This could very likely be a fake, and I don’t really care if it is or not, because this post is not about the nipple, it’s about being the younger, less attractive useless cunt of a sister. Nothing Ashlee does lives up to her sister. She’s the hot girl you want to fuck’s retarded/accidented sister who you have to be nice to if you want any chance at getting the prize, and by prize I mean the hot sister’s cooch.

I once knew a girl who had one of those sisters who everyone loved. She was hot, smart had a good boyfriend, lots of friends. Everything in her life was out of a fucking movie, the perfect happy/healthy existence. So the girl I know has a miserable life, always compared to her sister, and never felt pretty enough, or smart enough, or good enough. One morning bitch wakes up and she’s peaked, the pressure of living up to her sister is too much and she sneaks in her perfect sister’s room at 5 am, while perfect sister’s sleeping, puts a pillow over her sister’s perfect face trying to suffocate her. Anyway, the pretty sister, was also in better shape than the girl I knew, kicked her ass, got her commited to the psych ward and when I met her, she was working the streets to make enough money for a can of beans cuz her family never forgave her…..so I took advantage of this broken soul and dated her for a while. She was so fucked up, that she’d give me blowjobs on command, just to have that feeling of being accepted….of being good enough which I did every night by cumming on her face.

Now, put yourself in Ashlee’s shoes for a second, her sister looks good, her sister has a solid career, her sister is loved by everyone, and she’s the piece of shit no one cares about. That’s why slut’s out showing off her nipples.

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Kelly Clarkson’s got a lot of courage. First, she leaves her life working at the local gas station to sing in front of millions of Americans, and winning them over because she was fat like them. Now, Bitch is walking around in a bikini like she hasn’t got the fattest ass on the beach. I know, there’s all kinds of pressure on girls to maintain their bodies so that men wanna fuck them and shit, but Kelly Clarkson seems to have missed that memo. I guess she is the kind of girl who banks on her “fame” and “money” to get a good dicking because this bitch’s body is all wrong…She has the upper body of a 12 year old girl with an eating disorder, and a lower body that used to belong to Reuben Studdard. The black man with the Jewish Deli name….

The Reason She Got in this Mess

Fat People Do Have All The Fun….

BONUS: Realizing it’s time to cover up…

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Kelly Clarkson’s got a lot of courage. First, she leaves her life working at the local gas station to sing in front of millions of Americans, and winning them over because she was fat like them. Now, Bitch is walking around in a bikini like she hasn’t got the fattest ass on the beach. I know, there’s all kinds of pressure on girls to maintain their bodies so that men wanna fuck them and shit, but Kelly Clarkson seems to have missed that memo. I guess she is the kind of girl who banks on her “fame” and “money” to get a good dicking because this bitch’s body is all wrong…She has the upper body of a 12 year old girl with an eating disorder, and a lower body that used to belong to Reuben Studdard. The black man with the Jewish Deli name….

The Reason She Got in this Mess

Fat People Do Have All The Fun….

BONUS: Realizing it’s time to cover up…

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I try to find celebrities on Myspace. Alanis isn’t really a celebrity proven in the fact that she is engaged to Van Wilder, but I do remember when her album dropped, 15 years ago. I had a friend who used to listen to her music behind closed doors and I always made fun of him for it. When I saw her on myspace, I decided to write her a message of Love.

This is the message of love:

Dear Alanis,

For every person who you’ve given hope to and who you have saved from suicide, there are 10 people who have killed themselves, because of your music. Ironic Don’t You Think? Cuddles.

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

The Response I got:

You’re a fucking jackass. You know that?
Heather

I think it’s funny that Heather run’s the Alanis Myspace page….

Visit Her Myspace

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I don’t really know much about this bitch. She’s dating that Lord of the Rings guy, she’s on lost and she has starred in classics like Stephen King’s Kingdon Hospital. I don’t find this bitch all that hot. She’s got no business rockin’ short shorts, but you gotta give respect where it’s deserved and in this case she’s got great enthusiasm. It’s Easter and bitch is rockin’ bunny ears and carrying around wicker baskets….you know that this means on ever birthday and holiday bitch has made her way to the lingerie store, has bought appropriate costumes and is about to show you the time of your life. Evangeline Lilly is a giver and for that, we’ll forget about her being too fat for those shorts… I always get in fights with my wife over her outfit choices. She barely leaves the house but when she does, she’s rockin’ belly shirts, and in her case – they really are belly shirts…..

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I don’t really know much about this bitch. She’s dating that Lord of the Rings guy, she’s on lost and she has starred in classics like Stephen King’s Kingdon Hospital. I don’t find this bitch all that hot. She’s got no business rockin’ short shorts, but you gotta give respect where it’s deserved and in this case she’s got great enthusiasm. It’s Easter and bitch is rockin’ bunny ears and carrying around wicker baskets….you know that this means on ever birthday and holiday bitch has made her way to the lingerie store, has bought appropriate costumes and is about to show you the time of your life. Evangeline Lilly is a giver and for that, we’ll forget about her being too fat for those shorts… I always get in fights with my wife over her outfit choices. She barely leaves the house but when she does, she’s rockin’ belly shirts, and in her case – they really are belly shirts…..

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I get emails from people wanting their shit promoted at least once ever 6-8 weeks. My site sucks and while most people get free DVDs, Video Games, Clothes, TVs, iPods, Digital Cameras, Cell Phones, Tickets, Vacations, Car Leases for a Year, I get shit. I think the only free thing I got from any PR company was an already opened Digital Playground DVD and I don’t watch porn, so I wasn’t too excited. This is a video for some band, there’s a scene where some big titted bitch gets sprayed down with champagne and that makes it worth watching, not that big tits make a video/song good…it just gives me something to look at while my ears bleed all over my step-shirt.

Jonny Lives! is a NYC band just back from a strong showing at SXSW has been playing to support their Ep Get Steady and sending around their video for the Ep’s title track . Having previously recorded with members of The Strokes, Fountains of Wayne and The Mooney Suzuki, Jonny Lives! has a real NY rock pedigree.

Have a look at the video its a nice display of hot girls and kids behaving badly…

Check The Video Out Here (if you are interested, which you are)

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I have wanted to see this bitch naked since she first came out 8 or 9 years ago. I remember when she was a respectable genie in a bottle, I made a bet with a friend that I would have sex with her before I died. Then she came out with Dirty and I realized that I didn’t have to have sex with her, all I had to do was watch her music videos. It was pretty much the same thing. Then she got married, but that would never stop me if I had the chance, he’s the kind of guy any sane person would cheat on. I kinda feel bad for this guy, I know I’ve mentioned this before, but you know that he was teased all his life and never invited to the right parties, giving him the drive to go out there are make a lot of money, marry a hot girl, drive an 300,000 dollar car but …but people like me and you will always bring up the fact that his inbred jew face,floppy ears and droopy eyes, his lack of style and the past we all know he had over-shadows the life he’s built for himself.

Anyway, this bitch was on the top of my to do list for the longest time, and then the impotency hit and it’s become a non-issue. What is the issue is that she has a new video coming out.

Bonus: The dude who slams her nigthly (without a condom)

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