There is nothing more pathetic than watching some used-to-be fat guy clutch onto the first girl who showed him the time of day and helped him avoid being a washed up DJ from Crazytown by getting him booked at her dad’s celebrity friends’ birthday parties. He now gets 20,000 dollars a gig.

It is a lot more pathetic when the girl he is clutching onto is Nicole Richie, an ex-needle sharing heroin addict who fucked half of her dealers and any other guy with a penis, because let’s face it, penis made her feel some self-worth.

Bitch will never respect a motherfucker who thinks she’s a fucking goddess and who runs after her like her pussy is made of chocolate, because she hates herself and only wants to land guys who hate her too.

She’s the kind of girl who you give a fake name to and bang with 2 rubbers at her house (so she doesn’t find out where you live).

This is all speculation of course, as I have no insiders, cuz you’re all a bunch of unemployed virgins. Thanks for reading. Cunts.

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I have to spend the afternoon in court, so I won’t be back until later on tonight. So if you’re reading this, come back later, I may have some new stuff up….I never said that it would be good new stuff…just that it would be new.

Paris Hilton tried to start shit with my girl LOHAN again. So if anyone reading this knows Paris, be sure to cunt-punch the slut. I am not sure if she’s got any feeling left in her mound, you know after all the burn wounds, but at least she’ll know we’re trying to get her in her money maker (cuz she’s a slut).

That’s the story I heard.

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I hate the way this link dump looks. There’s got to be a better way to do this. Check out the links and send in some links if you got any,click the envelope at the top of the page, it’s just that complicated.

Here are the StepLINKS:

Agent Provocateur Has Lingerie You can Masturbate to – GO –

Howard Stern on Letterman in 1988 – GO –

Toni Braxton Flashing More Panty – GO –

Nerds Make Me Laugh (You’d Probably Like Banging Some Of These) – GO-

Melissa Midwest Shows Her Box Video – GO –

Star Catcher is Funny, They Stand Outside Clubs With A Camera – GO –

If you Haven’t Seen Tera Patrick’s Box, They are Here – GO –

Sarah Connor’s Cameltoe (I love Toe) – GO –

Teen Lesbian Birthday Parties are Hotter than any party I’ve ever had – GO –

Attu Likes Jenna Jameson Enough to Post a Picture Set of her Naked – GO –

A Bunch of Christina Aguilera Pics For you To Love – GO –

So You Think You Can Do a Backflip (idiot) – GO –

You getting laid used to pay for my server, now you don’t get laid – GO –

My MySpace For You to Add Me – GO –

Charlie Laine rides the Sybian – GO –

To See Charlie Laine’s Porn Via AskJolene – GO –

Party Girls Bore the Fuck Out of Me, You probably Love ‘Em – GO –

Tattoo of the Day – GO –

Street Art of the Day – Mark Jenkin’s In DC – GO –

Last Night Party at some Canada Event – Steve Has Banged All of These Girls – GO –

I want these fuckers to advertise on my site and The Descendents used to be My Fav Band – GO – (CLICK LIKE CRAZY)

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I am sitting at the coffee shop after realizing that i couldn’t get any fucking work done with my whore of a wife always chewing her fucking Rice cakes seasoned like chips. She is trying to watch her weight, probably cuz I constantly tell her she’s too fat to fuck. She doesn’t realize that it defeats the purpose when you eat 4 bags of them in one sitting, but she’s french, it’s not so easy to explain this to her.

I am next to 5 baby mommas, who have some kind of “We all went to highschool, college, university together” relationship…you know the whole “We’re 27, let’s all get married to our long term boyfriends making sure our wedding is way better than sally’s last month” kinda of thing…the “Sally’s pregnancy at 30 and we can’t let her upstage us so we should get pregnant too, that way we’ll all be on maternity leave together and our babies can grow up being the best of friends and we will compare them our entire lives. You know from the first time they walk, speak, dance, go to school, right up until they establish their careers get married and have their own kids to compare and we will never get a break from each other until one of us dies in a horrible car accident, or runs off with some spanish tennis pro leaving the babies and the husband behind after realizing that this life choice was the wrong one”.

They are also all talking and laughing about their babies and how great they are and one of the sluts, yes SLUTS, she did get knocked up after all, is breast feeding. I can’t see nipple – but trust me I am trying…..

Speaking of breasts and sluts, here’s some pics of Jenna at some event recently. Her tits are nothing to get all that impressed by, if you want a set of your own, all you need is 5,000 dollars….being envious of her tits is like being envious of some 16 year old’s 1999 Jetta (I think they sell for around 5,000 dollars).

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I am sitting at the coffee shop after realizing that i couldn’t get any fucking work done with my whore of a wife always chewing her fucking Rice cakes seasoned like chips. She is trying to watch her weight, probably cuz I constantly tell her she’s too fat to fuck. She doesn’t realize that it defeats the purpose when you eat 4 bags of them in one sitting, but she’s french, it’s not so easy to explain this to her.

I am next to 5 baby mommas, who have some kind of “We all went to highschool, college, university together” relationship…you know the whole “We’re 27, let’s all get married to our long term boyfriends making sure our wedding is way better than sally’s last month” kinda of thing…the “Sally’s pregnancy at 30 and we can’t let her upstage us so we should get pregnant too, that way we’ll all be on maternity leave together and our babies can grow up being the best of friends and we will compare them our entire lives. You know from the first time they walk, speak, dance, go to school, right up until they establish their careers get married and have their own kids to compare and we will never get a break from each other until one of us dies in a horrible car accident, or runs off with some spanish tennis pro leaving the babies and the husband behind after realizing that this life choice was the wrong one”.

They are also all talking and laughing about their babies and how great they are and one of the sluts, yes SLUTS, she did get knocked up after all, is breast feeding. I can’t see nipple – but trust me I am trying…..

Speaking of breasts and sluts, here’s some pics of Jenna at some event recently. Her tits are nothing to get all that impressed by, if you want a set of your own, all you need is 5,000 dollars….being envious of her tits is like being envious of some 16 year old’s 1999 Jetta (I think they sell for around 5,000 dollars).

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Last month, I was told about the Much Music Video Awards and in trying to give DrunkenStepSteve something useful to do in his hometown of TORONTO, where this useless event is taking place, I tried to get him Media Access. Upon further investigation I found that they were DESPERATE for decent bands/presenters/hosts/etc, because the world realizes they are a piece of shit operation. Not to mention the fact that MTV opened up shop in CANADA and has exclusives on a lot of bands because let’s face it, MUCH MUSIC is the piece of bloody shit MTV had after a night of to drinking that just won’t flush down the toilet. I hate shit analogies, but point is without MTV there woulda never been MUCH, a cheap useless Canadian copy site.

When I found out that PEREZ HILTON, my favorite Celebrity Blogger Gay to laugh at, was Hosting. I decided to email them again to remind them about my media request.

This is what they had to say to me:

Hi Jesus,

Thank you for your interest in The 2006 MuchMusic Video Awards.

Regrettably, due to the high volume of media requests and space restrictions we will not be able to accredit you for this event.

We will contact you by June 16th @ 5pm ET if there’s an opportunity for you to attend.

So I decided to write them a response.

Dear Stephanie,

I am shocked that an organization such as Much Music and CHUMTV would be guilty of RACISM.

I run a celebrity blog like PEREZ HILTON’s, only I am actually funny, but that’s not the point. The point is that I am a MEXICAN CANADIAN (By Marriage), and your organization can’t even get me PRESS PASSES, while you get PEREZ airfare, hotel and a slot presenting an award at your event in some kind of Pink Suit.

I am not really shocked that Much Music a white-bread, middle of the road, Canadian piece of shit network would do something like this. You BOOK the gay white guy from LA to present your third rate production award show, and you can’t even give a MEXICAN CANADIAN a fucking MEDIA PASS.

Are you guys scared the other WHITE PEOPLE in attendance will get nervous when they see a Mexican in the room.

Point of the fucking story is that I was not even going to attend the event, I was going to be sending a 22 year old white kid to cover it. Now, it’s clear that your event doesn’t deserve any more attention from me.

I know it’s not your fault Stephanie, you are just the intern they hire to send out the rejection letters. I blame that RACIST CUNT boss of yours, Gabrielle and I have Cced her on this email, because I feel she should know that I am onto her horrible management skills and poor decision making skills.

I have also Bced the CEO of CHUM Limited, Jay Switzer in regards to the way this sitution was handled.

Let’s hope the right people get FIRED for this (Gabrielle)

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

I will admit I was a little angry, and when angry I automatically blame racism, I shouldn’t have called the PR person a CUNT. That was wrong of me. Now here are some pics of J.Lo and Mark Anthony at the Peurto Rican Day Parade a little Latin Pride on a day my Latin roots got me left out of the party, again….

