My quest for sobriety has come taken a small detour and I blame the bottle of vodka I just finished. I was asked by someone the other night at 4 am, how I manage to write blogs while wasted when they have a hard enough time just checking myspace/facebook, I asked them if they’ve ever […]

I got in a fight today with my wife because we never do anything romantic, so I went into my box of sex toys some company sent me that I think could be defective and tried to attack her with them as she napped. I didn’t try to shove them in her or anything, for […]

So I am getting fatter than I have ever been – mainly because I eat badly, drink too much and sit all day, while trying to think of something to write here, my last good pair of underwear just split in half when I stood up and that means that from today onwards, I will […]

So it turns out that my host just dropped me as a client today, which is the first time someone’s ever refused money from me, except that time I tried to get a stripper to put my beer bottle in her ass, but that’s not really part of their job unless you have lots of […]

I was applying for welfare and they made me take an aptitude test. I tried to fake it as best as I could, not because I really wanted to, but because whenever I get formal questionnaires I feel like it’s my duty to fuck with the form like it was a hooker and I had […]