I love big penis as much as the next impotent straight guy. I think it is important for these big penised men to congregate online and talk about their big penises. The logic behind guys with big penises is that they always have penis on their mind. I will make a bet that all successful people have micro-penises, because when you got a big cock, you really don’t need that much else.

I work in a factory canning food products, I will let you guess what school I am in.

Hi Girls, My name is Jesus…..

Today’s message is about a guy who has such a big dick he gets headaches. after the jump

I am wondering how many of you out there have my problem. When erect my penis reaches about 9.8 inches long and has a diameter of about 2 inches, and I get headaches when i have erections for long periods of time, or multiple times in a short period. I fear that it is because of the amount of blood needed to erect my penis, and that it draws from my brain essentially, resulting in a headache. Its a theory of mine, anyone know if it is true or not? or have a similiar problem

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There will always be something to test you to see if you are really over an ex. Just when you think you are, you aren’t, at all.

Yesterday morning some number called from the pathetic Middle America State. I am thinking holy fuck. Holy fuck. How did he get the number? My heart races. What does he want! What do I say! I start thinking, is he calling from work? Has he met someone new? Why is he calling? Does he want to make up? It goes on like this for the whole morning. Finally I find out it was a telemarketer. So the joke was on me. hahaha. Yes lets all laugh together.

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We are the home of Lohan, it is official, I have confirmation she is reading the site and loves it. She told us she is going to be sending us exclusive topless shots, but she refuses to put her head in the picture. She’s on my AIM, and she loves talking dirty to me….It’s true, when Jesus Martinez disguises himself as a 19 year old drummer, good things happen…

After the Jump you will find – Lohan’s Outtakes from a YM photoshoot, as well as recent pics from a movie premiere, where she did made blow with Jessica Simpson. I am just speculating, I wasn’t there, I was busy working the nightshift so that I can pay my mother fucking rent. Bitchs.

Movie Premiere

YM

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Back in poverty ridden streets of Mexico, we didn’t have TV, the only movie theatre played porn and the thought of moving pictures was something that we dreamt of. Now that I have left the poverty ridden streets of Mexico and have this amazing computer(provided by a government program), I am in the lucky position to find the hottest clips on the net and deliver them to you, right here.

Realize how lucky you are – motherfuckers.

8 video Clips + a bonus for today:

Cop Shoots Himself

Bad Vet

Wrong Hole

Egyptian Wedding

Slumber Party

Kissing the Mic

Chainsaw Juggling

Girsl Sniffin’ Ass (I have no sound, no idea what’s goin on here)

BONUS – CELEB NUDITY
Desperate Housewives Naked

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So it’s a slow day in celebrity nipples and I feel the need to deliver the goods. I came across this girl named Sarah Harding, a member of the UK pop group Girls Aloud. They are the next generation Spice Girls, but a lot more slutty. We are down with slutty and we are down with the Spice Girls. I remember winning a set of tickets to their 1998 show, the stepdaughters were so fucking excited. We had great seats, I could see up Geri’s skirt, but then again, who hasn’t.

Sarha Harding Pictures After The Jump.

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Here are some fun links to keep you happy. If would like to send me a link, email me at:brad

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As an obese man, I have a certain sexual relationship with fast food. When I get the opportunity to go to a Carl’s Jr. to rape my stomach, I do. My favorite burger is the New Spicy Six dollar burger topped with batter-covered, deepfried Jalapenos.

As a person who hates everything, I have a certain problem with Trucker Hats as well as everything else.

As the content provider for this site I like to deliver good product, that will make you as a reader happy.

Today’s hat of the day is the Burger Trucker Hat, that is unlike any other trucker hat, because it has a Pom Pom.

To most people a Pom Pom would be considered gay, but it reminds me of the schoolyard….one of my favorite places.

get up on this – Bitch

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Ok, so this fleshlight is out of hand. It is turning the world into a sad and lonely place. Guys who couldn’t get laid, or find it a pain in the ass to try and find bitches to fuck are buying this thing. No instead of going out to hook up, there are sitting at home, chatting on the internet and fucking their rubber pussy. It’s the lazy man’s sex replacement and the losers hand replacement. Overall, I think the fleshlight is contributing to the fall of society….just wait and see….I know I am right.

Today’s post of the day is about a guy (who lives with his mom, big surprise) and his first experience with his Fleshlight.

This is a long one, so I put it after the jump

It arrived today! Unfortunately, I was still sleeping when it got to my house, so my mom is the one who accepted the package and set it by my bedroom door. This was a good test for the anonymous packaging, and it totally fooled her. When I got up, I opened my door and was like, “holy shit! OMG!” There was that little brown box containing the most pleasureable product known to man. I quickly checked to see if anyone was home, and I realized my mom had left the house! BONUS! Now I was free to check out the FL without having to be completely sneaky.

Upon opening the box I saw the container and the super tight pink lady insert I had ordered. I am average size, so I decided to go with the super tight. Also, I heard that it offers the most realistic experience on top of being one of the best inserts you can order. The insert was sealed in a plastic bag. I quickly tore that open and gave it a feel. At first, it felt soft… more gel like than skin. I was happy and kind of disappointed at the same time. It didnt feel “real” right out of the box. However, I didnt care. I quickly filled the bathroom sink with warm water and let the bitch soak for about 5 mins while I ditched the box in the outside garbage. I sprinted back in from outside (it’s cold here!), and took the insert out of the sink and dried it with a towel. It was quite warm.

Anxiously I put the insert in the case and put my finger in it. It felt about the right temp, but still didnt feel “real”. I got naked and began to pump my cock a bit to get it hard. With all that anxious excitement, it took me longer than I would have liked, but I eventually got it nice and hard. This is where things took a turn for the better in terms of the realistic feeling of the product. I squeezed some of that I.D. Glide sample they gave me on the pussy lips and used my finger to rub some in the canal. That is when the thing came to life. UNBELIEVEABLE. It felt completely real. I was BLOWN away. I put some lube on my prick and slid that baby down on my cock. I almost blew it right then and there. God it felt good. Too good. I can not believe how realistic it feels.

Before I had a chance to finish, my mom comes home. This pissed me off something horrid. She starts calling out my name to see if I am home. I dont respond because I am pissed that she is interrupting my session. To top it off, she comes DOWNSTAIRS and starts knocking on my bedroom door. Luckily, I am in the bathroom and had time to hide the FL under the sink and get my damn pants back on. I yell out that I am in the jon. The she asks, “so what did you get?” I replied, “some dvds.” I was worried she somehow knew about this product and was trying to catch me in a lie. She quickly said, “oh alright,” and backed off. To make it WORSE, upon exiting the bathroom, I saw she was now just down the hall on the computer in plain sight. I couldnt even bring the damn thing to my bedroom until she went upstairs. I didnt want to go back to the bathroom.. kind of suspicious. So I wait and wait and wait for her to finish some retarded e-mail and head upstairs.

Finally she leaves, I grab the FL (luckily still warm and well lubed). Already preped, I slide her back over my cock, sit in the chair, and pump it. Took me maybe 3 mins to explode in the most satisfying orgasm in a LONG time. It just kept going and going… now one little spurt like with your hand… oh no…

Dispite my bittersweet first time with it (not ILF’s fault), I am completely satisfied. For $60, I feel I am ripping THEM off. This thing is easily worth way more than that. Absolutely unbelieveable.

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Remember a while ago Jennifer Aniston was suing some dude over pics of her tits, well these are them there pictures. They are nothing new, they’ve been around for a while and I have seen them over and over, but they are tits so stop fucking complaining you bitches. I love paparazzi shit, it remindes me of when my foster parent used to take pictures of us doing menial things, like showering, swimming, playing, in retrospect, that was a little creepy.

If you are wondering what the hell the header picture is, it’s Jennifer Aniston’s graduation picture….

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Remember a while ago Jennifer Aniston was suing some dude over pics of her tits, well these are them there pictures. They are nothing new, they’ve been around for a while and I have seen them over and over, but they are tits so stop fucking complaining you bitches. I love paparazzi shit, it remindes me of when my foster parent used to take pictures of us doing menial things, like showering, swimming, playing, in retrospect, that was a little creepy.

If you are wondering what the hell the header picture is, it’s Jennifer Aniston’s graduation picture….

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