Yes, I should have been out fucking, or playing with tits, or drunk and making advances at random people, creeping them out as I do – but instead I watched a few minutes of the RNC last night – because it’s solid comedy – and I posted some of my observations on facebook…mainly that I […]

I am not one of those bro’s in a MENINIST shirt that is going viral, you know the kind of date rapist who fucks girls he slut shames so bad with his premature ejaculation issue, you’ve seen the meme….but I do think there’s double standard because when I wear my uncomfortably tight sweat pants thanks […]

I left my house today – and saw at least one slutty girl short shorts you know wanted to get fingered because why else would she wear short shorts….I saw at least one girl not wearing a bra – her hard nipples reminding me that if you got nice tits…you might as well go one […]

I realized that the discount grocery store is the best place to find single mothers buying shitty hot dogs for their shitty kids – and that if you’re like me, even when you can’t afford much, because the pain that is life has destroyed you and your money earning potential, you can still move in […]

The problem with checking out moms at the public pool when you look the way I look is that they think you’re checking out their kids like some kind of pervert….because you are a fucking pervert, just not that kind of pervert and more the kind waiting to see your big mom tit fall out […]

I spent the weekend drinking with Lewis Hamilton…because it was the FORMULA 1 Grand Prix, the event that made Tamara Ecclestone and heiress who owns the Aaron Spelling castle in LA, and Lewis, good old Lewis, won – as he does -that crazy Lewis – who I was hoping would tell us all stories of […]

I spent my day drunk on tequila – looking at booty in bikinis – while trying to figure out where my life went completely wrong… But before I fully gave up and jumped into the kiddie pool in efforts to drown myself….I passed out and woke up now – ready to bring you the ever […]

Apparently, big breasts open doors…that’s why I tell every small chested woman I meet, most who I am not introduced to formally, because they are in line with me at the grocery store…that they should get breast implants…it’ll make their lives better… Apparently, me telling them that doesn’t make their life better – they have […]

I am trying to convince a girl to get butt plugs for ANAL training, but her main concern is the shit…because shit is gross So in my anal training course, I suggest she stop eating for 48 hours before anal….or she can stop 24 hours before and have a series of enemas, because poo is […]