I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

31

Aug

I am – Kate Moss and Pete Doherty Pictures of the Day

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There are so many new picture sets out today and I am posting 3 day old pics. If you are wondering why, it is because I am a hack and keeping up with celebrity lives doesn’t really interest me, I only do it to get traffic. It’s really worked out amazing for me, I went from having 4 readers to 20, so a big fuck you goes out to my grade 10 teacher who told me I would be a failure because I knew nothing about business….well bitch, I am a failure but it’s got nothing to do with my business sense, it has to do with laziness, addiction and lack of self confidence. Speaking of addiction, here are some pics of the power couple, who I fucking love because she’s hot, he likes to party the way rockstars are supposed to party and I guess that’s pretty much the only reason I like them. They probably have some pretty interesting dates. Speaking of interesting dates, I was forced to take my wife out for our anniversary or someshit. See I get stepSENSITVE sometimes. When I told her I had 2 dollars to my name, she wasn’t all that impressed, so I took her to a luxury car dealership. I hadn’t showered and she’s onto moving around with a walker now, so I am sure walking in freaked the fuck out of the sales staff. When they asked me what I did for a living I said I was a dot com millionaire. They wouldn’t let me test drive the car, even after I told him my wife was dying and it was always her dream to drive around in a Luxury Sedan, but that could have been because I was drunk.

Which brings up my next point

stepRULE number 1: Never too broke for alcohol

How do you like stepRULES as a new feature? I know, it’s a fucking weak rule, I am just testing it out, just look at the pics you fucking assholes.

And some of Pete Doherty….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

30

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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Today is over by my standards. My traffic has gone to shit, you are obviously no telling your friends, my myspace hasn’t had a new message in 2 days, people are obviously starting to hate me. So this is the message I started sending out:

as i sit here in my dirty bed sheets with a mustard stained shirt and nicotine stained stubby fingers trying to muster up the energy to get up and take a pee, but decide that it takes too much energy, so I pee in the empty bottle by my bed, I think of you….

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are my useless stepLINKS that no one likes, I will admit that today’s aren’t as amazing as other days because I have to leave the computer for the night due to poverty

Is Haley Bennett Hot or Not ? GO

A Little Beyonce Nipple Hangin’ Out of Her Dress GO

Some Celebrity Pictures at the Toilet Museum GO

Funny Pictures Found on the Internet that aren’t Really that Funny to Me GO

Kari Sweets is a Non Nude Model and Here She is Washing the Clothes We Will Never See Her Take Off, That Made Sense to Me GO

Stepfather Site of the Day GO

Rap Music is Blamed for Teen Pregnancy, I Blame it For A lot More, Like the Fall of our Society GO

Aretha not Urethra Franklin is fucking HUGE, Bitch is Going to Die GO

Indian Telemarketer Talking to a Recorded Message. Brown People with Accents are Always Funny GO

This is a Really Funny Australian Article, Seriously Just Read It GO

Ebay is selling some Shit Trophy GO

Remember that bitch Emmalina who I made famous? Well Turns Out She Quit. I had to do with it as My Post on Her Put Her Over the Edge. I will publish those emails because I am a Jerk. GO

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2006

30

Aug

I am – Ashlee Simpson’s Ass of the Day

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I am out of money and it is not the first time, but it is always a pain in the ass when it is a couple days away from rent day, but I am not writing that for charity, I know none of you have money either otherwise we wouldn’t be the biggest group of dirtbags on the internet, we’d be classy and talking about politics and other shit that worldly people talk about. We wouldn’t be here talking about whether a site is kiddy porn or not or who gave Joe Simpson better blowjobs when they were 5 Ashlee or Jessica. That said, I took my last 20 dollars to the sandwich shop down the street because I was hungry. It cost 8 dollars, and I walked out without taking my change because I was having an anxiety attack. I am too lazy to go back and ask for my money I write this with 2 dollars to my name. Hopefully, the Simpson family will end up with 2 dollars to their name because desperate times means bitches will end up doing lesbian porn, together. This post fucking sucked.

Bonus: Jessics Simpson Pics Because She is the Sister


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

30

Aug

I am – Ashlee Simpson's Ass of the Day

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I am out of money and it is not the first time, but it is always a pain in the ass when it is a couple days away from rent day, but I am not writing that for charity, I know none of you have money either otherwise we wouldn’t be the biggest group of dirtbags on the internet, we’d be classy and talking about politics and other shit that worldly people talk about. We wouldn’t be here talking about whether a site is kiddy porn or not or who gave Joe Simpson better blowjobs when they were 5 Ashlee or Jessica. That said, I took my last 20 dollars to the sandwich shop down the street because I was hungry. It cost 8 dollars, and I walked out without taking my change because I was having an anxiety attack. I am too lazy to go back and ask for my money I write this with 2 dollars to my name. Hopefully, the Simpson family will end up with 2 dollars to their name because desperate times means bitches will end up doing lesbian porn, together. This post fucking sucked.

Bonus: Jessics Simpson Pics Because She is the Sister


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

30

Aug

I am – Lohan Shopping of the Day

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I am watching Oprah right now, because I don’t have a job and this is what unemployed people with no cable do. It is about some fat bitch who used to weigh 500 lbs. She just started talking about how her vagina was HANGING between her legs amongst rolls of fat. Like most people who watch Oprah, I got inspired, only it wasn’t to get off my ass, it was to do a Lohan post, because whenever I hear people talk about fat hanging cunt, I think Lohan.

This fat bitch on Oprah is reading a grade 3 level poem she wrote her Jew Plastic surgeon (he’s got the jew hat on), which reminded me of a message I sent to Zach Braff, a Jew. I have yet to hear a response.

Dear Zach,

i run the coolest fucking site on the internet and i want you to do a stepINTERVIEW. Don’t be a pussy and support the underdog (me).

I loved you in Schindler’s List.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com


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2006

30

Aug

I am – Uma Thurman is a Fucking Man of the Day

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I was told that I turn people off because of my perversion. I was told that I am boring, repetitive and my sexually charged comments are getting old and tired like your dick from all the jerking off. Wouldn’t it be nice to slide it into something soft and moist. This all started when I told one girl on my IM that I jerked off thinking about her but couldn’t cum and that she’d need to send me some pics to redeem herself. What I didn’t tell these girls is that I don’t jerk off because I can’t get hard, I was just pretending I jerked off to her and she couldn’t make me cum. I don’t think that’s perverted, perverted would have been if I hid in her bathroom closet and watched her take a shit. I don’t think I am boring and repetitive, I think making someone feel uncomfortable by telling them that I jerk off thinking of them is next level creepy comedy. It’s something I like to call my own. What is boring a repetitive and does make me feel uncomfortable are these pictures of Uma Thurman, she’s got more penis than me, which isn’t saying much other than long hair doesn’t make a woman and it is probably saying something a lot about his husband.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

30

Aug

I am – Paraguayan Tits of the Day

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I like to think I cater to the needs of an international, diverse audience. That is why I write in broken english, I make racial slurs and I lack respect for all cultures. That is also probably why I have about 10 readers a day, even though I started before 85% of the other celebrity sites that are featured on MTV. But I am making moves to take over the internet, motherfuckers, it’s my time to shine. So today I took down the porn banner along the left side of the site and I also added some pretty sexy FEATURES to the site and most important of all, I am posting an email from a Paraguyan reader, because if I can’t be big in the USA, next stop is Paraguay.

These are photos and videos that people used to send me to post at www.mambonegro.com is an paraguayan website

There are 2 paraguayan famous models that have their pics on cel phone camera.

One is Helen Roux

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Here is the Other Celina Gracia she is kinda
paraguayan paris hilton, but nobody know paraguay so nobody knows she.

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Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

30

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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Hey people, this is one of my readers, this is the email he sent, it’s long so I am not going to make further commentary on the people who come to this site, I’ll let you figure it out on your own, but let me pretend that’s you’re all something fierce and not virgins in their mom’s basement….

I saw Kelly Monaco on FOX News this morning and jerked off all over my television set. …

Hey Friend, I got the above information while doing a search for some help. As you can see below I’m trying to get a photo of Kelly in “that very short dress” she had on during the interview on Fox and Friends last week. WOW! I have made contacts to Fox but get no reply concerning a PHOTO, I also sent request to other locations, but nothing yet. Fox does have the replay “video” but I’m really trying to get a still photo. Do you have one or know where I can go to get one. Man, just like the person said above on your search site, it made my blood run hot also. Below is some sites that I have made attempts with but no luck so far. Any ideas will be greatly appreciated, I have a picture frame waiting to find a photo (this photo) of Kelly in that very short outstanding dress with those fantastic legs. I already have a lot of photos of her but this one is the one I’d like to hang on my wall. Much appreciated and take care. Your reply will be greatly appreciated. Jimmy

*Below sent to Fox and Friends*

Hi, the above is an interview with Kelly Monaco that was on “Fox and Friends” the week of August 21st – 25 of 2006; I think it was actually on the morning of the 23rd but not certain. My question is concerning your web page does have the video of this interview but no still photos. I’m interested in knowing if there are any still photos of the interview? I went to a site known as “TVHEADS.COM” and they did have photos of the Anchor people but nothing showing up for the actual interview with Kelly Monaco. Are any photos available for viewing from Fox or do you know of any other outside sites than may have photos of this interview. The video is fine but trying to track down a still photo. Much appreciated and I look forward to your reply. May I wish you a great day filled with joy and many blessings. Take care! Jimmy

Hey People, These are my links, Click them if you get a chance, send in some if you’re interested in being linked on the coolest site on the internet.


