It’s always a great time when you decide to leave the house because it is your birthday and you’re forced out of the house by the one person who still cares it is your birthday, because the older you get…the less people give a fuck…even when they have facebook birthday updates…it’s a selfish world….and really […]

It’s Memorial Day…why am I doing the links? Oh right…because I am Canadian…and even if I wasn’t Canadian…I am anti social and hanging out with people, even in bikinis, would be very tedious and boring for me – and I’d rather be on my couch looking at my wall – because that’s really living.. Luckily […]

I like telling girls who are dressed in leggings to not bend so deep when reaching for the peanut butter – I’m wearing sweatpants and don’t want to get a boner,it’ll be embarrassing in more ways than I’m prepared to be embarrassed – while pointing at my dick in loose fitting, soiled, ripped sweat pants […]

Diary of a Facebook Prisoner: Jesus Martinez DAY 25.5 in Facebook Jail I decided I need to re-connect with the college crowd, since they don’t use google, or visit websites anymore…I don’t even think they use facebook, not that that would benefit me at all, seeing as I’m banned there another 4 days, after 25 […]

If you are trying to have an after party with a couple of random drunk 20 year olds you met at some party… Do not try to rope them into the hang by telling them that you’ll pay a homeless man to fuck a big mac then eat it, for the big mac….because homeless people […]

I would say that life, whether in the summer or not, is not that exciting when you’re a hermit who never leaves your house, and just sits on your encrusted, soiled disgusting couch waiting for either death or something interesting to happen is depressing… But, I get too many nudes to notice…because nudes are the […]