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Archive for the Candice Swanpoel Category

2010

18

Mar

Candice Swanepoel Dances in Esquire of the Day

Esquire got a hoit model in her underwear and I didn’t…so here’s their video and not my video because the only person I seem capable getting in their underwear is me and if that is a struggle and probably doesn’t smell or look this good……

Posted in:Candice Swanpoel|Dance|Esquire|Model

2009

09

Dec

Candice Swanpoel’s Swimsuit Shoot of the Day

She’s one of those hot white girls from South Africa who I want to fuck, only I’m not too sure if she has AIDS or not and I’ve got this new thing of only fucking girls who are HIV positive cuz I’m doing my own scientific research to see just how hard it is to contract the shit. I’ve been told by a few people that AIDS doesn’t even exist anymore and I figure the only way to be too sure about that is to hit the fucking streets and since I’ve never used condoms, they get in the way of feeling good, I’m pretty much ready.

See Africa is all about the AIDS, just ask U2 but I hope that doesn’t mean burning Candice Swanpoel’s bathing suit bottomes instead of selling them on ebay…cuz there is no AIDS strong enough to keep me from sniffing that shit til I get a nose bleed….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Candice Swanpoel|Photoshoot|swimsuit