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Archive for the Alessandra Ambrosio Category

2013

29

Jul

Alessandra Ambrosio in a One Piece of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio must be on her period, you know feeling a little bloated, or maybe she’s on vacation and hasn’t been working out, getting soft….or even worse, maybe she’s all pregnant again, broadcasting to the world that she doesn’t care about her vagina, she wants to shred that shit, even though it’s critical in making her money in the tail end of her modeling career….or maybe, she’s decided to take up competitive swimming and this is her uniform, because that is the only acceptable way to justify the one piece…I mean at least for a fucking lingerie model, who should be half naked, while the other moms, who should be in a one piece are in a bikini. What does it all mean? Where did it all go wrong?

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

30

May

Alessandra Ambrosio for Vogue Brasil of the Day


In case you were wondering, Alessandra Ambrosio, unlike the girl I saw at the Airport in a Wheelchair….has LEGS….

Legs that I would love to wear as a scarf, you know so that mom pussy acts as a gas mask for me to try to breathe into…even if it is so far dead and a lost cause…I am willing to try…I have hope…because unlike other mom pussy this one’s ass has bounced back from the pregnancy…and that is good enough.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

22

Apr

Alessandra Ambrosio Can Suck Her Own Dick of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio is so bendy she can suck her own dick, I mean provided she had a dick, and wasn’t a top lingerie model with a couple of kids, who like so many other women, just do yoga, which happens to be porn to me, and can touch their fucking toes with their faces, in ways that shit is erotic and exotic and unhuman, especially married to a woman who can’t even wipe her own ass….

All making me question my existence, my choices and why I’m not in a Yoga class right now, daily, with all the moms trying as hard as they can to stay sexy. Not because they have million dollar modeling contracts like this one, but because they can’t live with the idea of losing their sex appeal while their husbands are fucking the maid, nanny, secretary, young and eager new sales girl on the team, etc. or more importantly, with all the 20 somethings, who just want to look good in leggings and choose yoga as their outlet…

I’m too lazy, so I’ll just look at pics rather than actually living it….good enough for me..and my lifestyle choices.


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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

13

Mar

Candice, Karlie and Alessandra are Together in Bikinis of the Day

Those who model underwear and bikinis together…stay together…because they are paid too much to really relate to other people…but more importantly…they make up an exclusive secret society…that is corporately owned….up on some stepford wife shit…where these robots that are awesome to look at…go where they are told…either solo or as a group….in efforts to take over whatever room and peddle cheap, ill-fitting, padded bras on the unsuspecting lower-middle class suburban woman hoping she’ll look as good as these girls….and as good as they look, posing their typical pose…these girls are tall as fuck, and should start up a basketball or volleyball team….that I’d like to coach and by coach I mean masturbate in the corner while they are warming up…cuz robots or not, they are total babes…

Here’s the video:


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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Candice Swanepoel|Karlie Kloss

2013

12

Mar

stepINFOMERCIAL: The Top 4 Hair Loss Myths of the Day

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If you are a guy, and you probably are, but I am not about to check…then you are probably self-conscious about one or two things….the main one being going bald…because the other one doesn’t matter so much if you do go bald…as you’ll probably too self-conscious to ever take your pants off.

Personally, I was obsessed with going bald in my 30s, …being a short, fat guy, I thought that if I lost my luxurious hair, I’d REALLY have nothing going for me….

Luckily, for me, I was able to stop my hair loss….

Here are the Top Four Myths as to why you are losing your hair:

1- Poor Circulation – so increasing blood flow to your scalp doesn’t help your hair grow.

2- Clogged Follicles – when your hair follicles are clogged, you get ingrown hair….so opening up the pores on your head is pointless.

3- Poor Nutrition – People who are healthy and take supplements still lose their hair. Supplements can’t save you.

4- Stress – the only stress to the body that has been linked to hair loss is from major surgery or cancer. Day to day stress does not make you lose your hair unless it is severe or traumatic.

The real reason why you’re losing your hair is DHT a byproduct of Testosterone. The same hormone that causes you to grow body hair and have a sex drive can attack your scalp and cause your hair to become thinner, shorter, weaker and eventually kills the hair follicle leading to baldness.

Alex Khadavi, MD, a US based dermatologist has come up with a natural answer to Thinning Hair, Revivogen… Revivogen uses natural ingredients proven to stop DHT at its tracks so your hair can grow as it would normally. For $99, you can get a 3 month supply of REVIVOGEN and put it to test. If within 90 days you are not completely satisfied with Revivogen you can return the products for a full refund…

I know that when I saw my crown thinning, and I felt like I was going to start looking like the creepy school principal pervert, spending 1 dollar a day on a possible solution would have been something I jumped on.

Find out more at the HERE


revivogen is offer stepfather readers a free shampoo and conditioner ($44 value) if you buy the proven scalp therapy that works!!!

Here is a Alessandra Ambrosio who probably prefers guys with full head of hair…..because all girls do….

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|stepInfomercial

2013

08

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima are Fun On Set of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima, a couple Brazilian old timers…have come together, yet again, thanks to the management at Victoria’s Secret…who think it is funny to listen to their Portuguese banter on set….or maybe they just like the way their South American asses compliment each other….but whatever the reason it’s all keep all those pesky white girls out of this one…today is fisherman friday….right…cuz all portuguese speaking people are fishermen…even then Brazilian ones….right? And all South Africans have AIDS thanks to losing their virginity to the black farmhand and/or blood diamond. And all the Eastern European ones are communists. And all the Americans get paid too much cuz they already have their citizenship and don’t need to eat shit for a greencard…

Whatever the reason behind this glorious union….shit remains a glorious union….of ass


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Posted in:Adriana Lima|Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

07

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikinis it Up for Money of the Day

Unlike you, Alessandra Ambrosio gets paid to prance around in her bikini….so you’d think looking at pics of her in a bikini would be uneventful, typical, even boring….because we’ve seen it all before…but I like to think of it as watching a great juggling act more than once…or listening to guy playing the same guitar solo on repeat….only the bikini version…

Sure it’s familiar…it has been done….but it just speaks to your soul like a magical angel sent from heaven to watch over….more importantly….it offers us a baseline to compare the women in our lives to….to feel inadequate….but content knowing that this kind of mom body exists…even if the closest we will get to it is masturbating to it….

She’s a babe….she’s in a bikini….she’s getting paid…and we’re all assholes for celebrating it like it matters…but I’ll still celebrate it like it matters….cuz I have nothing else going on.

Here’s the video…


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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

20

Feb

Alessandra Ambrosio for London Fog of the Day

There is something totally erotic about a girl…or a model…nude in her raincoat….like some kind of creepy flasher outside the playground….only way thinner, more luxurious, classy and with less cock….

Alessandra Ambrosio, a lingerie model by trade, is the spokesperson for London Fog…and she brings a nice amount of that half naked sexiness to the mix…but maybe…just maybe I’m a pervert who finds anything with a vagina…even just an alleged vagina….exciting….even when passed out and covered in feces……

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

12

Feb

Alessandra Ambrosio Amazing Nipples for Terry Richardson of the DAy

This video and photoshoot of Alessandra Ambrosio in Terry Richardson’s studio doing a fun little video of her breaking through a photographer’s backdrop…..while wearing a hot little wife beater…with her nipples shining through….is a reminder to that Alessandra Ambrosio is very real…..for that fat chick who told me that Victoria’s Secret models aren’t real, especially post pregnancy but that Adele and Kelly Clarkson are real, and not just real lazy and real eaters, really into food….

I don’t even hate that this girl has a kid…cuz she puts work into her body and shit…I’m into staring at it….

Amazing.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio