I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2005

25

Jan

I am – Jewish Fact of the day: Kosher pt. 1


This is the start of our newest Jewish Fact of the Day series: Kosher. Over the coming weeks you will learn all about the eating restrictions of the Jews.

Here’s your fact for Today:

“Jews are allowed to eat certain foods known as kosher. Forbidden foods are known as treyfah.”

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2005

24

Jan

I am – Paris Hilton’s Failed Perfume

Well, in what is surely no shocker, Paris Hilton’s eponymously named perfume didn’t fair too well over the Christmas season. In fact, she was handily beaten by none other than Britney Spears. This is a little odd, though, since Paris has been getting a little bit better looking, and more presentable, while we all know what’s been going on with Miss Spears of late.

Regardless, you’ll find some nice pictures of Paris hard at work, after the jump.




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2005

24

Jan

I am – Paris Hilton's Failed Perfume

Well, in what is surely no shocker, Paris Hilton’s eponymously named perfume didn’t fair too well over the Christmas season. In fact, she was handily beaten by none other than Britney Spears. This is a little odd, though, since Paris has been getting a little bit better looking, and more presentable, while we all know what’s been going on with Miss Spears of late.

Regardless, you’ll find some nice pictures of Paris hard at work, after the jump.




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2005

24

Jan

I am – Sex on the Beach

I have never had sex on the beach, but I have had the drink once. I remember it well, I was on vacation (yes poor people travel) and I was trying to impress a girl at the local bar. She ordered a Sex on the beach and I thought she was talking kinky to me…so I looked at the waitress and said “yes, I would love sex on the beach” needless to say, I never had sex with her on the beach, but she did invite me to go shopping with her, go to the bikini waxer with her, go out for drinks with her and her new boyfriend and most importantly asked me to be her Bride’s Maid.

Point of the story is sex on the beach the drink is gay.

Sex on the beach the act is funny.

Check out a clip of sex on the beach going wrong HEREvia uselessjunk

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2005

24

Jan

I am – David Arquette: Jewish Celebrity of the Day


I first found out about this guy when the guy behind me in shul was bragging to everyone how his daughter was dating this Jewish actor named David. I didn’t hear anything about the guy again till my wife Zelda told , me just married Courtney Cox. I guess old Bernie in Shul isn’t bragging anymore. David’s mother was Jewish, which according to the rabbi makes him a Jew too. Though he says the family wasn’t raised in a very Jewish way, other than celebrating Jewish holidays here and there.

More Info after the Jump

IMDB BIO:
The youngest of five, David Arquette was born in Virginia and is part of the illustrious Arquette family whose work has spread over many generations. Like siblings ‘ Arquette’ , Rosanna Arquette, Patricia Arquette, Richmond Arquette and Alexis Arquette, David started working at an early age and his first major role came as Luke Perry’s best friend in the hit film Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) But his major break both personally and professionally didn’t come until 1996 when he was cast in the slasher flick Scream (1996) starring opposite close friend Drew Barrymore, Neve Campbell and more importantly “Friends” (1994), with Courteney Cox who he married in San Fransisco in the summer of 1999. Scream (1996) earned worldwide success and acclaim as did Arquette for his role as loveable simple cop Dewey. His role proved to be so popular that in the original script his character was meant to die, but due to test audiances response to Dewey the script was changed and he returned for both Scream 2 (1997) and Scream 3 (2000). Usually known for his goofyness in more mainstream roles, his greatest preformances and reviews have come for his indie films such as Johns (1996), Dream with the Fishes (1997) and The Grey Zone (2001). David and wife Courteney Cox reside in LA and produce their own DIY show “Mix It Up” (2003) because of their love for home improvement.

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2005

24

Jan

I am – Rape Joke of the Day

I don’t like jokes, especially when I don’t write them, but this one did make me laugh, so I decided to put it all up in here. Don’t worry – I am not going to make this a regular feature, because jokes are for fat middle aged men who don’t get laid, lack personality and are attempting to find material they can use socially, to either break the ice, make people laugh, or as a back-up plan for the date you have with the girl you met chatting online, but don’t know if you have much to say to them in person…..the pressure’s on and here’s a joke for you to use fatty.

Rape Joke After the jump…

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, “You know, we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. Why don’t we split up today. I’ll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we’ll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire.”

The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.

That night over dinner, the first man tells his story: “Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?”

The second friend says, “I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp.”

“Wow!!” the first guy exclaimed, “Your day was MUCH better than mine. Did you get a blow job, too?”

“Nah,” says the second friend over his meal, “I couldn’t find her head

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2005

24

Jan

I am – Christina Aguilera Cleavage Video

I like Pop Stars just as much as the next 13 year old girl. I also love when they get breast implants, nipple rings and run around in their underwear to re-vamp their image and show the world that they aren’t teen popstars anymore. I like it when they admit they are full hearted whores and that the only reason they are where they are in their careers was from sucking dick at the age of 14, perverted record producers are into that shit.

I made a bet with someone that I will sleep with Christina at some point in my life…I have a feeling I am going to have to wait until she snorts all her money and ends up working the stripclub scene. I am HUGE in the strip club scene, so I am ready and waiting until the day a 45 year old chain smoking X-Tina shows me just how dirty she is…by taking off her booty shorts and well…you know….playing connect the herpes scabs – that is some next level pee-wee herman shit…FAH LA LA LA

A clip of her fake tit cleavage right HERE via TimeKiller.com

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2005

24

Jan

I am – Brad’s Monday Morning Link Dump

The link dump returns. If you would like to send me an embarrassing link you can always email me at: brad

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2005

24

Jan

I am – Brad's Monday Morning Link Dump

The link dump returns. If you would like to send me an embarrassing link you can always email me at: brad

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2005

24

Jan

i am – The future of movie rentals

I just saw a brand new concept where you can rent DVDs and games with a membership card through an automated dispenser. The chain is based out of Montreal, Canada and they have over ten stores already open. Because all of the movies are in the dispenser you can come pick up and return 24 hours a day using the touch screen software. Also they let you reserve your movies online before you come in.
DVD Vending Machine by Moviexpress

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