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Archive for the Miranda Kerr Category

2014

01

Dec

Miranda Kerr in Love Magazine’s Advent Calendar of the Day

The Love Magazine Advent Calendar that comes out every year HERE has officially started….and their first instalment was Miranda Kerr, who I guess they were giving a gift to, by putting her in something that at this point is relevant, that stars all the hottest models, and despite being old, useless, over and done and no longer part of an evil empire thanks to bad behavior, Miranda Kerr’s been given this olive branch, you know to make her feel like she’s still got it, still matters, and I like to think it’s all because of her breast implants…either way…it’s the Christmas Season…get ready for lonely girls looking for sex because they have no family…I know I am….they won’t look like Miranda Kerr, but they may have vaginas and that is usually all it takes to be good enough..right…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

26

Nov

Miranda Kerr Poses With Herself for Glamour Spain of the Day

Miranda Kerr is some home-wrecker, ex-Victoria’s Model who once was with a famous actor making babies, because it was marketable, but boring, so she then fucked Bieber, and got fired from Victoria’s Secret, who has since been forced to figure out this cold scary world all alone, if you consider dating billionaire boyfriends who probably pay her lots of money, thanks to having some level of success, fame, money and child support, of her own, making her essentially a prostitute….I think she’ll be ok…at least looking at her ass in Glamour Spain…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

05

Nov

Miranda Kerr for Wonderbra of the Day

Miranda Kerr is working for Wonderbra, because I guess Wonderbra wanted to give a fuck you to Victoria’s Secret by stealing their model – who they want nothing to do with since she’s a hooker….because Victoria’s Secret stole everything from Wonderbra…you see, if you know anything about bra wars, and I do, because I used to jerk off to bra catalogs when porn wasn’t accessible…Wonderbra dominated the good push up and cleavage…then Victoria’s Secret came in, destroyed, conquered and left Wonderbra for the 40 year olds…who missed the low grade Victoria’s Secret movement that is all hype…for nothing…when really we should focus on the slave labor they use to make your 50 dollar thong..

Doesn’t matter, either does Miranda Kerr..

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

02

Oct

Miranda Kerr’s Butt Shot of the Day

Everyone is freaking out about Miranda Kerr’s cleavage…while I am more into her butt shot that she posted…mainly because tits can be bought…and I guess in Miranda Kerr’s recently divorced and recently fired case…were bought…so that her billionaire boyfriends who have her on payroll have something to play with when she rolls through for her pay check…

You see even the models who work and have money do the whole sugar baby thing…and I guess when you look like Miranda Kerr, and you made all this money from your humble Australian roots, directly propelled to a celebrity of her own, all from selling her body to brands…selling her body to billionaires doesn’t even feel like she’s selling her body at all..it just feels like she’s worth it…and maybe she is…I know..this ass pic is pretty amazing..

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

31

Jul

Miranda Kerr Not Topless Enough of 7 for all Mankind of the Day

It is kind of funny to think that two homos are fighting over this girl, considering she’s not even that hot, and there are a million girls out there – that both of them could fuck – even the one who was married to her should know by now that she’s old fucking news. Even the brand that created her knows that she’s old news. She’s just a really really overrated…ex-Victoria’s secret hooker…which is kind of part of the job description, but they don’t really like to advertise it when said hooking happens with dudes who look 14…while you’re married…it’s bad for their “We are in every mall in America catering to everyone in America” branding…in fact they frown on you when you do that…and even fire you when you do that.

That said, she doesn’t need Victoria’s Secret, or Bieber or Orlando Bloom because she’s stillgetting work…this time topless for a Jeans company…just not topless enough because I can’t see her nipples.

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

25

Jun

Miranda Kerr’s Nipples for Elle Spain of the Day

I don’t care, so you probably don’t care…but Miranda Kerr brought out her implants in some fashion magazine that I assume she wasn’t paid for, but instead did because she can now show her nipples whenever the fuck she wants, as she’s not tied down to that pesky 3 million dollar Victoria’s Secret contract that was really holding her back in her career and not allowing her to do free shoots, when taking time off from fucking multiple billionaires…

I’ve heard she’s a horrible person by people she works with. I believe it. She’s got a weirdo face…but she is still an ex Victoria’s Secret model like Gisele, Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks before her, I am sure her demise is going to be just fine…and as long as there are nipples…I’ll notice, despite not caring…I’m just that kind of guy.

Apparently I POSTED THESE IN APRIL …I am better at this than I thought I was…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

12

Jun

Miranda Kerr Titties for The Edit of the Day

If you’ve been wondering what Miranda Kerr has been up to since being fired from Victoria’s Secret for not being the wholesome mom they wanted her to represent, because she was busy being a horrible person banging someone who looked like he still breast fed and needed his mom…a little Bieber 2 years ago…

Well she’s been fucking billionaires as models do, she’s booked some campaigns and is still making money, not that she needs it since she fucks billionaires…and she’s also showing her new fake tits in some random magazine…but without the nipples…because the scars are probably healing…

I don’t know why I’m posting this alien…but I am.

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

14

May

Miranda Kerr is Low Maintenance of the Day

She’s so low maintenance that she needs a team of people to make her look like the bitch you see in the pictures…

But more importantly, she’s so low maintenance that billionaires wrestle over her…

Because models are only models in hopes of landing billionaires who want to add them to their collection..

Because billionaires really understand the needs of models, and models understand that billions of dollars buys nice things..

I’ve heard nothing but bad things about Miranda Kerr…and I believe them all..

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2014

02

May

Miranda Kerr for UK Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

I don’t know why I like watching Miranda Kerr collapse.

Is it because people I know who know her hate her. Is it because I think any bitch who fucks Bieber is a child molesting weirdo even though he’s over 18. Is it because I secretly hate Australians, since an Australian broke my heart, is it because it’s always nice to see someone who thinks she’s hot struggle when the company who made her fires her, is it because she shows nipples…

Her struggle has hardly been a struggle and involves booking better gigs than ever…and her showing more nipple than ever is probably over, the struggle is no longer real, now that all these companies signed on with her…and paid her big…

She’s gonna get through this…it’s gonna be ok…child support alone…from Orlando is good…working is just for fun…

Posted in:Miranda Kerr