Crazy Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Crazy Category

2009

Dec

Shakira Performing Rockin’ The Mic of the Day

I think Shakira has lost her appeal in a big way, but that doesn’t mean she has. If you do a Youtube search, you’ll see that people still masturbate to her, at least I assume they do, because the only reason a video would get that many views is because a few motherfuckers spent at least a week goin back to that video for their orgasms.

I know that Shakira is cheating in this outfit by sneaking a pair of gold American Apparel shorts on under her dress so that she’s not flashing the world her panty covered twat, and I find the whole thing a serious fucking disappointment. As an immigrant in the industry, she should go that extra mile to make her stand out amongst the rest, for fear that she’d be sent back to cleaning hotel rooms or whatever else Columbian illegals do when they sneak into the country.

I also know that if the way she is rocking the mic is representing that way she gives head, you may want to tape your dick down, or she may just pull the fucking thing off, and by you I don’t actually mean you, because I know the chances of you banging Shakira are pretty much non-existent….but you get what I am saying…

Either way, less shorts, more pussy…even if these shorts are on to cover your padded Spanx that make her look like she’s got more of a booty than she actually does…..and here are the pics…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Crazy|Performing|Shakira

2009

Nov

Crazy Fucking Incest Story of the Day

3 Comments »

I have heard a lot of weird stories about incest.

From two farm kids who were brother and sister and who went to my High School who would both brag about how they fucked each other on the regular when their parents went to bed. They would go on about how fucking convenient it is living together becuase there’s always someone to bang and in high school I guess that’s a big deal.

I have heard about an 18 year old who bang used to bang his 13 year old younger cousins in front of his other cousins in some kind of weird family reunion orgy.

I have seen incest porn, heard a lot of family family sex, family molestation, but I’ve never heard of the father killing the fuckin teenage molester by stripping them fucking naked and shooting them in the fucking head. Making this the weirdest incest story ever.

Posted in:Crazy|Fucking|News|sex offender|Story

2009

Aug

Alice Dellal and her Crazy Outfit of the Day

4 Comments »

Her name is Alice Dellal and she’s a model from the UK with a lesbian haircut and lesbian outfit that’s supposed to be on some 70s or 80s punkrock shit, but looks more like bitch is cruisin’ the streets for a woman’s fist to shove in her pussy, and not so into the fuckin’ music. I think you call this look tryin’ a little too fuckin’ hard, but what do I know, I don’t get paid millions to model my ugly lesbian body down runways with the world’s latest fashions, I just know it looks disgusting in a herpes infested gutter slut, pussy smelling like feces and death because she let her pet rat crawl up in her to stay warm and before dying, he used her as the toilet she fuckin’ is, but again, what do I know….

Posted in:Alice Dellal|Crazy

2009

Jun

Courtney Love Lookin’ Fuckin’ Hot of the Day

6 Comments »

The thing I love about crazy chicks is that they are fuckin’ easy and don’t really know what the fuck they are doing when following you down a dark alley to go down on you and give you the best head of your life for free. The thing I don’t like about crazy chicks is the aids.

I spent the night with a girl who was drunk and going through some emotional distress, and in that distress decided to talk my ear off about the hardtimes, in the process she spilled 3/4 of her drink on me, which didn’t really phase me until she decided to feed me drink like I was a baby bird and I couldn’t resist because I never turn down free booze, so here I am having a girl put drink in her mouth then spit it in my mouth and here I am with this dirty backwash, from this crazy girl, thinkin’ shit like “Do I swallow?”, “Is this one sip worth potential disease”, “Why does it taste like cigarette and semen?”, “Why do I know what semen tastes like?”, “This is really a weird conversation with myself”, so I just swallowed and will keep you posted on whether I am dying…

Posted in:Courntey Love|Crazy|Hot

2009

May

Amy Winehouse is Crazy on the Beach of the Day

4 Comments »

Amy Winehouse was on the beach in whatever Caribbean island she’s been hiding out on the last 6 months and bitch is doing some stylish fucking walking. If only I had the confidence to bust these moves down the street without fear of being arrested and taken to the psych ward, I’d be the coolest fuckin’ guy around. Everyone would want to walk with me just to get a glimpse of the shit and soon it’d become an international phenomenon where people would craft their own crazy swagger. Shit would change the fucking world…kinda how Amy Winehouse is changing the world by proving that black dudes don’t only life fat blonde chicks, but they also like gutter crackwhore lookin’ bitches who are missing teeth as long as their bank accounts are fat like the blondes they typically try to fuck with. If you know what I mean.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Crazy

2009

Apr

A Little Alexis Arquette Weirdness of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s everyone’s favorite transgendered person giving props to Lindsay Lohan for her eHarmony Funny or Die shit. The good thing about this tranny is that she’s got some a pretty good sense of humor, I mean I guess you’d have to, and a solid set of legs, but shit’s still not working for me, the way it is probably working for you, but that’s just because you can’t come to terms with your homosexuality. Sure it may be obvious thing to say, but you’re really not fooling anyone, I know you sit in bed at night crying about that boy you work with, trying to make sense of the confusion, kinda like anyone who gets down Alexis Arquette’s panties.

I slept in, spent the night at a stripclub, the morning fighting with useless famous people’s kids on twitter, but I’m here now. Watch the video.

Posted in:Alexis Arquette|Crazy|Tranny|Weird

2009

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Got a See Through Shirt On…I think…of the Day

5 Comments »

I have been trying to reach out to Lohan’s people to get her to start doing product placements for my site, you know since she is always being shot by the paparazzi and on the news, she should start selling ad space on herself. You know 1,000,000 dollars for a week on her forehead, 2,000,000 for her cleavage and 50 cents for her pussy, because that’s what it’s worth on the street. But she never answered me, she was too busy wearing this see through shirt a money making opportunity she fucked up.

Posted in:Crazy|Lindsay Lohan|See Through|Uncategorized

2009

Feb

Lindsay Lohan is a Crazy Homeless Person of the Day

3 Comments »

As Lindsay Lohan walks around with a paper bag filled with her clothes, I can’t help but be reminded of all the other homeless people I’ve met over the years. You know, the people who keep their life in a suitcase, and by suitcase I mean garbage bag, always ready to relocate the second the police raid their tent village or the building they are squatting in. You know, the kind of whore who is dirty, addicted, malnourished, diseased, desperate to get by and willing to do pretty much anything, from bondage, to rape fetish, to lesbian sex with other homeless whores, anything to make a dollar. They are always mentally unstable, then I realized that Lindsay Lohan is pretty much homeless, she just squat’s at Ronson’s house, according to Paris Hilton, she is diseased, I mean at least with herpes, she is an addict, only a closet case white collar one, she looks malnourished, she’s desperate enough to stage lesbianism despite loving dick as much as she does, but most importantly, she’s fucking psycho, the only thing separating her from the street corner is a bank account with a lot more money in it that you or I have and a celebrity that although undeserved, is there.

Here are some pictures of Lohan with Ronson, because a Lohan Picture is not complete unless her soulmate is in them…They even made a Disney Movie about that shit, you know it was called Lilo and Her Snatch or some shit.

Bonus the Lilo and Snatch Sex Tape…

Posted in:Crazy|Homeless|Lindsay Lohan

2008

Dec

Paula Abdul Craziness on Letterman of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s some Paula Abdul craziness, because since that stalker killed herself in front of her house, Paula’s been jacked on more meds to deal with the pain than usual.

I love the way she keeps the Christmas spirit alive in a Latex Toy Soldier costume and militant walk and dance, makes me want to get a job working as a mall Santa, but not as much as I love when Dave starts drilling her about this stalker business, saying he should sue the stalker, probably not knowing the stalker killed herself, and Paula acts all kinds of fucking crazy stands up and tries to leave because she clearly has a lot of trouble dealing with things, like speaking. It’s hard after downing all them pills….

I heard she’s not sleeping in her house because she thinks it’s haunted and is putting it up for sale at a discount to get it off her hands, and since I am not a weak, rich, coddled little ex-popstar medicated baby with stalkers, I can’t really relate, but I do know some dude had an overdose in my hallway last week and I had to walk by his dead body to walk the dog when the paramedics were just getting there, and I did have to wrestle the dog off of him when he started trying to lick at his dead face because I don’t want dead druggy germs getting on my little fucker so I guess it’s kinda the same thing….or maybe it isn’t at all, but bitch needs to follow her face and body and grow the fuck up.

Stalkers killing themselves outside your house on the street isn’t a big fucking deal, people die outside my house every day, they are crazy people except for the one girl who was a rape victim, but I’m not talking about her, and I am not getting everyone to feel sorry for me. Abdul is too rich to care about the commoners so she needs to get the fuck over herself, stop being so fucking fragile.

Either way, I think this 1970 quality video is a good way to start the day a and that’s all that matters homeboy.

Posted in:Crazy|Letterman|Paula Abdul

2008

Dec

Youtube Video of the Day

1 Comment »

His name is: beebee890.
His Youtube Channel description is: me talking doing little blogs can crashes my just being me .
His interests: i like you tube.
His location: United States.
His psychological evaluation: He’s not crazy, he’s just retarded.

You gotta give youtube some credit, they’ve made a place where the local weirdo no one talks to can get an audience bigger than the one he’s used to at local public places he usually has his fits in. It’s taken focus off the real celebrities and allowed people with no shame to be known and laughed at by the world. I don’t really know if that’s a good thing, because I can only assume it leads to suicide, but it seems to make me and the rest of the world laugh at other people’s expense, without them actually knowing it, guilt-free, so instead of clenching our purses and crossing the street, we can see their episodes on repeat and even send them to our friends.

To See the Rest of His 1600 Videos
GO

Posted in:Crazy|Youtube