I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

19

Jul

I am – Jessica Simpson New Video of the Day

I didn’t watch it…but you can do it for me. I have something against watching videos and it’s called a short attention span. I went to th doctor today and I have been diagnosed with Asthma. I am pretty sure that it’s really lung cancer, dude just doesn’t realize it anymore. I don’t expect you to care about my ailments, but I want you to know I went to a John Clese press conference. Dude was in Monty Python and Fawlty Towers, two shows I never watched. If you are wondering why I went, it’s because I heard there was free coffee. There wasn’t.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfahter.com

I guess there’s not real reason to sing off on each post. I am not going to delete it. Discuss.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Jul

I am – Naomi Watts Bikini Pics of the Day

I don’t really have anything to say about this slag, because I am too lazy to IMDB her to find out who she is and these bikini pics are pretty weak and not really deserving of a post. I will post them anyway and we’ll leave it at that.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Jul

I am – Some Throwback Micha Barton Nipple of the Day

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I get shit on for ripping off other sites, when I don’t even get my pics, but people love to complain that I am not first on anything. I would like to say that of course I am not first on this shit. It is fucking summer and I am not hooked up with exclusive sources cuz I suck at life. I would also like to say that I had no computer the last 4 days, so even if I didn’t suck at life, I wouldn’t be able to post these pics. I am not explaining myself, I know I am the captain of a sinking ship, and I am okay with that. Almost as the time I offered two french whores with cleavage tattoos and who dressed like J-Lo and looked like Rosie O’Donnel a french fry while they sipped a Heineken in some dive bar i was in. When they pretended to not see me with the french fry, I went back with the ketchup. When they continued to pretend a dirty mexican wasn’t standing in front of them with a french fry in one hand and jar of ketchup in the other, I tell them that they look like they really like to eat french fries, they ignore me so I go on stage and sing Eternal Flame by the Bangles cuz that’s just how I role. Point of the story is that their is no point of the story. That was deep wasn’t it. I am a fucking philosopher. Now dis me for how slow I am on pics.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Jul

I am – Kid Rock’s Useless Box of the Day

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Kid Rock is marrying Pam Anderson. That’s the story I heard. I can explain the logic behind this move if you want to hear it. Which you don’t because I have about 10 readers while other sites are rockin’ over 100,000 readers a day, I guess that makes me a failure, but I am going to tell you this Kid Rock theory because it’s fucking golden.

When a girl you are raw doggin’ gives you herpes, it’s in your best interest to stick it out with her, because it’s such a pain in the ass telling new girls about your herpes and they are never fully comfortable suckin’ on your dick, they’ll always hold back a bit and you don’t want the shit. Especially when you had a slut who got herpes in your back pocket. I guess the same goes of AIDS, HIV, Hepatitis and even HPV, but everyone’s got HPV….so I guess that one doesn’t count.

That means if you’ve fucked a dirty little ditch pig and slut gave you a lifelong rash…or a gift that keeps giving, marry her, that’s what Kid Rock is doing and Kid Rock is someone we should all be using as an example to live our lives by. Especially back in the dead midget make a wish foundation years. Now go fuck yourself.

More Pictures of Pamela Anderson:

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Jul

I am – Kid Rock's Useless Box of the Day

Picture-62.jpg

Kid Rock is marrying Pam Anderson. That’s the story I heard. I can explain the logic behind this move if you want to hear it. Which you don’t because I have about 10 readers while other sites are rockin’ over 100,000 readers a day, I guess that makes me a failure, but I am going to tell you this Kid Rock theory because it’s fucking golden.

When a girl you are raw doggin’ gives you herpes, it’s in your best interest to stick it out with her, because it’s such a pain in the ass telling new girls about your herpes and they are never fully comfortable suckin’ on your dick, they’ll always hold back a bit and you don’t want the shit. Especially when you had a slut who got herpes in your back pocket. I guess the same goes of AIDS, HIV, Hepatitis and even HPV, but everyone’s got HPV….so I guess that one doesn’t count.

That means if you’ve fucked a dirty little ditch pig and slut gave you a lifelong rash…or a gift that keeps giving, marry her, that’s what Kid Rock is doing and Kid Rock is someone we should all be using as an example to live our lives by. Especially back in the dead midget make a wish foundation years. Now go fuck yourself.

