Blowjob Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

16

Jun

Milley Cyrus Blowjob Picture of the Day

There is a picture of Miley Cyrus or at least a Miley Cyrus lookalike giving a blowjob circulating the internet. There is no way in fuckin’ hell I am posting that shit because I know I’ll be the motherfucker they make an example of and kiddie porn’s not something I want to be involved in, it’s some serious offense and even if the girl is a little teenage cock loving whore, who throws her mouth on any fuckin’ dick, you still can’t fuck with it. Even if you meet her in a bar and she tells you she’s 18, only to bring you home to her parents house, like some kind of Trainspotting shit, only real fuckin’ life, you still get fucked from both fuckin’ angles, so I’ll just let you assholes google that shit and find it. I will let you know, it’s not that eventful, it may not be her, and it looks like the Disney dudes didn’t teach her about ass play.

I guess this post is just a cocktease, while for the most part so is a teenage slut. Get used to it.

Posted in:Blowjob|Miley Cyrus|Picture

2009

29

May

Lisa Rinna Demonstrates How She Launched her Career of the Day

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Lisa Rinna is on a book tour to promote her new book called “Use My Face Lips Like They Were My Vagina Lips” and it’s about how she got and maintained a career in Hollywood.

Here she is reading a chapter on technique that has proven to really work for her and can’t help but acting it out for the 3 perverts who happened to already be in the store when she got up to speak.

Posted in:Blowjob|Lisa Rinna|Tits

2008

25

Aug

Sophie Monk and Her Blowjob Stance at the Hair Salon of the Day

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Sophie Monk is a slut proven by this blowjob face you know she’s trying to pass off as a yawn. She’s the kind of girl with dick on her mind, you know trying to figure out who next to hit up to propel her fame to the next level so that she’s as relevant as Paris Hilton. You know her boyfriend’s ex-vagina that he’s dropped her for, giving as all an idea of how shitty Monk actually is in bed, because we all know how shitty Hilton is in bed and I guess she’s just practicing so the same mistake doesn’t happen again. You know I said You Know a lot in this post. I am so crazy when it comes to words. Watch out.

If you’re wondering why her name is tattooed on the back of her neck, I have no idea, but can only assume it’s part of her marketing plan, you know when a girl tells you shit like “don’t forget this face” or “keep my signature because I will become famous and it’ll be worth a lot one day”, only the “remember this name” as you’re pulling on her pony tail and fucking her from behind passive aggressive version….

Either way, watch her get her roots done, cuz she’s no natural blonde.

Posted in:Blowjob|Hair|Sophie Monk

2008

13

May

Miley Cyrus Rocks The Mic Like a Slut of the Day

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I know some of you sick fucks have have some kind of fantasy of slamming Miley Cyrus because she’s an underage slut on Disney who makes a ton of fuckin’ money and that gets you off because you always had a thing for all things Disney like the poor lonely woman down the hall from me who started collecting everything and anything with Mickey Mouse on it after her husband died. It’s a little fuckin’ weird sickness but not as weird as Miley Cyrus’ busted up face.

I think the real reason you should want to get in her pants is to prove that her wholesome Disney Christian life is bullshit because she’s one of those sluts who tries to pretend she’s all for God all while her boyfriend’s dick is in her wholesome Christian ass because anal retains virginity or some shit and God likes Virgins.

The other reason you should want to get into her pants is the excitement that comes with an inexperienced mouth when that inexperienced mouth should be deemed an illegal weapon as shards of teeth come at you from every angle. It’s like playing some kind of videogame only more exciting cuz shit’s real life and has some serious consequences. Unfortunately that Miley Cyrus mouth isn’t all that inexperienced as one would hope in trying to sacrifice their penis by letting her suck it, because it is the tool that got her to this level of success in the first place.

The point of this post, is to say that you shouldn’t want to have sex with Miley Cyrus at all, she’s only 15 and more importantly she’s fuckin’ ugly. So let her be a slut amongst executives at Disney and boys her own age, it won’t be long before she’s getting naked legally.

Posted in:Blowjob|Miley Cyrus

2008

20

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Sex Tape of the Day

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There was a rumor that Lohan had a sex tape with Callum Best, one of her many boyfriends and people are saying that this is a cell phone pic of her suckin’ dick. I am surprised Lohan actually sucks dick, I took her for the kind of girl who just lies there and lets you do things to her because she’s either too drunk, too lazy and too into herself to care about making you feel good, kinda like thinking she’s doing you a favor for letting you into her sacred place that so many others have ventured into, making it about as sacred as a seat on a city bus, but since it’s expensive and she’s famous, it’s far more luxurious and that’s something you should consider yourself lucky for getting a piece of….

I can’t make out whether the shit is her or not and all these sex scandals bore me because I’m not the one starring in the videos with these famous bitches, but if I was you would all love the way I awkwardly grab women’s tits before giggling and hiding under the sheets because I am shy.

Either way, here are her hard nipples on their way to a private jet….obviously a lesbian private jet…that’s why she’s got the boots on….