Audrina Patridge may be a fucking gutter pile of shit of a human….she may have done nothing of substance or value to society….she may just be filler silicone filled garbage dump of shell of a human….who sold her soul to be on some shitty MTV show because it was better than being a hooters girl….and now she lives a better life than any of us….and has a great body living it…..How can you not be a fan….

I don’t know what these pictures are from, but I do know they are like the annoying engaged couple pics you see on people’s wedding sites, all cheesy and humiliating as fuck, as they pretend to be so in love….even though we all know it will end in divorce…or if we are lucky, murder suicide!!

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Remember mentally challenged, retard, Audrina Patridge from the worst MTV had to offer, back when MTV felt the world was filled with mindless retards and shoving this kind of garbage down their throat would shut them up and make them consume products from their advertisers….something that I am sure they still feel, but that luckily Audrina Patridge and her shitty show isn’t a part of, because they are the fucking worst….and despite being the fucking worst, in everything she does and represents, from teenage implants to being a fame whore…she does have a pretty great body when you strip her down and get her posing, even if her face is a little inbred.

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I used to hate this Audrina Patridge chick. You know, when she had a job on a hit show and thought she was at the top of her game. She was overexposed in all kinds of magazines, turning down Playboy offers despite her fake tits, because she though that it was only going to get better for her…

But now that it hasn’t, seeing her unemployed and paying the paparazzi to follow her on the beach, cuz she still has a hot body, all in efforts to have one more go at things, is almost desperate and depressing and that’s an aphrodisiac for me…especially since she’s got a hot body.

I guess this post is a little reminder to us all that she lives….not that we care.

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Audrina Patridge is still at it…take that haters who thought her stint on The Hills was all she was good for….you know those of us who thought she was just a half retarded chick with implants her dad bought her cuz he had no hope for her to achieve anything beyond stripping….well guess what…she’s booking really prestigious jobs…like running pool parties in her bikini at Foxwood’s Casino…rocking Indian reserves harder than a bootleg cigarette vendor shack…it’s the fucking Vegas of the the North East that trashy fat old couples go to cuz they can’t afford vegas….haters….you just have no idea what’s up…or what making career moves is all about….this is not prostituting yourself for a dollar…you’re just a bunch of haters…now look at her fake tits…they are all that matters.

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Audrina Patridge should do porn. I’m not just saying that because all girls should do porn…because I want to watch all girls fuck….I am saying that because there really is no where else for her to go…I think she could excel at getting groups of men to cum on her….she already has the fake tits…and there would be a reason for her to be on camera….you know in a place where she’d be wanted on camera…Overall, it would be great for her self esteem…it would allow her to re-invent herself as her own person, who isn’t some retard on some horrible reality show no one remembers…who has already gone onto Dancing with the Stars or in her case the nail in her coffin before she’s 25…You know it’d be bringing her back to a place she likes without us wanting to punch her in the fucking face….cuz even if she’s a bad fuck, I’d be into it….seeing these bikini pics….are just boring.

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Audrina Patridge was in a bikini with her boyfriend…showing off her fake titties like they matter….but it turns out that they don’t…She’s pretty much peaked in terms of her celebrity…it is all downhill from here….she’ll get older and fatter….she’s already done Dancing with the Stars, the general public don’t even remember there was a show called The Hills, and I assume the next substantial move by her is when she makes the news when she dies….

But she’s in a bikini

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I don’t know if you remember Audrina Patridge. She had one of those low impact celebrity careers that was more of a gentle stroll around the block that lasted under 10 minutes…with low intensity and not very much noise….but if you don’t…she was an MTV creating on a show called The Hills…where she played the half retarded bitch with implants her dad got her at 18 cuz the half retarded wasn’t really her playing…it was real life…and he knew with tits came opportunity to pay her own rent….

Well she hasn’t run out of money yet, cuz she hasn’t released a sex tape, but she will eventually, and while we wait for that, here she is in a bikini in Vegas celebrating her birthday…because Vegas is the home of anyone who has fallen off in LA….cuz they need party hosts for their crowd of idiots to feel like they are around fame….even if that fame is barely fame….but implants in a bikini….

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Unemployed for obvious reasons….like the fact that she has no talent, that she’s s nobody…that her only redeeeming quality is a set of fake tits…that anyone with a rich dad or a saving’s account and a hatred for their tits can compete with her on…not quite a skillset….I mean with a resume that consists of being on one of the worst shows to ever hit MTV, in fact one of the worst shows in the history TV, where she was a secondary character in what was to be the pre-cursor to garbage like Jersey Shore….you know….the shit that paved the way for shit like Jersey Shore to actually exist….clearly giving her a lot time to eat…cuz those thighs aren’t looking 20 anymore….they’re saddle bags the come with a slow metabolism and broken fucking dreams…..but she does still have that rich dad and fake tits….thinks will work out ok for her….there’s always sex tapes, stripping, going back to her naked for the camera whore roots….but lets just hope she scales down the eating and hits the treadmill before that happens….cuz she’s gone downhill…as most girls do…..but she’s half naked in her bikini and I’m not complaining….or maybe I am….I don’t know….I don’t even know what day it is…

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Audrina Patridge got work! If that’s not important news I don’t know what is…I mean based on CNN covering the Whitney Death like it was a fucking war or natural disaster….I would have just assumed they’d push some real stories aside to let the world know half retard face Audrina, who everyone who knew she existed thought was gonna take her earnings from a shit show we’ve all forgotten, spend it all and end up stripper with the fake tits her dad bought her in order to get famous, or as a back up plan to pay her bills when he died, is promoting some men’s fragrence in Vegas….Big fucking news that would be better news is there was some scandal or nudity involved….

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I don’t have access to the accounting documents or year end reports over at FHM, but I think it is safe to say that no one buys their magazines anymore, and their slow and useless attempt to go online, just never really gave them the glory they once had, since everyone any their younger brother can produce drivel content about nothing and post it next to pics of bitches in their bikinis….I mean this video had 4,000 views when I pulled it and it’s been up for 5 days…and features a once famous bitch hardnippled…that’s fucking embarrassing perforamnce…useless FHM shoulda kept advertising on DrunkenStepfather.com…

See, the only thing these Maxim and FHM sites ever had going for them was the access to celebrity bitches they had….They consistently had hot bikini photoshoots with relevant people….but I guess as budgets dropped so did their talent pool…cuz seeing Audrina Patridge, a virtual nobody, who had her 15 minutes, that unfortunately lasted 2 years try up a year ago…by now she should be doing porn not magazine covers…I mean shit, I bet I could get Audrina to do a shoot for DrunkenStepfather.com….and I would only pay her in cum shots….if you know what I mean…

That said, here’s the photoshoot, you’ll unfortunately like it, taking her one step backwards from the porn career she should already be milking like a cock.

So much fucking bottom feeding everywhere I look…it’s coming at me from all fucking angles…

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