I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2005

04

Jan

I am – Paris, I Steal my own sex tape

Paris Hilton is so smart she stole her sex tape…maybe she thought that was the only copy

Paris Hilton’s embarrassment and anger over her XXX sex tape finally got the best of the heiress at a Hollywood newsstand she frequents.

In a sudden act caught on video surveillance cameras, Hilton tore up a poster advertising 1 Night in Paris and stole a copy of the infamous movie shot by ex-flame Rick Salomon and sold without her permission! The tape is a best seller, with close to half a million copies sold so far.

Paris’ ordeal occurred on Dec. 15, shortly after she and pals entered Swing News on Sunset Boulevard in L.A. around 3:30 p.m. to buy celebrity magazines, according to the clerk on duty.

“She appeared to be in a good mood and even posed for a picture with me for my celeb scrapbook,” the clerk said. “But as she was setting some magazines down by the cash register, she saw that we were selling her DVD in our adult magazine section. She went from nice to nuts instantly.”

Paris, 23, was reportedly concerned some of her “young fans” who shop at the store might see it and get the wrong impression of her. And she added that she felt betrayed that the store would be selling the DVD even though she shops there “all of the time.”

CAUGHT ON TAPE

Although the clerk tried to appease Paris by placing the DVD in a cubbyhole, Paris saw the poster for the X-rated movie on the side of an ATM in the shop and began shredding it. Her sympathetic friends tried to help by grabbing another Hilton poster, but had to give up as it was chained to the ceiling.

As Paris paid for her magazines, she “reached across the desk and snatched the DVD out of its hiding place,” the clerk said. “She stuffed it into her purse and declared, ‘I’m taking this and I’m not paying for it.'”

The clerk said he called the police and filed a victim’s report for theft and vandalism.

If the reminder of her past mistakes was not enough, six days later on Dec. 21, Paris was again subjected to embarrassment. As she signed autographs outside trendy restaurant Koi in L.A., one fan surprised her by asking her to sign what appeared to be a slightly risque picture of herself.

With the smile quickly disappearing from her face, Paris tore the photo and got into her car.

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2005

04

Jan

I am – We Love Lindsay Lohan

AOL Music loves Lohan and so do we…so I guess we have something in common. Although i think we have diferent reasons. They have some of her videos and an interview so you can see her fake sing…but we still love her

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Jewish

If you are jewish like me, you will love this site. Their motto is “A website even your mother would love” so it has to be great right. Dont miss the fun and games section!

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Sex Change Testimonial

You need to read this site…it’s the best thing I have come across all year! Sex change operation testimonials. Ridiculous!

“PARTS ARE STILL SWOLLEN BUT THAT IS TO BE EXPECTED”

“He is my most recent sexual reassignment surgeon. I trust him. ”

“soon after my return home, I discovered my vagina was too shallow.”

“Cosmetically the appearance of my vagina is convincing and I am able to urinate in a steady stream with no problem”

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Chloe Sevigny’s bathing suit

First she sucks dick
Then she joins the circus

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Chloe Sevigny's bathing suit

First she sucks dick
Then she joins the circus

HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Topanga

Did you ever watch the show Boy Meets World? Did you ever fantasize about stroking the kid for the wonder years in ways you wouldn’t want your dad to know about? Either did I you fucking pervert. But I do remember the love interest in the show was a girl named Topanga.

What I didn’t realize is that she is Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas.

Fergie – HERE
Topanga – HERE

This is bigger than Marilyn Manson being Paul from the Wonder Years…this is the kind of hard hitting journalism that makes you friends.

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Nicky Hilton Upskirt

Taking after her sister, Nicky decides it’s time to show the world that she doesn’t need to respect the hem-line of her outfits. She’s all like “paris shows the world her snatch in a movie that made her famous, and then follows up with countless panty shots/nip slips, well it’s my turn now!!” So she goes out, with a crew and a sexy little number and is all like “look i wear panties too”

Nicky Hilton Panties HERE (Getty Images Yo)

In other news, she is having sex with a 14 year old boy, I think this may be malcom in the middle…here

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2005

04

Jan

I am – ENVYLA

I have never been to LA, I have made this clear before. I have never been to clubs, I never get past the doorman because of the homeless look. My ripped soiled jeans, and the lack of showers I take, not to mention my low income prevent me from seeing these girls. Thanks to the crazy people at this site who made a calendar of the hottest girls who work in LA clubs. If you’re cool you will recognize some of them from partying one night and being completely blown off by a whore of a waitress, for the others like me, let’s hold hand and dream

Envy LA Calendar – HERE

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2005

04

Jan

I am – Bacardilive.com

I was just surfing alcohol sites, because that is what I do. Since I can’t afford the brand name booze, I like to cock tease myself. I know I drink a ton of alcool, and any other moonshine/bathtub whiskey, but a man is allowed to dream, isn’t he? I would compare this alcohol surfing to an old impotent man surfing teen porn, or a poor kid checkin out the Gucci website or the Ferrari website. That being said, the hottest thing right now in alcohol is the BacardiLive site. It takes a little bit of work to get in, like entering your birthday and shit, but if you click on the “Picture” section you will see a ton of hot girls you would never have a chance to seduce…so if you are lookin for hot pics go to BacardiLive, the best ad campaign I have ever seen.

HERE

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