:Kellie Pickler|Performing

2008

18

Aug

Kimberly Locke Performing in Her Underwear Video of the Day

6 Comments »

Here’s an older video of Kimberly Locke, some busty, fat chick who was on American Idol and hasn’t really done much since, except maybe for this Spring Break performance in what looks like a fat chick matching bra and panty set, but may be a fat chick bikini get up, but doesn’t matter because whatever it is is making me realize why I am scared of College Spring Break parties, and it’s not because of the herpes or mennigitis outbreaks, but more to do with for every hot chick showing off her pussy ready to get gangbanged while I watch, there’s 10 fat chicks drunk and letting loose and fat chicks are like the devil because despite not wanting to crawl up on them like they are a couch, it’s still fuckin’ hard to say no to them, not because they have you pinned down to the bed and you can’t move or breathe but because they are the easiest vagina being thrown in your face and that’s the kind of manipulative and abusive shit that fucks with your self esteem and you carry around with you for the rest of your life, making you unable to look at chicks the same way again about 3 seconds after you’re done. Either way, this is how I’m starting the week off. Enjoy.

Posted in:KImberly Locke|Performing|Underwear

2008

16

May

Girls Aloud Perform of the Day

2 Comments »

I said that Girls Aloud are useless and that no one gives a fuck about them, but after seeing this pictures I realized that I jumped the gun and didn’t realize that their performance is one that can be jerked off to.

Girls Aloud probably have one of the worst stripping acts out there, mainly because they don’t actually get naked and because they do it to the shittiest songs but the one thing they have going for them is Cheryl Tweedy Cole, who despite having the shittiest prison tattoos , she’s got it going on.

Someone told me to stay positive today, just not HIV positive because I am struggling with a horrible hangover from going to a bar that had a 50 dollar minimum for credit cards and my asshole friend only had a stolen credit card to fund our night so after the 2 beers for 2 dollars special, we each drank about 40 beers and I feel kinda dirty today, it’s not unlike other days because I always feel dirty but it’s also a Friday before a long weekend and I can only assume no one is reading this site, which is also not unlike other days, because no one every reads this site, so I guess I am just being a bitch.

Speaking of bitch, here’s my favorite UK performer performing.

Posted in:Girls Aloud|Performing

2007

22

Oct

I am – Beyonce in a Leotard of the Day

1 Comment »

I have said it before and I will say it again because I think that this message needs to get across to the public more than it already has and that is that I love leotards. They are one of the few pieces of clothing that touch the tits, ass and pussy at the same time and that’s more skills than you have. I know that isn’t saying much but it’s saying something.

I remember when I first got with a girl in the 90s who was wearing a bodysuit and since I never really spent all that much time with ballerinas and gymnasts, I didn’t know what the fuck to do when trying to get into her panties. I was like reaching down her pants and couldn’t find an entry point. Eventually I figured out that shit had snaps in the crotch and I worked my way in, too bad she was asleep, I am sure she would have loved it as much as I did.

That doesn’t change the fact that Beyonce is thick as fuck and should be running on the treadmill a little more than emotionally eating every time her boyfriend goes on tour with the younger/hotter model, but I still think she’s worth wallet fucking because this bitch is rich, even if her time to shine has left us and her future takes more of the shape of a fat Gospel singer. At least she’ll always have God on her side.

Related Posts:

Beyonce’s Tits Leaving a Party
Beyonce Tit Flash on Stage
Beyonce Ass in a Bathing Suit
Beyonce’s See Through Shirt

Posted in:Beyonce|Leotard|Performing|Unsorted

2007

19

Oct

I am – Hilary Duff’s Ass at the Latin Music Awards of the Day

10 Comments »

What can’t this girl do? She’s acting and she’s singing and running her stupid business and making all kind of money at least she knows that showing off her ass and panties while performing is good for business and leads to a lot more money that she probably doesn’t need, but who cares, because you get to jerk off to her.