More Pictures of Pamela Anderson:

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Jul

I am – Sofia Vergara is the Mexican of the Day

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I have been fighting with the fake Lohan all day. I don’t know if I brought that up today. I lost the response I sent her, but shit was fucking golden. This is the last reply she sent me:

From SKEEZ

hah wow, you’re a fucking cunt
this is me so fuck off, you really need a hobby oh wait you have one stalking me. do me a favor stop stalking me and trash talking me when you don’t know me, i’m not a fucking slut and my body is just fine hunny. no wonder a cunt like you dosn’t have a girlfriend or friends. i have nothing against filipinos nor am i racists and i find it cute that you are going to say shit about filipinos or any race for that matter, grow up cunt. don’t talk to me i didn’t ask for you to speak to me or start shit with me but before you start making accusations and saying shit about someone or people get your fucking facts straight.

All I said to her was that I knew she wasn’t the real Lohan and that she was a Filipino 14 year old. Anyway, I am posting this in the Sofia Vergara post because Mexican Bitches are the new Filipino’s when it comes to cleaning apartments/hotel rooms/ homes.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Jul

I am – Jessica Biel’s Bra,Tits and Slutty Tattoo of the Day

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I was told that the reason I am fun to hang around is because I am weird. I took offense to that shit. I am fun to hang around because I am the coolest motherfucker on the Internet and Internet is life (when you have no friends). I like to think of myself as a normal person and the reason I am called weird is because suburban people hate that I don’t have a job, because having a career fucking sucks. I can barely get by, but at least I can spend my days sitting on a park bench watching 7 year olds play in a wading pool near my house. I don’t do it cuz I am into 7 year olds, I do it because I love fucking with the parents. The world is so fucking paranoid and seeing a sleazy mexican in sunglasses and soiled jogging pants always sets off their alarms. I guess fucking with people is what I do for a job I don’t get paid for, because I also love inappropriately touching people’s dogs. I don’t anything illegal to the dog, I just ask the owner what the dogs name is and start heavy petting until they ask me to stop. It’s always a laugh.

Speaking of laughs, check out this cunt’s bra. Bra’s are always funny when you are in grade 4. Cuddles.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2006

19

Jul

I am – Jessica Biel's Bra,Tits and Slutty Tattoo of the Day

Picture-35.jpg

I was told that the reason I am fun to hang around is because I am weird. I took offense to that shit. I am fun to hang around because I am the coolest motherfucker on the Internet and Internet is life (when you have no friends). I like to think of myself as a normal person and the reason I am called weird is because suburban people hate that I don’t have a job, because having a career fucking sucks. I can barely get by, but at least I can spend my days sitting on a park bench watching 7 year olds play in a wading pool near my house. I don’t do it cuz I am into 7 year olds, I do it because I love fucking with the parents. The world is so fucking paranoid and seeing a sleazy mexican in sunglasses and soiled jogging pants always sets off their alarms. I guess fucking with people is what I do for a job I don’t get paid for, because I also love inappropriately touching people’s dogs. I don’t anything illegal to the dog, I just ask the owner what the dogs name is and start heavy petting until they ask me to stop. It’s always a laugh.

Speaking of laughs, check out this cunt’s bra. Bra’s are always funny when you are in grade 4. Cuddles.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Unsorted

2006

19

Jul

I am – Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Fat Ass of the Day

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I saw a couple of Black guys walking out of a Chinese restaurant today. One was on his cell phone. I heard him say that his name was T Little. He got into a 100,000 dollar mercedes. What do you think he does for a living?

I will give you a hint. We have no professional sports here. We have no famous black actors from here. We have no famous rappers from here. Maybe he’s a doctor.

While you think about it, you can look at pics of J-Love shopping for some food to feed her fat ass. Pig.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

19

Jul

I am – Jennifer Love Hewitt's Fat Ass of the Day

Picture-23.jpg

I saw a couple of Black guys walking out of a Chinese restaurant today. One was on his cell phone. I heard him say that his name was T Little. He got into a 100,000 dollar mercedes. What do you think he does for a living?

I will give you a hint. We have no professional sports here. We have no famous black actors from here. We have no famous rappers from here. Maybe he’s a doctor.

While you think about it, you can look at pics of J-Love shopping for some food to feed her fat ass. Pig.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted