Yesterday I posted a picture of Candice Swanepoel who I thought was spelled and pronounced Swanpool along with a bunch of other Victoria’s Secret pussy for some photographer. I’m a first mover like that, you know releasing pics before they are released for no one to see cuz I am the only person who visits this site and I don’t get credited for shit, ever. Even when I get sued by celebrity trash trying to get famous by leaking nude pics, my name is left out of the press. It’s like they want to make me disappear, you know rob me of the free press throwing my life away for this deserves…and by that I mean, here are the rest of the Candice Swanepoel pics, cuz along with the rest of the world, she’s my favorite one of these “coming to America” whores….

Especially when she’s topless or naked….

Here’s her nipple ring.

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Mom Jeans can be hot…on the right mom…or young girl dressed in them…you see they ride an ass proper…they hug a pussy proper…but the second they are on a bitch 5 pounds overweight or more…shit reminds me of the pregnancy gunt that never went away…and that my wife refers to as her panty pillow…something that makes me want to vomit every single time…especially when the panties come off and I am forced to deal with the awkward way it hangs over her actual vagina…like some kind of science experiment gone wrong…only instead of it being a science experiment..it’s my fucking life…if you know what I mean…

If you don’t, I’m trying to say like leggings, these shit are hit and miss and really depend on the vagina they are hugging…and in this case…they are done right..thanks Candice Swanepoel for the fashion lesson that is your hot little ass….unfortunately her last name reminds me of a shit covered pig in the backyard…but that’s can’t ruin a hot little ass…

Bonus – Victoria’s Secret just releases their extended Spring 2011 commercial…and despite being annoyed by them all being the same…and no wheels being re-invented…because I guess they don’t have to be….I’ll post it anyway…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

Candice Swanepoel, who is probably the model with the most hype of the year, was hired by True Religion , as the face of the brand, which was probably a pretty smart move, cuz now such fashion forward sites like DrunkenStepfather.com are writing about the news cuz we like seeing the bitch in short shorts and exposing her stomach but not as much as we like seeing her fully naked ….

I write too much about this bitch , it’s like shit happens every fucking day, I’d rather be giving her a sponge bath with my tongue, but I guess I take what I can get….

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This photoshoot for Vogue Italia is kind of a scam…not because they didn’t go through with getting Candice Swanepoel , a model at her fucking peak right now, topless….since that’s kinda what she does…being a bikini and lingerie model…who has got naked in the past ……and I’ve pretty much become best friends with her Amazing Nipple …but because in a shoot of 20 pics, only one is topless…when they all should have been…this is fashion we’re talking about..Vogue Italia shoulda known fashion is about less clothes…isn’t Italy the fashion hub….seriously more nipple..gotta keep things controversial…pushing the fucking limits and shit…

But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m pretty much sucked in by her as a brand of pussy I’m into…even if it’s got South Africa baggage like HIV and apartheid….and all that other good stuff…cuz she’s good stuff…and I’d like to be fucking good stuff…

PS:

@hornylohanwanker -> She’s smoking for you but there’s no red lipstick…I do the best I can #justnotgoodenough

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Christmas is over Candice Swanepoel.

I don’t know how they do it in South Africa with your tribal rain dances and shit. But I think it’s time to get with the fucking program. Sure, half naked is good all the time, but when you’re half naked theme is 4 days too late, it’s hard to appreciate the amazing pussy barely being hidden, cuz the timing is all wrong….

Sure, busting out the Christmas lingerie after Christmas is only funny once when you’re dealing with down on her luck hooker could only afford the slutty Santa costume in mid-may cuz it was on sale and that is only amazing cuz you know you’re dealing with a discount pussy who will do everything you need within your budget, I expect more from model pussy…

Fuck you Victoria’s Secret. You make too much money and own too much good pussy. I hate you and your made in China shit.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

These lingerie photoshoots are repetitive maybe, amazing, obviously.

I can’t hate these Victoria’s Secret photoshoots, even though they all look the same, they lack creativity, they are cookie cutter formula where the pussy is interchangeable, but I love this Candice Swanepoel, especially when she is half naked. She is a hero who escaped AIDs in South Africa, to be in an overpaid bitch in a thong all over the internet, showing off her amazing ass, while making me stare at my wife and hate my life because seriously, the fact that she doesn’t look like this, is fucking with my ego and any man who isn’t with a girl who looks like this is a failure. Realize that motherfucker and enjoy your miserable existance that eye candy like this may or may not soften the reality blow….cuz sometimes fantasy can carry you through everything…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

I spent at least 10 minutes today looking at pictures of a fat girl in her bikini, making these pictures of a tight, amazing, model bod ass a nice breath of fresh air…even if they are exactly the same as every other bikini catalog picture out there….It just just reminds me that more pussy should come packaged like this…and some scientists seriously need to figure out how to designe pussy to look like this cuz I’m tired of pussy coming any other way….even if Candice Swanepoel statistically has HIV cuz she’s from South Africa and that’s just what the numbers say…I’d still like to crawl up inside her, even if it means impending death…not that AIDS is really a death sentence at all…you can live at least 20 years…

Either way…here are the pics to inspire you to hate your wife more than you already do….

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Yeah, I realize that I posted a Nude Candice Swanepoel earlier today, but after those pics, I haven’t been able to stop giving thanks for her not being raped and murdered in some South African race war, or that she hasn’t died of AIDS, or been eaten by a giraffe or by ebola or whatever the fucking dangers of living in Africa are, it is Thanksgiving after all….

I feel like I have posted these pictures so many times before cuz they all kind of look the same and I guess there’s real problem in that. Keep ’em comin’ is what I say.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

I posted the video of a shy and embarrassed Candice Swanepoel checking out this V-Man spread for the first time cuz it brought back memories of video taping 18 year old everyday girls banging my dick unprotected while drunk, only to show them the video a week later or the next day, loving the horror in their eyes, unable to accept that they did what they did, only to negotiate what it would take to get me to delete the shit….usually with more hot sex….it is one of those “OMG, I totes can’t believe I did this, I’m such a slut, but the money was good, so I guess that makes me a whore” situations….and I fucking love it…especially cuz her I want to segregate and separate her South African pussy from her South African ass with my tongue like it was the Apartheid….but I’d have to run her thru a few AIDS tests, I’m dumb and I’ve made mistakes cuz I love unprotected sex, but I don’t usually play against the odds like Africa Aids Rate intentionally when given the option…When I hear Africa, I try to blindly shove my dick in the box no matter how nice the box is decorated, if you know what I mean…

Here are the pics she got so shy about….They are pretty amazing…I’m sold…forget what I said about running her through AIDS tests…cuz I’m ready to roll, HIV or not, I’ve lived a long enough life of misery…this would be a good finisher….enjoy.

As far as I’m concerned, this is what fashion modeling is all about…bitches getting out of clothes….amazing…

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