We all like sluts and the only thing better than banging a slut is banging a slut with a boyfriend because a single slut could be out trying to live the empowered woman Sex in the City lifestyle and meaningless sex makes her feel like she’s got it going on, but a slut with a boyfriend, isn’t supposed to be a slut because she’s supposed to be hooked to her boyfriend, and making her break that code, proves that she’s got no self-control and under the bullshit lie that is her relationship is really a slut and making that happen is even more exciting than seeing a girl flashing her junk.

Point of all this is to say, that it’s nice to see that Hilary Duff showing the world that despite being cursed with a busted up horse face you can still make it, because she’s like the Phantom of the Opera and all it took was a slutty dress and a pair of black underwear to make it happen.

Related Posts:

Hilary Duff On Set “Acting” Pictures
Hilary Duff Eating Ice Cream
Hilary Duff Does stepTV
Hilary Duff Bikini Pictures

2007

19

Oct

I am – Hilary Duff's Ass at the Latin Music Awards of the Day

No Comments »

What can’t this girl do? She’s acting and she’s singing and running her stupid business and making all kind of money at least she knows that showing off her ass and panties while performing is good for business and leads to a lot more money that she probably doesn’t need, but who cares, because you get to jerk off to her.

We all like sluts and the only thing better than banging a slut is banging a slut with a boyfriend because a single slut could be out trying to live the empowered woman Sex in the City lifestyle and meaningless sex makes her feel like she’s got it going on, but a slut with a boyfriend, isn’t supposed to be a slut because she’s supposed to be hooked to her boyfriend, and making her break that code, proves that she’s got no self-control and under the bullshit lie that is her relationship is really a slut and making that happen is even more exciting than seeing a girl flashing her junk.

Point of all this is to say, that it’s nice to see that Hilary Duff showing the world that despite being cursed with a busted up horse face you can still make it, because she’s like the Phantom of the Opera and all it took was a slutty dress and a pair of black underwear to make it happen.

Related Posts:

Hilary Duff On Set “Acting” Pictures
Hilary Duff Eating Ice Cream
Hilary Duff Does stepTV
Hilary Duff Bikini Pictures

2007

15

Oct

I am – Kanye West Performing at Some In Touch Party of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some boring fucking pictures that I am posting because they were sent into the site from one of you and I am all for posting pictures that you send in because it means no one else has this shit, and in this case I literally mean shit. Not because of Kanye’s skin color, but because Kanye West performing at some In Touch party where he tried to get some groupie to rub his head and rolled in after rockin’ out with Maroon 5 at some other party so he apparently sucked and I don’t really give a fuck…. because he bores me.

Reality is that I am way more into seeing pictures of your girlfriend naked, showering, shaving her cooch, flashing her tits, wearing a bikini, than seeing some hip hop recording artist performing…but since I am slow fucking moving today, we’ll start the day with this and since you don’t have a girlfriend, we’ll prevent a lot of emails of girls you find on amateur sites that you pretend are your girlfriend because you think it will impress me and by a lot of emails I mean 1 email because I have no readers… Cuddles.

Related Posts:

White Kate Moss Topless
Pam Anderson’s Creepy Cleavage
Kanye West Freaks Out at the VMA’s
stepINTERVIEW with DJ A-Trak

Posted in:Kanye West|NYC|Performing|Unsorted

2007

05

Jun

I am – Brooke Hogan Performing of the Day

2 Comments »

Nothing says I am a piece of Florida trash that would have become a stripper if my dad let me because being a stripper has been my dream for my entire cheesy slut life that when I sit alone in my room I put on assless pants and pretend that I was rocking the pole until I realized that if I became a talentless hack of a popstar with my dad’s money funding my career, I can do my stripper routine in my assless pants on stage for lots of people to see that my fat ass is less fat than it was when I started to live my fucking dream. It’s actually a typical situation for a girl who no one wanted to fuck because they thought she was worth fucking, but instead fucked her because her dad is a fucking legend in the WWF, which may not be saying much, but I know some of you would still let Hulk Hogan give you a hot oil massage, not because you are gay, but because you are lonely and human touch is something you’re yearning for….Either way, always being second lead her to emotional eating that turned her fat until she realized that she could make a name for herself and started to hit the fucking treadmill and that is my theory on this slut.

Posted in:Ass|Brooke Hogan|Cameltoe|Performing|Unsorted

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