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Billy Talent is a band my step-daughter can’t get enough of. I have heard there first album over and over and over and over and over. Last year or the year before she dragged me out to one of their shows and I had a good time checking out 15 year old girls who had crushes on the band and the 18- 25 year old girls who were there in hopes of sleeping with the band. It’s funny how girls never really change, they just get sluttier/start spreading their legs for those said crushes.

This year, she’s still a fan and she begged me to do a post on them, because her friend said we’d get free Warped tour tickets.

I like the Warped Tour and I worked it the first year. I helped build the ramps and got to watch the show for free, this was 9 or 10 years ago, when I was really diggin’ some of the bands who played. I guess that’s not all that interesting for you, but I like to embrace the memories I still have, most have been washed away by the bottle. Sad story.

Check Out Billy Talent’s New Website

Check Out Billy Talent’s New Video – Devil in a Midnight Mass

And These are the Warped Tour Dates they are playing

JULY
22 Salt Lake City, UT Utah State Fair Park
23 Denver, CO Invesco Field
25 St. Louis, MO UMB Bank Pavilion
26 Cincinnati, OH Riverbend Music Center
27 Pittsburgh, PA Post Gazette Pavilion
28 Indianapolis, IN Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
29 Detroit, MI Comerica Lot
30 Tinley Park, IL First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre

AUGUST
1 Darien Center, NY Darien Lake PAC
2 Fitchburg, MA Fitchburg Airport
3 Philadelphia, PA Tweeter Center at the Waterfront
4 Scranton, PA Toyota Pavilion
5 Uniondale, NY Nassau Coliseum
6 Old Bridge, NJ Englishtown Raceway
8 Charlotte, NC Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Lot
9 Virginia Beach, VA Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Lot
10 Bristow, VA Nissan Pavilion @ Stone Ridge
11 Cleveland, OH Tower City Amphitheatre
12 Barrie, ONT Park Place
13 Montreal, QC Park Jean Drapeau

To send me free tickets email me here ( I realize no one is gonna be sending me any tickets, I just put this up because I am a dreamer)

Bonus: There is nothing more punk than Ashlee Simpson’s stylist picking up a pair of Dickies for her.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

Billy Talent is a band my step-daughter can’t get enough of. I have heard there first album over and over and over and over and over. Last year or the year before she dragged me out to one of their shows and I had a good time checking out 15 year old girls who had crushes on the band and the 18- 25 year old girls who were there in hopes of sleeping with the band. It’s funny how girls never really change, they just get sluttier/start spreading their legs for those said crushes.

This year, she’s still a fan and she begged me to do a post on them, because her friend said we’d get free Warped tour tickets.

I like the Warped Tour and I worked it the first year. I helped build the ramps and got to watch the show for free, this was 9 or 10 years ago, when I was really diggin’ some of the bands who played. I guess that’s not all that interesting for you, but I like to embrace the memories I still have, most have been washed away by the bottle. Sad story.

Check Out Billy Talent’s New Website

Check Out Billy Talent’s New Video – Devil in a Midnight Mass

And These are the Warped Tour Dates they are playing

JULY
22 Salt Lake City, UT Utah State Fair Park
23 Denver, CO Invesco Field
25 St. Louis, MO UMB Bank Pavilion
26 Cincinnati, OH Riverbend Music Center
27 Pittsburgh, PA Post Gazette Pavilion
28 Indianapolis, IN Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
29 Detroit, MI Comerica Lot
30 Tinley Park, IL First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre

AUGUST
1 Darien Center, NY Darien Lake PAC
2 Fitchburg, MA Fitchburg Airport
3 Philadelphia, PA Tweeter Center at the Waterfront
4 Scranton, PA Toyota Pavilion
5 Uniondale, NY Nassau Coliseum
6 Old Bridge, NJ Englishtown Raceway
8 Charlotte, NC Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Lot
9 Virginia Beach, VA Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Lot
10 Bristow, VA Nissan Pavilion @ Stone Ridge
11 Cleveland, OH Tower City Amphitheatre
12 Barrie, ONT Park Place
13 Montreal, QC Park Jean Drapeau

To send me free tickets email me here ( I realize no one is gonna be sending me any tickets, I just put this up because I am a dreamer)

Bonus: There is nothing more punk than Ashlee Simpson’s stylist picking up a pair of Dickies for her.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted