Everyone has nipples so why do people care when a celebrity is wearing a shirt that shows off their nipple. I know I am only interested in seeing their muff, but to all you perverts who get off to obscure nipple pictures. Here you go – you dirty bastards.

Nothing After the Jump

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Johnny Carson was a talk show host, a legend, but anyone who passes off the mic to Jay Leno will clearly be missed, coveted and appreciated. Because Leno sucks.

It is the same logic used when girls always hang out with other girls who are uglier than them, they do it because they want to be the prettiest in the crew. We call the ugly girls the fat managers, because to get to the hot chick, you have to go through the fatties.

If you don’t get what I am saying, I am drunk, and while drunk, I have trouble bringing the point home, but I have no problem bringing a hooker home, even though it really pisses off my wife.

Anyway the point of this post is to honor a man who died from smoking too much, who married too many times, who met and made fun of too many celebrities and to a man who made a lot of people laugh everynight of the week. For that we commend you dear soldier of tobacco and women….to a career in television that will never be duplicated mainly due to the vast selection we have with satelite TV…..and partially due to a lack of natural talent and sincerity….

Some Carson Quotes After the Jump

On his final show:
“I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.”

On Death:
“For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.”

On Elvis:
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

On Life:
“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”

On Marriage:
“If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.”

On Curiosity:
“Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.”

On Obesity:
“He’s so fat, he can be his own running mate.”

On Christmas Toys:
“The price of Christmas toys is outrageous — a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters. I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in.
He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year he got a box. And I got a hundred dollars’ worth of scotch.”

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Another link dump to quench you thirst. If you would like to send me an embarrassing link you can always email me at: brad.jew@gmail.com

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Another link dump to quench you thirst. If you would like to send me an embarrassing link you can always email me at: brad.jew@gmail.com

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So we decided to have a competition here at DrunkenStepfather.com that has no prize at this point in time, but we will think of one, provided you win.

Full details after the jump.

The contest is simple – you email this penis elargement site with an extravagent testimonial. If they put it up on the testimonial page, you win.

The site is MaxxLength

And some of the testimonials are:

“My wife has been there from the beginning, since I took my first Maxx Length pill. She wants me to stop when my penis reaches nine inches, but I’m not so sure.” – P. D’Angelo, Jericho, NY

“I used to be embarrassed in the locker room. But not any more. Since I began my Maxx Length regimen, I now hang out long and fat and thick. I am the envy of other men. My life has changed.”
– B. Sommers, York, PA

“Thank you guys for what you did for my boyfriend (and me). His erections are bigger and better than ever before. He delivers the goods every time. Our sex life has never been better.” – M. Cook,Torrance, CA

I don’t know the legal implications of doing this, so if you hate us (joggingslut) you can participate too, as it may get us in trouble!

email this address from this link, it automatically BCCs us, so we know you’re legit.

Enter Contest

LOVE the DrunkenStepfather crew..

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Clothes Off Our Back is a charity where celebs donate clothes they wore to award shows, auction them off and donate the money to Tsunami. I was going through the selection of designer goods available and only one struck a chord. It was Star Jones’ Kevan Hall Golden Globe gown.

I do not have an affinity for women’s clothing, although I do look really pretty in pantyhose. I was just thinking about putting a bid on this acution because I think my fridge would look great in it, and it’s about the right size. A fridge in a dress is a much hotter thing than you.

Other uses for this gown could include, sofa slip cover, a duvet bag, a sail for a small boat, a tent for the camp ground or for a party.

I am sure you can think of your own things to do with yards and yards of fabric..including making it the biggest cum rag of all time, cut it up and make clothes for the whole family, donate it to directly to the tsunami cause, to house the people who have lost their homes. I feel like I am getting repetitive.

Check out the auction here

It’s a good cause and if you are lucky it will still stink of Star in all the right places, or maybe it will be soiled with food that she fell off her spoon and she shoveled it into her fat face.

Was that mean??

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Jesse Palmer went 0-25 on the Bachelor and his NFL stats are pretty much the same. But the guy still holds
celebrity status, especially when he is sighted in the dullest city north of the border.
Our celebrity watchdogs caught the Ottawa native partying at WET 2K5 happening at On Tap in Ottawa’s Club district. For a city that is in desperate need of celebrity sightings, Ottawa welcomed
this pseudo-superstar with the first ever wet bra contest, where everyone wins. Make room for the ultra conservative wet bra girls.

More Wet Bra Pics after the jump.

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We have had a few emails asking us to find tradition muslim girls, in their traditional costume, flashing their traditional breasts. We have also had a very helpful Indonesian reader submit these pictures. His exact quote was:

It’s a genuine Indonesian, traditional muslim girl wearing hijab, only to reveal some of her soft private parts… 🙂

More pictures after the jump.

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Ahhh those whacky Germans… Gunther von Hagen here takes real human bodies and to plasticise them. He then strips them of their skin, removing or flaying muscles, exposing bits of brain…he makes them play chess, he makes them play basket ball or ride horsies.. god only knows what his mother did to him, oh wait, I forgot, he’s German. And on top of it all he looks like he’s dressed for the SS reunion tour.. more after the jump…

Although all this was originally done for educational purposes, there has of course been no lack of controversy: von Hagen has been accused of using executed chinese prisoners, and has carried out a public autopsy (illegal in the UK). Oh, and of course those fun loving Christians got their shit stained panties all in knots. In any case, having attracted some 8 million people since it began in 1995, and having in excess of 4,500 people waiting to “donate”, BODY WORKS has not only made Gunther an art celebrity but also a multi millionaire (he invented and patented the plasticisation process).
If you would like to donate your body (after you die of course) you can contact the good Doctor through his web site HERE
I think he needs fat people… I didn’t see any pictures of them.
If you are lucky enough to live in California (you live on a fault line), the exhibit is at the California Science centre for a few more days. It then moves on to Chicago and Los Angeles.


(note: as of mid 2004 von hagens had been cleared of the chinese body thingy, and simultaneously of tax evasion. According to the BBC it was Munich city council that attempted to ban the show, a decision that was overturned by a higher court. Von Hagens was in trouble for calling himself “Professor”, a title obtained in China and not Germany, thus problematic (for the Germans at least))

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essas
its me again
your magical momma minx
i know, you are not ready for a woman just yet
you are still getting over being touched in special places by your daddies
but i will coach you through.
to ensure you understand where i am coming from, and how i know the same has happened to you, i will tell another story, a sweet memory from my childhood, a magical moment with minx.

in my old high school, the cleaning staff were all from mexico. we all know how weak my weakness is for mexicans so it was no grand surprise to anyone the day jose left me a broom in my locker for my own enjoyment, and i did nothing but giggle for an entire hour as i came four times as we fucked like rabid rabbits in one of the french rooms, bent over the desk with his hand on my back and my kilt rolled up and my knee highs still on. when i had to go back to class all i could think about was that hot broom. i wanted it so bad i remember excusing myself to go to the bathroom and instead going at it untill my fingers were to sore to continue shoving the broom stick in and out in and out in and out in and out. jose must have come by and smelt it after i had gone back to class, because when i went back to the lockeroom after school, we was standing the naked except for a yellow bucket hanging off his rock hard dong. sadly, our fiascos ended one day when i realised cleaning crews no longer did it for me and the assembly line of mexican men with brooms, sombreros and dongs awaiting stopped making me soak through my panties, i went on to better things. mainly, construction workers. i never truly did get over how sexy a man looked with only a pail between him and being inside of me.

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