Candice Swanepoel Archives - Page 34 of 34 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

19

Nov

Candice Swanepoel is Amazing in a Bikini of the Day

Someone commented on the site yesterday something along the lines of “Ashley Tisdale has a better face than Swanepoel”, I assume it was Ashley Tisdale, because anyone who reads this site knows I find her the fucking ugliest, and anyone with a penis knows that she’s not in the same fucking league as this Bikini model and really when you look at pics of this bitch, how do you even notice she has a face….I mean she’s the kind of girl who I’d ignore the South African flag tattooed on her pussy, or her South African Passport, or any South African warning signs that maybe, just maybe she has exchanged fluids with someone who has AIDS since everyone in South Africa has Aids, while trying to crawl into her pussy, because AIDS or not, when it looks like this, everything just seems like it’s gonna be fine…Seriously, she’s good.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2010

20

Sep

Candice Swanepoel in Latest Victoria Secret Catalog of the Day

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All these photoshopped, Victoria’s Secret catalog, bikini and lingerie pics look exactly the fucking same….It’s like if you were to go through your cum filled pile that you’ve been collecting the last 2 decades, since you subscribed with a fake chick name, you will see that very little changes from then until now. It’s the same poses, different pussy, similar lingerie, all pretty tame with the nipples and pussy lip photoshopped out, to keep it wholesome….

But the good news is the bitches in the shit have always been pretty fucking hot and seeing them half naked under any conditions is better than not…

Here’s some Candice Swanepoel from South Africa taking over America like it was Blood Diamonds…or the Apartheid…or high AIDS Rate….cuz she sold her soul to the Victoria’s Secret devil and I guess with tits like this, I’m glad she did, even if her tits look like they’ve been drawn on in this shit…

It’s like groundhog day, but luckily the scenery’s good enough to put on repeat…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2010

08

Jul

Alessandra Ambrosio and Candice Swanepoel Half Naked of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t know if I have posted these pictures before. I don’t know when they are from. I just know they are of Alessandra Ambrosio and Candice Swanepoel, two girls who spend most of their professional life half naked whether in lingerie or bikinis, making identifying their work pretty hard since it is all the fucking same, but not the kind of same as when your wife always makes the same fucking thing for dinner, you know the kind of same that makes you hate something cuz you’ve had too much of it, this is the kind of same that is always amazing, no matter how often you sit it cuz they are fucking hot, so I figured I might as well post them even if I’ve posted these or similar pictures like these before, for what feels like the first time, cuz that’s just the level of quality this pussy has…it never gets played out, except maybe to their boyfriends and husbands, cuz bitches, when not in pictures, no matter how hot, tend to be annoying…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Candice Swanepoel

2010

01

Jun

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures of the Day

3 Comments »

Candice Swanepoel makes me want to save the money I make collecting cans to buy a plane ticket to South Africa because apparently, the white pussy that escapes and makes it to America is pretty fucking hot, I don’t even care that the nation they are from has the number 1 Aids rate in the world, I think that just makes them more exciting to fuck, because you assume they don’t have AIDS, but you just don’t know, because despite how hot they look, it only takes one open-sore handshake with a local merchant, or one crazy night getting gangraped by tribesmen back at some South African frat party to pollute this pussy….not that fucking her is really an option, which I guess is probably a good thing based on statistics, but at least we can stare at her bikini pics, cuz the only way to get AIDS from looking at bikini pics is if you’re doing it while fucking a crackwhore up the ass without a condom…

Posted in:Bikini|Candice Swanepoel

2010

16

Apr

Candice Swanepoel’s South African Pussy in a Bikini of the Day

8 Comments »

This South African was getting paid 10,000 dollars a day when she was 16. She’s 21 now and probably makes a lot more than that now…and as much as I had encouraging hot girls and letting them thinking they are worth more than they actually are by paying them to stand around, that kind of money gives them a huge ego,

Cuz I know if she was just on the beach in South Africa with her friends, or in a bar, she would have been easy to bang, all it would take is a couple of spiked drinks, but now her security detail gets in the way of that….cuz she’s all fucking posh and shit…but at least she’s actually hot, cuz I get a lot angrier about this shit when the bitches with egos, thinking they are hot a great cuz the media tells them they are, when they are actually ugly and wouldn’t be worth fucking if I had standards….or if they weren’t the celebrities they have become…in a “I’d fuck her cuz she was in Precious” kinda thing….

Posted in:Bikini Model|Candice Swanepoel|South Africa

2010

15

Apr

Candice Swanepoel Pussy Definition in GQ South Africa of the Day

7 Comments »

The nice thing about South Africa is not just good for the surfing, or the apartheid era where blacks didn’t have the same rights as whites, but also because the white pussy that makes its way out of there and into the mainstream American world look pretty fucking good, but you can’t base a country’s pussy on two hot famous pussy that made it’s way out of the country, I mean take your small town for example, to an outsider, we all think America has good pussy cuz of the bitches we see on TV but the second you roll through a dinner in upstate New York, Florida or pretty much any tate,all you see is a sea of obesity and white trash….but as far as I’m concerned South Africa is a magical place of beautiful oceans and diamonds with 9% of the population white, 80% black, 31% of pregnant chicks are HIV positive, where Jews get stabbed in national parks …filled with poverty, crime and disease…and the 2010 Woldcup but most importantly Candice Swanepoel….and here is her pussy definition in GQ South Africa….

2010

24

Mar

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

2 Comments »

I was talking to a girl the other day who was going through her Victoria’s Secret catalog and I had a flashback of when the Victoria’s Secret catalog was the closest thing most men had to porn. I remember ordering the shit to my shithole apartment under a woman’s name because I didn’t want people working there thinking I was some kind of queer who buys women’s underwear, when I really just wanted it for good old fashioned jerking off…It was a simpler time where I didn’t have to dig through porn sites for something I haven’t already seen or something I am not already bored of…back when a little leg, midsection and cleavage wasn’t pathetic to cum to…It’s like they brought bikini porn into the home…a campaign for bikinis I got nothing by love for….

Whenever I think of how Victoria’s Secret has campaigned so hard to get bikini pictures into our everyday life, I remember the time I campaigned for bikinis…sure I was working on getting mandatory bikinis back when I volunteered for a senior aquarobics class and I was tired of seeing the bitches in this awkward one-piece suits with skirts attached the shit like they were 5 despite being 80. I tried for the whole “you are what you wear, so dress young and it will make you feel younger and all the youth are in 2 pieces and if you dress like an old lady you feel like an old lady ” kind of logic, but I ended up getting fired proving that you can get fired even when you’re not getting paid….

Posted in:Bikini|Candice Swanepoel

2009

29

Dec

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures of the Day

8 Comments »

Candice Swanepoel is making her way to the top of the bikini model ladder and rightfully so. I’ve been saying that Marisa Miller bitch and her hard skeletal face needs to retire her hard fuckin’ body and make way for fresher, less menopausal pussy and I guess this is Victoria’s Secret not so secret answer. This South African, like so many other South Africans, who constantly remind me that I should be living in South Africa, because all their South African pussy is this solid except for the South African pussy with AIDS….

Either way, I know you prefer jerking off to your comic books and videogames, because real girls are scary, but the good news is that this Candice Swanepoel is pretty much just pictures on your screen and will never turn you down, because you will never have the chance to meet her, so give her the orgasm all over your screen she deserves….

Posted in:Bikini|Candice Swanepoel|Model

2009

27

May

Candice Swanepoel in Some Topless Pics of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s some lingerie model topless. I know tits are an amazing thing that make a girl far less interesting than she was before I got thru the padded bra only to discover she is actually an A Cup forcing me to hate jerk off on her tits to teach them a fuckin lesson about lying to me, not that I am a big tit lover, but because I just like the truth..

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Topless

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