Tara Reid Gets Rejected From A Club that Paris and Her Armenian Arm Candy Cunt of a Friend Walk Right into…..One of the Funnier Moments in Celebrity Paparazzi Video Clips. GO

Maria Menounos is Greek and Like All Greeks, Bitch takes it in the Batty GO

Bronques/Last Night’s Party/ Some Alabama Blue Gums Who Stole His Neighbor’s Camera and Started Taking Pics of Dirty Hipster Sluts who don’t have dads, This One Takes Place on the Train to Montreal. I don’t know why I help this cocksucker get famous, his pics aren’t even good. GO
Victoria Beckham Her Boys and The Source of the her tits, I wrote a breast feeding joke but realized that this bitch probably hired some mexican worker to breast feed for her…

The Bastardly Does Jessica Biel, Lots of Hot Pics, Faggots GO

StepMUSIC of the Day: Citizen Cope GO

Megacolon should be a Gay Action Figure and Not a Disease GO

Some obnoxious queen that Perez Hilton Links thinks my name is James GO

I don’t know who the fuck Amanda Lewis is But this is Her Nip Slip GO

The Old Charlie Angels on a Reader’s Site GO

Here are a few pics of some amateur who got a little excited with her camera, but not excited enough GO

The weirdest fire coming out of a dick Movie Poster of All Time GO

I don’t Know if this Jesus Baptist Oral Sex Warning is Real or Just a Joke but I Do Know That Extreme Christians are Fucking Insane so it Could be Real GO

I Want to Stick It in Kristin Cavallari’s Ass, and By It I Mean The Used Vibrator Some Bitch Sent Me Cuz She Loved the Site, Shits Still Got Her Cunt Crust On It GO

STD Defenders 2000 a Video Game to Teach Kids How To Fight STDS. Abstinence is the Best Thing To Practice GO

Lindsay Lohan, The Unprofessional Disaster of a Spoiled Piece of Shit Sends Her Friends Sex Toys GO

Here is a mildly disturbing moment in porn, I don’t think it’s all that bad GO

Below are some links from the people at I Saw Your Nanny GO

Eminen attacks playboy playmate
Kendra Miller

Sienna Miller
used to be a bikini model

Tara Reid
chews with her mouth open

Stace Keibler has a nice ass

Jessica
Simpson has lipstick on her beaver teeth

I couldn’t get my lips around this

Mexican Chic of the Day

Need some ideas on how to
humiliate your sub?

Consensual Slave Contract

My favorite Pro Ana page

John Mark Carr’s quashed arrest
warrant

Bored? These Ladies HATE board
infiltraters

ADD ME TO MYSPACE ALREADY YOU FUCKERS GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Aug

I am – Making That Girl Famous of the Day

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I use myspace as a place for me to warm up and get inspiration for content. Sometimes I send people really stupid/bad/not funny myspace messages to see what their reaction is. It helps me refine the garbage you read here daily. This girl despite looking 7 is actually 22 and she’s never heard of the site before, so I decided to do a post on her, so that she’ll never forget us and by us I mean me.

This is one of the weaker messages that I randomly sent her:

remember our first kiss?

I am sure you don’t

I got you nice and date raped up

Only I never took you on a date…

Read my site…it’s pretty famous.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

This was her response:

its famous?

really? cause ive never heard of it or you.

except for that youre a creep.

I am not going to go into how bitch’s answer made no fucking sense at all, but I am going to ask all of you to send her myspace messages of love letting her know that this site does exist and creep or not, so do I.

This is a link to her Myspace GO

I think that warrants a “I just made you famous, Bitch!”

Posted in:stepFAME|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

29

Aug

I am – Heidi Klum Does All The Work While Seal Watches of the Day

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Seal was photographed watching Heidi Klum, who is already knocked up with his second baby, load the stroller in the car. I guess dude’s got the biggest fucking dick or something because he’s already knocked her up 2 times in the last year and he’s making her work her pregnant ass of while taking care of their first baby’s needs. I know she’s German, and German’s are pretty fucking intense when it comes to work ethic and regimented discipline, proven by the Nazis in the ’30s, but this isn’t a fucking history lesson. This is a lesson in knowing how to fuck your bitch right and never having to pick up a finger. It is also a lesson that babies are a lot of work, work a black man may not be willing to undertake. Heidi Klum is Way Hardcore. Motherfuckers.


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