I am doing a bad job of playing it cool with Candice Swanepoel, cuz if you actually read this site you will know that earlier today, I decided that I wasn’t going to make this an unofficial fan site for the bitch, even though I’d like it to be, cuz she’s perfect…because that would be weird and ruin all chances of ever tricking her into having sex with me, cuz my kind of fan behavior, is often criminal….sure, I like to think of it as passion, because when you find a special sex kitten you want to pet all day…you give it your all…but the law is less accepting of those things….

The good news is that I can always masturbate to her pics…and so can you…Here she is being the best damn model around for some campaign I like….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

I have debated turning this site into an Candice Swanepoel fan site, you know devoting my life to following her around the world in the creepiest way possible, but realized that eagerness will work against me, likely get me arrested, possibly a restraining order and in no way will it get me inside her pussy, unless I see a window of opportunity where her bodyguards let their guard down and I sneak attack….but that, along with running a fan site for her is some serious weak game…and I’m lazy…I will just embrace the fact I will never fuck her and jerk off to her Victoria’s Secret pics to get back at her, even if they are boring, instead.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel is pretty perfect….except for the AIDS shit that annoy all South Africans when I bring it up…because unlike Candice Swanepoel, they didn’t get the fuck out the first chance they had….but instead they stuck around risking HIV transmission every time they dance too close to someone, share a drink, get sneezed on, hold hands, or sniff dirty panties/bike seats…..She’s fit, she’s rich, she’s hot as fuck and even when posing in boring catalog shots…I want to get her pregnant….and I hate babies, pregnancy, but appreciate hot pussy and K-Fed’s work ethic….and sometimes that overpowers all….

Boring pics, hot women….get up on it.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

I hate Victoria’s Secret, but I can stare at a half naked Candice Swanepoel for days, I know this, becasue I have done it. She is perfection and the benchmark I put all girls against, so if you don’t think you are as good as she is, you probably aren’t, and I think it is important you know that makes you less of a woman…sure someone will fuck you, someone will knock you up, but you’re never gonna be the hottest person to them…you got a life of feeling inadequate ahead of you….but don’t worry, so do I….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel is so good at Bikinis that she gets paid for the shit, but unlike someone who hates his work, you know since her work involves getting half naked, she just fucking goes at it for free, pretty much giving all her paying customers the finger, saying “you motherfuckers pay me 15,000 dollars a day for shit I do for free”….and I am just glad she does, because she’s pretty perfect…all girls should look like this and if they don’t, it is our job to encourage them to stop eating Fast Food, to develop an eating disorder, to hit the gym and to make magic….or just fuckin throw the fucking towel, get pregnant by a willing man, cuz there is always a willing man desperate to fuck anything as to not live a life alone, there’s no point in trying anymore cuz Candice Swanepoel wins….you fucking loser…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel is pretty fucking substantial….as much as I try to make fun of her being HIV positive, despite being white South African, and thus rich South African and not HIV positive South African, even though she was exported from South Africa like a blood diamond she is, all valuable and cut….I just always fail….because she always wins….and makes me a weak man….I am just mesmorized by her everything….photography tricks or not….

If the Muse pics bore you – I don’t see how they can – but You Know All Fashion High Fashion and thus homo – here’s a video of her on the beach – I love her.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

Sometimes I wonder how many Candice Swanepoel posts I can do in a year before the site turns into a Candicee Swanepoel fan site, because I hate to admit, I am a fan….but not for any real reason other than the fact that she gets half naked, she isn’t fat, and she’s got a good face….I mean that’s the extent of what I know about her…I’m not a weirdo who tries to get her at her core and really understand what brought her from AIDS ridden South Africa to America, but I will assume it was blood diamonds, or something even more horrible and corrupt….Victoria’s Secret….

That said, here are some pics of her in lingerie, cuz that’s her job, and a big reason why we like her, and the only reason we know she exists…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel