I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

16

Mar

I am – Dude Measuring his Boobs of the Day

I am pushing the shit out of YouTube and I don’t really mean to, but this fat kid is out there getting his tits measured by some nasty trashy southern bitch, who is probably his mother. I am a fat guy, and I would never have my titties measured on video, because it’s fucking humiliating, dude. Guys shouldn’t have tits, it’s not a joke, fat leads to heart disease and strokes and shit….and shouldn’t be laughed about…

Again, I am a fat man, with a fat wife, so I am not one to talk, but I am not about to make a fool of myself to justify being a fat slob is bullshit to such a big audience, I like to keep the humiliation to the days I muster up the courage to cheat on my wife. Be like me, take ownership of the fact you eat badly, you drink too much, you don’t exercise/leave your house, you have post traumatic stress syndrome from getting molested…I don’t know man, just don’t be doing circus tricks with your fat…I’d wish death upon you, but you’re doing a nice job of it yourself.

I have just learned that there is a War between this dude you just watched and this other dude about who has bigger moobs….Watch the Clip it’s fucking creepy, yet arrousing.

Bonus Man Tit Clip;
Jack E. Brown

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2006

15

Mar

I am – Pearl Jam’s New Album Cover

screenshot_29.jpg

Looks like this cheap album cover was made by some drunken mexican design firm for 2 pesos and a pack of smokes. This low budget piece of shit album artwork is probably all this band can afford, being useless for the last 10 years has an impacr on what’s left in the bank account.

The reason I know it’s mexican-made is because of the avacado, we live off these things, because they grow for free in our backyards, and by backyard I mean, on the tree my shanty leans up against….the avacado is a very vaginal and I whenever I eat guacamole, I have this urge to fuck…the guacamole….Either way, I always forget that Pearl Jam is still alive. I have always had this fantasy that Cobain pulled a murder/suicide and brought the grunge scene down with him…I was unfortunately wrong….I am going to take a shit in my bathtub and roll around in it, just to wash the dirty off of me, and yes, my shit is cleaner than this shit….that may not make sense to you, but it does to me, so go fuck yourself. Cuddles.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

15

Mar

I am – Pearl Jam's New Album Cover

screenshot_29.jpg

Looks like this cheap album cover was made by some drunken mexican design firm for 2 pesos and a pack of smokes. This low budget piece of shit album artwork is probably all this band can afford, being useless for the last 10 years has an impacr on what’s left in the bank account.

The reason I know it’s mexican-made is because of the avacado, we live off these things, because they grow for free in our backyards, and by backyard I mean, on the tree my shanty leans up against….the avacado is a very vaginal and I whenever I eat guacamole, I have this urge to fuck…the guacamole….Either way, I always forget that Pearl Jam is still alive. I have always had this fantasy that Cobain pulled a murder/suicide and brought the grunge scene down with him…I was unfortunately wrong….I am going to take a shit in my bathtub and roll around in it, just to wash the dirty off of me, and yes, my shit is cleaner than this shit….that may not make sense to you, but it does to me, so go fuck yourself. Cuddles.

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2006

14

Mar

I am – Steve takes a Shit: Step TV of the Day

I am not the biggest fan of watching dude’s shit. I find it kind of gross and I always end up gagging when the smell hits me. I am from mexico, you’d think the smell of shit would remind me of my womb or some shit. But it doesn’t. It reminds me of death and all those bad things I was allowed to say before banning me for knives and squirrels.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. This is Step TV video of the day, and it’s of that dude Steve who was living on my couch, only this time he’s shitting, in a bathroom way too nice for me…te

Posted in:stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

14

Mar

I am – Britney Spears Tongue

brittop1.jpg

Guest writer: Kelly Knowlton
Having been recently molested by JM, I’m having a hard time focusing, he is that bad. I don’t know but girls I think I am already developing a rash … good news is that Brit’s tongue could clearly do a job on JM that I couldn’t,because I am useless. I say it was for fear of losing my burrito. But it was really for fear of incompetence. WTF? No wonder K-Fed is still around with this Britney bitch,, it’s not for the cash, it’s for the BLOW JOBS BITCHES!! Her tongue is so massive I think I just shit myself and I’m a chick. Show me your titties!! Kelly and Brit sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g…I am kelly by the way you fucking short attention span cocksucker. What? I’d kiss it. I’d lick it, I’d even teach it how to dance, even though it’s showered once a month.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

Mar

I am – Victoria Beckham’s Ass

vickyBTOP.jpg

It’s a huge day for Rock and Republic. That whore Alba’s rockin a pair, and now Victoria Spice Beckham…..I expect my free pair in the mail, but they probably don’t make them in my size, because faggots who wear 400 dollar jeans usually don’t weigh 300 lbs. They have an image to protect and it’s fine with me because I am happy stickin’ to my jogging pants, they fit me proper and homeless people don’t ask you for change, they think you are one of them.

Point of the story is the Vicky Beckham’s got no ass, and that David Beckham hooked up with her, because she reminded him of a time when he discovered sex. A young “Footballer” back in England, in the shower after winning a big game.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

Mar

I am – Victoria Beckham's Ass

vickyBTOP.jpg

It’s a huge day for Rock and Republic. That whore Alba’s rockin a pair, and now Victoria Spice Beckham…..I expect my free pair in the mail, but they probably don’t make them in my size, because faggots who wear 400 dollar jeans usually don’t weigh 300 lbs. They have an image to protect and it’s fine with me because I am happy stickin’ to my jogging pants, they fit me proper and homeless people don’t ask you for change, they think you are one of them.

Point of the story is the Vicky Beckham’s got no ass, and that David Beckham hooked up with her, because she reminded him of a time when he discovered sex. A young “Footballer” back in England, in the shower after winning a big game.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

Mar

I am – Kate Moss’ Coochie of the Day

KateMossCaribTop.jpg

The thing I like about Kate Moss is her level of commitment. She has always been a hard worker in all kinds of glamorous magazine spreads. She has always been really skinny and even when criticized for it in the 90s by fat models, she stuck to her skinny and changed the face of fashion. Now all the bitches are skinny, and we don’t have to waste our time on some dumpy assed Cindy Crawford drinking a coke….when Kate Moss is in the bathroom railin’ a line…..Point of the story is that Kate Moss is so good, that I would love to have access to her panties, so that I could sniff them all day.

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2006

13

Mar

I am – Kate Moss' Coochie of the Day

KateMossCaribTop.jpg

The thing I like about Kate Moss is her level of commitment. She has always been a hard worker in all kinds of glamorous magazine spreads. She has always been really skinny and even when criticized for it in the 90s by fat models, she stuck to her skinny and changed the face of fashion. Now all the bitches are skinny, and we don’t have to waste our time on some dumpy assed Cindy Crawford drinking a coke….when Kate Moss is in the bathroom railin’ a line…..Point of the story is that Kate Moss is so good, that I would love to have access to her panties, so that I could sniff them all day.

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2006

13

Mar

I am – Jessica Alba at Home

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There is something really comforting in knowing what the outside of Alba’s house looks like. It’s kinda comforting in the way that I will collect cans for the next 6 months, picking them out of garbages and shit, to get my plane ticket to L.A., so that I can search the city over, with this picture in hand, looking for Alba’s home. I will find it eventually, and when I do, I will break in, run a nice bath, take a shit and greet her when she comes home, in nothing but a condom…I wear condoms instead of underwear, it’s cheaper. Either way, I think she’d really like that, and I would too….Alba….I know where you live and I am comin’ for you….CUDDLES.

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