When you are from a piece of shit home in Texas and you are first generation Mexican American, you usually grow up with very little luxury items. You don’t get too many pairs of Nike’s when dad works in lawn maintenance for some Mexican landscaping company. If you are a poor Mexican, you probably have never seen a pair of Nike’s in your fucking life, and if you do it was in the department store or on your friend’s drug dealing gang bangin’ dad. Point of the story is that now that Longoria’s got money, she’s rockin’ Nike’s because she can. To most people Nike’s are standard fare, to Mexicans like Longoria they are like a Luxury Yacht for her feet.

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When you are from a piece of shit home in Texas and you are first generation Mexican American, you usually grow up with very little luxury items. You don’t get too many pairs of Nike’s when dad works in lawn maintenance for some Mexican landscaping company. If you are a poor Mexican, you probably have never seen a pair of Nike’s in your fucking life, and if you do it was in the department store or on your friend’s drug dealing gang bangin’ dad. Point of the story is that now that Longoria’s got money, she’s rockin’ Nike’s because she can. To most people Nike’s are standard fare, to Mexicans like Longoria they are like a Luxury Yacht for her feet.

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I am all for a bitch having a life defined by the fame of her father. It never really pissed me off seeing kids of rich successful people running around on their daddy’s dime. I always wanted to get in good with them so that I could manipulate them into financing my lifestyle and taking me on vacations and to VIP rooms and shit. The closest I ever got to that was when I was hanging with the son of one of the guys in Pink Floyd who was here because he was tired of being a big deal in the UK. Either way, I became friends with him, hung out at his penthouse apartment and took him out. The only problem was that motherfucker was on a limited budget and wouldn’t ever buy me a fucking thing. I was spending more money on him that he was on me in efforts to get the big payout. It never came. All stories aside, it’s nice to see Nicole Richie working again, I am sure it was a pretty hard audition, considering this is daddy’s music video, or what I like to call an excuse to give his baby more than he already has.

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I am all for a bitch having a life defined by the fame of her father. It never really pissed me off seeing kids of rich successful people running around on their daddy’s dime. I always wanted to get in good with them so that I could manipulate them into financing my lifestyle and taking me on vacations and to VIP rooms and shit. The closest I ever got to that was when I was hanging with the son of one of the guys in Pink Floyd who was here because he was tired of being a big deal in the UK. Either way, I became friends with him, hung out at his penthouse apartment and took him out. The only problem was that motherfucker was on a limited budget and wouldn’t ever buy me a fucking thing. I was spending more money on him that he was on me in efforts to get the big payout. It never came. All stories aside, it’s nice to see Nicole Richie working again, I am sure it was a pretty hard audition, considering this is daddy’s music video, or what I like to call an excuse to give his baby more than he already has.

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I am pretty sure thsis has been floating around for a while. I am pretty sure that I have already posted it. But when I see a russian dirtbag in the tackiest sheer underwear her rubles can buy, I have no choice to post it. I guess the funny thing about being russian, other than the whole waiting in line for rationed bread thing, is that they are about 15 years too late on all trends. That means that if you were frequenting strip clubs in 1991, you’d probably see a slag in a pair of these. That’s the end of this post.

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I am pretty sure thsis has been floating around for a while. I am pretty sure that I have already posted it. But when I see a russian dirtbag in the tackiest sheer underwear her rubles can buy, I have no choice to post it. I guess the funny thing about being russian, other than the whole waiting in line for rationed bread thing, is that they are about 15 years too late on all trends. That means that if you were frequenting strip clubs in 1991, you’d probably see a slag in a pair of these. That’s the end of this post.

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I just woke up. It is 3 pm. It was 100 fucking degrees out last night and probably a lot hotter in my bed because of my whore wife, as you all know, is a fucking furnace…Either way, the best way to start my day is by looking at some hipster photography, I’ll admit that I was into Terry Richardson, before the American Apparel stores started ripping him off. I was never really into LastNightsParty or Cobrasnake, but I post links to those motherfuckers anyway, because I like seeing what hipsters do while jacked on coke. I will admit that I never really knew that Merkley was a photographer, I just thought he was the mass murderer on Raymi the Minx’s myspace top 8. Well it turns out that he takes pictures and they are cooler than you, virgin.

Check Him Out on Myspace HERE
Check Out His Flickr Gallery HERE

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Based on this video, brown people have genitals too, and I am not talking my type of brown, I am talking people from Singapore brown. This was sent in to me from one of my readers who told me that this has been going around her group of friends and the bitch in the video is loving the attention, so I figured I would contribute to her bad girl image and help a girl who’s dad owns a convenience store reach the fame she deserves. You may think I am being a racist, but I am not, I would totally fuck this bitch while her grey dicked boyfriend watched. But since I am impotent and live in the real part of the world, it’ll never happen.

Bitch has a blog, check it out here

To See Her Personal Pics Go HERE

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I didn’t sleep that much last night because I do that sometime, and I was rockin’ the shit out of Flickr. I probably found a bunch of shit you have already seen but that’s not really important to me, because I realize that this is a blog and a blog is a very personal experience. If I didn’t link you up, you’re going to have to email me and remind me because whether or not you know this, I am drunk. Cuddles.

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Courtney Cox has middle child syndrome. For those of you who don’t know what that is, which is probably most of you, because you are all semi retarded. Someone told me that half my traffic was coming from the computer room at some retard center in Oakland. One of my readers was an orderly there and used to get all the water heads clickin’ the mouse. But that’s got nothing to do with what I wanted to say….what I wanted to say was that middle child syndrome is when the middle child in a family of 3 kids feels like the loser of the family. The oldest is the oldest and the youngest is the baby of the family, and the middle child is the dirty diaper no one bothered to throw out, at least that’s how they feel. The reason Cox is the middle child is because she wasn’t the sexy one on friends, and she wasn’t the ugly one, she was somewhere in the middle, or what I call the grey area, which explains why she married an Arquette. Do you realize they have a tranny in the family? I know that may turn some of you sick fucks on. When I worked at the porn company I was told that “straight” guys bought 95% of tranny porn. Think about that one. Asshole.

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