I wonder what percentage of people have jerked off in the changing room of a department store to a bag of Hanes cheap undershirts….I am thinking at least one weirdo has done it….while thousands have probably used their cheap undershirt to clean off their cum after sex, not that you have sex, but it’s something normal people do…and or jerking off…something you lost jobs because you can’t get enough of it…you weird, lonely, pathetic fuck…

Well now you can jerk off to Alessandra Ambrosio, a mom who peaked 10 years ago as Victoria’s Secret’s newest model, in t-shirts..

I have no idea why you would based on all your options…but I like to facilitate the weirdos…

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Alessandra Ambrosio is too old for this kind of behavior…sure she’s the original Victoria’s Secret model from Brazil…I mean besides 60% of the other models they’ve used from Brazil…but she’s still too old for this model shit…

I may not be into Alessandra Ambrosio, but I do find it interesting that as a Brazilian, there is a 92% chance that she’s got a dick and that her kids she had as a good Catholic girl were bought in some Brazilian village…with Victoria’s Secret money….I mean if that was the case, it’d make her more interesting….than her breast implants do…

I guess this one’s for the foot fetishists – they love all feet…

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I used to work in an office filled with what were called metrosexuals, it was the late 90s and that was a thing.

They ran the gayest website of all time, I mean other than gay porn or gay content, since it was designed for the everyday man…but in all their going to the gym to shower together, while dressing in what they thought made them look GQ, getting their hair done, shaving their chests, talking about how to pick-up girls using their tactics, when really just wanting the gangbang to have an excuse to play with each other’s boners, in what was Euro homophobes, where the gayest dudes play hetero….leaving me to wonder “why do they hate gay dudes so much, when clearly they are the biggest fucking faggots around”….

Well back then, Cristiano Ronaldo, was their idol, they fucking loved this guy, they dressed like him, wanted to be him and there was no way they didn’t want to fuck them in their weird way – while he would probbaly fuck them because when he’s not pulling the Leo with models like Irina Shayk, and now Ambrosio for GQ….Euros…

Here are the pics…

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Alessandra Ambrosio is in a bikini. She’s a bikini model. This is some inception shit. Or as the tumblr kids would say “meta”….and it looks like she’s not even getting paid…this is like a doctor going to surgery at the grocery store just for fun…

I am not into Alessandra Ambrosio, but I do find it interesting that as a Brazilian, there is a 92% chance that she’s got a dick and that her kids she had as a good Catholic girl were bought in some Brazilian village…the plot thickens…and so do her tits…thanks to breast implants.

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Alessandra Ambrosio’s breast implants are clown-like…

These are tit tits that get paid millions of dollars a year to be put in a bikini..along with an average looking 35 year old face…

Yet they are so clown-like…

Just little round bolt ons she probably paid 5k for, making for a solid ROI, paid for themselves dozens of times over….

I’m not sure if the tits happened post baby deflated from all the milk sucking…or if she’s always had them…

I’m just not impressed when fake is celebrated or hired and paid stupid money…especially when fake is THIS fake…like circles drawn onto her…in a world where there are thousands of actual great tits better suited for the contracts she’s been milking, something she can’t do with her tits, since they are plastic, all these years…

Yes, I hate fake tits…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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If you’re interested in Kazakstan fashions…here’s Alessandra Ambrosio, a lingerie model, being as slutty as she can for these Arabs / Russian / Asia border…becuase you don’t want to offend the wrong person and have them go shoot up your planned parenthood….

I would make a Kazakstan joke, but I think Borat built a fucking career on that, so we can just stare at Alessandra’s old mom face and remember that all things die.

Maybe it’s better that she’s in winter gear…you know save the half nakedness for the youth who have replaced her…

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I guess there is no loyalty in the model world, or maybe there is no exclusivity agreement, or maybe Victoria’s Secret owns H&M, because why else would they allow a model they created, promote their shit, even if she’s got two kids and is on the verge of irrelevance….

I can only assume this is a “we have a dozen hotter and younger girls than Alessandra, but we’re in contract with her, let’s present this H&M gig as a deal to her, in our model trade wars, and make her think we’re trying to give her the best deal, when really we just don’t want her in VS anymore”…

Because when you’re a model, interchangeable, you don’t fuck with your lifeline, so this is their doing…and why VS would want to give her to H&M is simpe…she’s old and a mom….

I hate bikini ecommerce catalog pics..but here they are…

If you’re more into her in MAXIM, here that is…naked with fake tit…

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Alessandra Ambrosio wore old lady pyjamas in her latest magazine spread…because I guess sometimes…usually after a couple of kids…the lingerie, if you can call Victoria’s Secret lingerie model…needs to tun in the sex appeal…and act her mid 30s mom age…there comes a time where the companies don’t want her in the micro G string…but more the flannel, sick with a cold, on a winter day look…and I guess she’s pulling it off…if comfortable pyjamas are something anyone would want to pull off…it is more the “you’re jerking off to porn while I’m in the other room watching a movie, because I don’t fuck you on pyjama day”…it’s either period, menopause, we’re in a fight…I don’t fucking know…but no sex is happening…and who even wants sex with this pyjama wearer…she’s pretty expired and anyone rich enough for her to date..is probably out there fucking the younger versions of her…I know I would be..unless she had dirt to black mail not black male…me…

Who knows…this doesn’t matter…

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Alessandra Ambrosio celebrated her 90th birthday by doing a shoot for Maxim, like it was 1996, with Gille Bensimon, who is a great photographer, but also who peaked when he was married to Elle Macpherson in 1990…making this like a throwback thursday on a tuesday…where she’s showing her ass and titties…

I don’t really get the direction of Maxim, who before they got bought by some rich kid from Texas, who may or may not be an arab…(oil money)….would send me lawyers letters like little pussy bitches…”why are you posting and promoting are photoshoots you jerk”….even though they used to buy traffic from me…so confusing…but not as confusing as Alessandra Ambrosio still…

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