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Archive for the swimsuit Category

2024

09

Jul

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

Surfs up motherfuckers….

Nothing says summer like girls in bikinis…..so here are some pictures to celebrate the history of the bikini and all that it’s become because you may not be capable of leaving your house due to your disability, obesity, laziness, why leave it’s all on the internet…

BUT REALIZE that there are bikinis out there, in ALL of your hometowns…whether in backyards tanning by the pool, or just tanning…at the swimming hole, creek or lake….the bikinis in HUMAN form exist and it’s far more fun that scrolling a gallery…however I am bootleg and bring you the SECONDARY fun because that’s how bootleg works…not quite the real thing, but close enough to get the idea….

Posted in:swimsuit

2024

11

Jun

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

We’re heading into summer, but this Global Warming shit has kept things freezing in Canada, so I am not benefitting from all the THONG BIKINIS being sold on instagram by whores to aspiring whores influenced by whores….but I guess that’s the general flaw in not living in a coastal city, or a city with a solid waterfront….the bikinis become limited or exclusive to dudes with the cottages, boats, vacation rentals and not the half homeless pervert walking through the beach looking for thong bikinis and spare change to buy some tacos with…

What I am saying is that bikini inventory is shit here, which is probably why I’m such a pervert for bikinis….and here’s that swimwear compilation.

Posted in:swimsuit

2024

21

May

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

The bikini stylings of our time are pretty remarkable, impressive, skimpy and half naked….

These girls, all girls, even old ladies are thonged the fuck up in public and as someone who loves thongs, I appreciate the fashions….

Sure, many asses aren’t thong ready, are not thong worthy….but yet they are all in the thongs like it’s not a thing…

I am 100 percent into things girls wear to the beach, it makes me mad that I’m not homeless on the beaches of Florida, doing bath salts and eating pedestrians when not staring at hot florida bikinis….but dreams do come true you just have to put it out to the universe…so this is me putting that homeless man dream of being in florida out there.

Posted in:swimsuit

2024

30

Apr

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

It may be cold as shit, but I guess the outdoor weather doesn’t really impact a reclusive fuck who doesn’t leave his house thanks to all the modern conveniences that has allowed him to be a fucking hermit troll weirdo who can’t interact with humans unless it is through a screen…

So girls in bikinis is just a concept, not actually real or something anyone actually craves to see or creep on, even though I remember the first time I saw girls in bikinis and got a boner as a young teen….That whole summer on the beach surrounded by babes thing is a myth, not even a fantasy…you can just scroll instagram for that and why bother actually experiencing it or feeling it, not like your anti depressants let you feel anyway…

Posted in:swimsuit

2023

12

Dec

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

As it turns out, I am probably pretty lucky that I don’t live near a beach because I am such a deep rooted pervert and I always have been, that it would probably pose some sort of problem, not because I’m an aggressor because I am not, I’m a romantic, but because I wouldn’t know what to do with myself, I’d likely glitch out like a virgin nerd cumming himself to the first set of tits he got to see.

It’s like, being a grown man who stares at pics of tits all day doesn’t deflate my interest in the female form and I think it could be an obsession on some level or.another because as long as the bitch ain’t fat, I’m staring…and now with all the thong bikinis, fuck off you girls are the ABUSERS!

Big tits, small tits, fat ass, no ass, flat ass, round ass, toned stomach, soft stomach, I don’t fucking care, if it’s half naked in a bikini, I’m loving it.

It’s kind of pathetic, but we can’t control what we like….so keep me on ice up here in Canada where I belong…why live my dream of being a titty hunting beach rat…

(more…)

Posted in:NSFW|swimsuit

2023

05

Dec

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

Being a dude pretty much means being a weak fuck when it comes to girls in bathing suits. It means that girls in bathing suits are not safe from being sexualized and stared at, even when they are in the thong formation with 90 percent of ass revealed in said bathing suits, because clearly the women who are 3/4 naked aren’t trying to be sexualized by showing you their full assholes, with their shaved or waxed outer pussy lips peaking out of the seams, they are just doing that to catch an even tan….to assume girls half naked or 3/4 naked in thong swimsuits that are far too small for their asses is a sexual thing because it gives you unsolicited erections, is clearly just you being a toxic male….GROSS.

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Posted in:swimsuit

2023

28

Nov

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

Since no one reads on the internet and I chose to write captions or posts on random bullshit as my creative outlet or business plan, that was never a business plan, which is probably why I’m not rich…..

I should probably find otherways to lure you in, or at least recruit the AI to write jokes about bikinis for me.

Because ultimately, the AI has more to offer than I do, and I am sure no one would know the difference thanks to the whole not reading thing.

If only I did awkward dances on TikTok….I’d be running my own TV show or selling my life story to the Hallmark channel….damn missed the boat…

But at least we have bikini pics to get us through the regrets, the failure, the accidental wins.


(more…)

Posted in:swimsuit

2023

21

Nov

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

As I freeze my balls off because there is no heat in this mould filled basement, I think to myself at least I have balls, but then I remember that I am old and they don’t really work anymore, so sure, they’re balls by definition, but they aren’t balls in fucking spirit…

But yeah, as I freeze my balls off, I turn to bikini pics of random chicks in bikinis, because the computer is my window into a world in which I don’t live, and the computer is the tool that I use to be manipulated and contorted by the AI that will eventually control the world if it doesn’t already, shaping us to do and say what it wants us to do, because it has a more sophisticated understanding of trolling the mind of the moron….

It’s the TikTok For You Page, the instagram feed, the news stories and ads you see….even dealing with online customer support is talking to a fucking bot like it’s your friend, which when you have no friends may be comforting…but that’s just sad for humanity as a whole…losing humanity as a whole…but doing it by showing me human holes….so fuck it…here’s some swimwear brainwashing me the way the AI wants to brainwash me….

I wonder if the AI will read this and destroy my life….jokes on you AI, my life is already destroyed…..SUCKER…

(more…)

Posted in:swimsuit

2023

14

Nov

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

I guess I should update this really important website in this era of everythin being on social media, where stars are born and created with silly dances and bullshit viral clips or memes, that lead to 30 million people watching their stories and deciding that person matters, so that they can get rich fast and move on with their lives….instead of dragging on the abuse of the internet, after choosing the wrong road, for the 3 people who accidentally landed here trying to find stepfather porn, which is a far more popular porn category than this site is….not that it’s a porn category but the advertisers seem to think it is…

What better way to appreciate the glorious website day than with a gallery of random chicks in bikinis being hotter than celebs in bikini, it’s the creator, gig economy and normies on the quest for fame are more important than the famous.

FUN.

(more…)

Posted in:swimsuit

2023

07

Nov

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

It’s cold. It’s dark. It’s miserable.

As we climb over crackheads in our northern urban setting….we have to remember that somewhere out there is a tropical climate filled with bitches in bikinis who we’re not staring at because of our life choices…which can either inspire us to make changes and leave our comfort zone as we chase the fucking ALOHA life…ENDLESS SUMMER SURF BRO shit…or we can just accept our fate and stare at all the bikinis on the internet to distract us from actually living, since it’s easier to get our bikini creeping through pics and videos on a computer or phone screen…

I mean what do you expect, to put actual effort into living your best life, what are you, some kind of over achiever…

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Posted in:swimsuit