I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2005

06

Jan

I am – HornyBoy

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Horny Boy  is our personal site of the day. He is a rich horny kid from San Fran. His dad is royalty and his mom runs her own entertainment company. He gets to mingle with celebrities, and travel the world on his dad’s private jet. And he is horny, much like myself, that is the reason for my criminal record in its entirety. Try telling a judge you did it because you were horny…it doesn’t go too far.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

 
About Horny Boy:
 
“I’m a college student from San Francisco who lives life with the rich and famous. My Mom runs a major corporation in the entertainment industry, so I get to meet lots of celebrities backstage at movie, television, fashion, and music events from time to time. With my Dad, I get to jet to major sporting events. I also accompany my parents to major European royal functions. Enjoy my life!”
 
About His Mom
 
“Recently one of my Mom’s big projects was released, and it has grossed a truly obscene amount of money in a very short period of time. I’d say more, but that might jeopardize my anonymity here. “
 
“So what is this uberrich lady doing on Thanksgiving afternoon? Cutting and sorting grocery coupons for her kitchen staff. I’ll never understand the lady. The movie trade rag Variety would never believe it.”
 
“Actually I think my Mom went to the NBC party just to see what other talent was ripe for the plucking. No wonder my Mom earns the really HUGE bucks.”
 
About his Sex Life:
 
“Sunday morning Samantha woke me up kissing my neck and nibbling on my earlobes. I was nude and had my usual morning hardon, but my first reaction was embarrassment for it. She tried to pull down the sheets, and I held them in place as though my life depended on it. I don’t know why I’m so shy and fucked up when I wake up. What is really weird is that I usually jack off when I wake up, so I have no idea why I didn’t want to have sex with Samantha.”
 
“Some of the guys thought jacking off to oneself in the mirror was just autoerotic while a minority thought that it was homoerotic.”
 
“Later in the afternoon Tiff’s buns were getting red, so I squirted Lubriderm Lotion on them. The cold lotion gave Tiff’s buns the cutest goosebumps. I used a bird feather to play “connect the dots” while on my stomach so Tiff wouldn’t notice my hardon and jump to conclusions. Sometimes I get hardons for the dumbest reasons.”
 
“Tiff, Natalie, and Deb are really just friends, yet looking at their nude bodies basking in the sun got me hard. And they seemed to really check out us guys too as we lay there nude. “
 
“At least now I know my shower can hold six people. All three of us guys had hardons, yet it was so much fun we couldn’t give a shit.”
 
I am pretty sure this guy isn’t for real, he is just a lonely sexually repressed guy who gets little attention from the ladies, and from his family. He is projecting this image on the internet, because you get to be whoever you want to be on the net. It’s what the stepfather calls fantasy, but we won’t get into my fantasies…they are too naughty and illegal. 
 
Main Site Here
Celebs Page Here
Sexual Encounters Here
 

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2005

06

Jan

I am – Federline Perfume

“Federline” a new perfume by Britney Spears is coming.

Hear the ad Here

In other britney news:

Popstar Britney Spears wearing prison outfit in L.A.

Here

Caption: Outrageous to the last popstar Britney Spears shows off her wacky outfit on a day out in Malibu. Her outfit consisted of a cut off denim jacket decorated with safety pins, metal studs and glittery mementos over the top of a genuine California department of Corrections prison sweater. The sweater is generally worn by hardened prison guards securing some of the states toughest prisoners and it is unsure as to how the princess of pop got her hands on it. As she departed the Lisa Kline mens store to head back to her assistants vehicle she stumbled over a sewer drain and made a few facial expressions and comments about the offensive smell.

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2005

06

Jan

I am – Spam of the Day

—– Original Message —–

To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
Sent: Wednesday, January 05, 2005 6:41 PM
Subject: Improve Your Size and Your Power

“My girlfriend loves the results, but she doesn’t know what I do. She thinks it’s natural” -Thomas, CA

“I’ve been using your product for 4 months now. I’ve increased my length from 2″ to nearly 6″ . Your product has saved my sex life.” -Matt, FL

Pleasure your partner every time with a bigger, longer, stronger Unit
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Yet such was the case; just as the sun sank over the edge of the waves he saw, to his great relief, a large island directly in his path
sorry not for me and the address is above
She threatened to scratch my eyes out if I touched her
Where is she? asked Dorothy He dropped to a lower position in the air, and when he judged himself to be over the center of the island he turned the indicator to zero and stopped short The country was beautifully wooded, while pretty brooks sparkled through the rich green foliage of the trees

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2005

06

Jan

I am – Anna Nicole Nipple Pasties

This girl was fat and on crack that I sold her. Now she is thinner and too good for my crack, she just likes to get jacked on trimspa pills and shows her titties in the process.

We know you have already seen her naked, she was a playboy centerfold, but it’s nice to see her letting the ladies out. Unfortunately she is rocking a pair of white trash pasties. I have a pair, but I only wear them to the beach, and that is because I have very offensive nipples

Check out the Anna Nicole Pic (no that isn’t me pulling up her shirt).

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2005

06

Jan

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Nipple Ring

In this picture you can see Christina Aguilera’s nipple ring. That’s all I have to say about that.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

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2005

06

Jan

I am – Christina Aguilera's Nipple Ring

In this picture you can see Christina Aguilera’s nipple ring. That’s all I have to say about that.

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

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2005

06

Jan

I am – Scarlett Johansson’s Self Esteem

In a recent interview with Ireland On-line, the very lush Scarlett Johansson reveals that her inflated ego is merely due to the fact that she’s “comfortable with herself.”

Whatever. She talks about her breasts in this article, and really, that’s all that matters.

Scarlett Johansson credits her sexiness with the fact she’s always been very comfortable with the way she looks.

The Lost in Translation star urges all young women to study themselves carefully and pick out all the things that look great before opting to try to copy someone else’s style.

She says: “If you’re comfortable with yourself, then it’s sexy. Maybe people think I look sexy because I fell sexy. I am a very liberated person that way.

“I’m very comfortable with my sexuality, my body, my face – well, sometimes I’m not comfortable with my face, but it’s stuck there and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Johansson admits her favourite feature is her breasts: “I’m proud of my girls. They’re my charms, my feminine wiles.”

We’re proud of them too, Scarlett. Can we see them?


Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – Scarlett Johansson's Self Esteem

In a recent interview with Ireland On-line, the very lush Scarlett Johansson reveals that her inflated ego is merely due to the fact that she’s “comfortable with herself.”

Whatever. She talks about her breasts in this article, and really, that’s all that matters.

Scarlett Johansson credits her sexiness with the fact she’s always been very comfortable with the way she looks.

The Lost in Translation star urges all young women to study themselves carefully and pick out all the things that look great before opting to try to copy someone else’s style.

She says: “If you’re comfortable with yourself, then it’s sexy. Maybe people think I look sexy because I fell sexy. I am a very liberated person that way.

“I’m very comfortable with my sexuality, my body, my face – well, sometimes I’m not comfortable with my face, but it’s stuck there and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Johansson admits her favourite feature is her breasts: “I’m proud of my girls. They’re my charms, my feminine wiles.”

We’re proud of them too, Scarlett. Can we see them?


Posted in:Scarlett Johansson|Unsorted

2005

06

Jan

I am – The Tampon Doll!

If only I found this a few weeks ago I would have given one to each of my kids for Hanukkah. They promise no “real” tampons are harmed in the making of these dolls so the activists will love them too.

HERE

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2005

06

Jan

I am – Spam of the Day

—– Original Message —–
From: “Willie Zapata”
To: drunkjesus@gmail.com
Subject: Ready for the sex life you always dreamed about?

Are you ready for the sex life you always dreamed about?

Every man wishes he had a larger penis…
Every woman wishes their partner could last longer in bed…
Do you want to increase her pleasure, as well as your own?
Well now its possible with Maxx Length.
What are you waiting for? Give it a try:

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