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Archive for the Alessandra Ambrosio Category

2013

20

Dec

Irina Shayk in the Hottest X-Mas Video Ever of the Day

Irina Shayk is the Russian bride model who did it right. She didn’t marry some loser divorced fat american for her papers, she went for the money and fame, and used it to leverage a model career that has probably given a lot of boners because she’s fucking perfect…especially in the is Holiday video, even though Russians don’t celebrate Holidays, that shit’s not communist…but being hot as fuck and performing perfectly is…and that’s just what this girl does…I mean that accent…fucking genius….

If that’s not good enough for you, you’ve got issues but here’s Alessandra Ambrosio not pulling it off quite as well – but still worth looking’ at.

Thanks Love Magazine for consistently killin’ it with your holiday advent calendar filled with top models…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Irina Shayk

2013

13

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio Big Cleavage for AmFAR of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio went to an AIDS charity event showing off some tits…tits that may inspire you to go and hire a discount hooker to fuck to get AIDS of your own…to both get off and hope one day she comes through your hotel room on her charity tour…or maybe, she’s just into the amFAR AIDS charity because it is one of the it events to be at every year, but I like to think it has more to do with Brazil being the source of a lot of AIDS in the world…those damn trannie pros with their anal tears…ruining it for everyone…

Either way, cleavage may not be as exciting as it was 20 years ago, we’re the mouth rape generation, but it’s still good enough to look at…

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

13

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio for The Edit of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio is a bikini model, so these pics of her modelling bikinis in The Edit may be shocking to you.

This is like Kim K releasing another sex tape, or Beyonce giving away an album because no one would ever by her shit, she’s got a lot of money, coupled with her thinking she’s a patron saint sent to rule the world with song, thanks to an ego that’s been fed more than her fried chicken ass and all the publicity upside it comes with….

Only the bikini model version, which is a lot better than shitty self righteous bottom feeding cunts, because because bikinis models are angels sent from heaven…and Alessandra Ambrosio is one of the leaders…

She also leads in mom here to show other moms they are fat and lazy and that their banding together to perpetuate a lie that it’s ok to have pregnancy weight is in fact not ok…and I like that about her…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

04

Sep

Alessandra Ambrosio in a Bikini of the Day

Here’s today’s philosophical question:

If a bikini model, who makes millions of dollars, puts on a bikini in her spare time, does she make a sound?

I’m going with yes, she totally makes a sound and I don’t mean the sound of her mom pussy flapping in the wind now that her labia aren’t taped down like they are in her pro shoots, I am talking a multi million dollar making body half naked….for free…this is like when hookers get too beat up to collect pay only without all the negative energy….

Yes, I just said that.

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

19

Aug

Alessandra Ambrosio is in a Bikini of the Day

In case you were wondering where Alessandra Ambrosio was, and I know you were, because you are weird and you wonder about these bitches when you’re not masturbating to them, since your life fucking sucks…She’s in Greece and that doesn’t mean she does it Greek, but having a couple kids probably means she does, because even the biggest vagina misses the tightness their wife once had before making the stupid decision to have kids…a vagina that is luckily wrapped up in her bikini so we can focus on her amazing baby momma recover…rather than that fleshy womb hanging halfway down her thigh, as most mom pussies work….

TO SEE THE BIKINI PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

02

Aug

Alessandra Ambrosio’s in a Bikini Like It’s her Job of the Day



The best thing about a model, especially a bikini model, in a bikini, is that she does it so well, I mean that’s why she gets paid all that money to do it…

The worst thing about a model, especially a bikini model, in a bikini, is that she’s on the beach with her kids, reminding me that under those bikini bottoms she’s wearing for free, is a ravaged mom vagina, that isn’t all that tight…cuz no kegels can really restore a vagina to it’s original form despite what moms will tell you, as no girls, not even those who bang black cocks, ever want to admit their junk is stretched out like a animal pelt being turned into a pair of fine italian shoes…

I don’t know what that means, but it made sense at the time I wrote it. What I do know is that this is the bikini model equivalent a dentist doing free dental work for homeless people, or some doctors doing doctors without border, or some lawyer helping out some ghetto mom on welfare for free…you know some community, pro-boner shit, only the bikini model’s more about the pro-boner than about actually helping anyone with her “life work” of standing around lookin’ pretty…a contribution to society, one could argue is not quite a contribution.

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

29

Jul

Alessandra Ambrosio in a One Piece of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio must be on her period, you know feeling a little bloated, or maybe she’s on vacation and hasn’t been working out, getting soft….or even worse, maybe she’s all pregnant again, broadcasting to the world that she doesn’t care about her vagina, she wants to shred that shit, even though it’s critical in making her money in the tail end of her modeling career….or maybe, she’s decided to take up competitive swimming and this is her uniform, because that is the only acceptable way to justify the one piece…I mean at least for a fucking lingerie model, who should be half naked, while the other moms, who should be in a one piece are in a bikini. What does it all mean? Where did it all go wrong?

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

30

May

Alessandra Ambrosio for Vogue Brasil of the Day


In case you were wondering, Alessandra Ambrosio, unlike the girl I saw at the Airport in a Wheelchair….has LEGS….

Legs that I would love to wear as a scarf, you know so that mom pussy acts as a gas mask for me to try to breathe into…even if it is so far dead and a lost cause…I am willing to try…I have hope…because unlike other mom pussy this one’s ass has bounced back from the pregnancy…and that is good enough.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

22

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio Can Suck Her Own Dick of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio is so bendy she can suck her own dick, I mean provided she had a dick, and wasn’t a top lingerie model with a couple of kids, who like so many other women, just do yoga, which happens to be porn to me, and can touch their fucking toes with their faces, in ways that shit is erotic and exotic and unhuman, especially married to a woman who can’t even wipe her own ass….

All making me question my existence, my choices and why I’m not in a Yoga class right now, daily, with all the moms trying as hard as they can to stay sexy. Not because they have million dollar modeling contracts like this one, but because they can’t live with the idea of losing their sex appeal while their husbands are fucking the maid, nanny, secretary, young and eager new sales girl on the team, etc. or more importantly, with all the 20 somethings, who just want to look good in leggings and choose yoga as their outlet…

I’m too lazy, so I’ll just look at pics rather than actually living it….good enough for me..and my lifestyle choices.


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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio