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Archive for the Cameron Diaz Category

2009

05

Mar

Cameron Diaz Dance Off of the Day

I am done with hating on Jimmy Fallon. I was talking to some people and they all thought he was garbage, his jokes were ripped off the internet, his interview skills were fucking shit and awkward, they reminded me of a bad job interview with a 7 year old, his skits were forced, but we all agreed that he is going to be bigger than Conan, because he’s an idiot, his set is nicer, he’s been in movies and SNL and people watch movies and SNL so he’s a bigger star that Conan, but after 3 days of sending him hate messages on twitter, I realize it is a losing battle, so I can stop going to my neighbor’s house to watch him crash and burn, which is a good thing because I think my neighbor’s into me in a way he probably shouldn’t be, but he sits on the couch right next to me and I catch him staring into my eyes when ever I look his way. He’s not gay or anything, I guess his life is like prison, you know since no woman will get with him.

Last night, he had Cameron Diaz on and this shit video is her hot dancing. He went to twitter to ask his followers for questions. My question was:

@jimmyfallon ask her if your show made her cry on opening night, not cuz her ex was on, but because it was miserable TV.

It wasn’t chosen.

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|Dance Off

2008

22

May

Cameron Diaz is Bald on Set of the Day

I am not entirely sure why anyone gives a fuck about Cameron Diaz, the good years are pretty much far behind her and now she’s getting casted to play mothers and not the hot slut everyone wants to fuck. So seeing these pictures of her in movie make-up playing a mother who shaves her head for her dying kid, and actually pretending I give a fuck isn’t really possible. It actually makes me hate celebrities and hollywood more than I did yesterday. I understand that movies are make belief and just a form of entertainment but people get so fuckin’ involved and caught up n the shit because their lives are so useless that seeing people in fake scenarios moves them. The only reason I am posting this is because I know a few of you have fantasies of banging a cancer patient because you get off on how they are too weak to turn you down when you drunkenly force yourself on them, and I am not posting this because I find the pictures hot or important because it’s all a bullshit lie and when the shoot is over she takes off the skull cap and goes back to her indulgent life, instead of going home to deal with her dying kid, like many real people do on a daily basis. So if anything, these pictures are just a big fuck you to everyone out there who is actually suffering and that’s more reason for you to hate this bitch and her multi-million dollar paycheck.

Posted in:Bald|Cameron Diaz

2008

04

Apr

Cameron Diaz has a Hot Body of the Day

Cameron Diaz is the new GQ cover girl and I think she’s lookin’ pretty good. She’s always had a good body with long legs and I guess that’s the reason Justin Timberlake used her to be his pretend girlfriend so that we didn’t catch onto him being a fag. You know anyone who dances like that’s either into little boys or big boys or pretty much anything with a penis and it is with my expert opinion that Cameron Diaz doesn’t have a penis but she does look like she likes penis with makes the whole thing pretty confusing to me. Since I am hungover, I’ll leave this post like this. I decided that I have nothing else to say about it. Speaking of confusing – WATCH THIS

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|GQ|Hot Body|Legs

2008

25

Mar

Cameron Diaz Buys Flowers of the Day

Here are some pictures of Cameron Diaz buying some flowers for herself because nobody loves her. I don’t actually know whether she’s got some cock or not right now, but I like it better when she doesn’t because I can laugh at her lonely middle aged self for being dumped by a young Justin Timberlake right when he was peaking with his last album. Unfortunately, she’s pretty hot and has a lot of money and that makes her better than anything I’ve ever fucked so here’s some pics of her not buying you flowers which is something you’re used to because your mom doesn’t even buy you presents for your birthday because she’s blocked your phone number even though you live in the basement, because she hate being reminded of how much of a loser you are…

Posted in:Ass|Cameron Diaz|Flowers

2007

04

Oct

I am – Cameron Diaz Doing a Handstand of the Day

cameron_diaz_acrobatic_top.jpg

I am hungover. I went out last night at 9 and drank until 6 in the morning. The problem with that is that I got no stories to tell because I don’t remember much of anything that happened. I didn’t get in fights, I didn’t start shit, I didn’t embarrass myself any more that I usually embarrass myself, I just drank amongst a whole lot of 18 year olds because I am a lot like Cameron Diaz, I figure if I pretend I am still a kid, the kids will just think I’m still a kid too, and will want my dick. Reality is that both Cameron Diaz and I are washed up, useless people, with nothing but depressing roads ahead, but delusion allows us to go on and not jump off a very high building.

Here are those pictures of Cameron Diaz reclaiming her youth by acting like she’s 5, so people overlook the fact that she’s going to be 40 soon. Point of all this is to say, she’s still got a good ass.

Related Posts:
Cameron Diaz Ass Flash on Set
Cameron Diaz is Not Bringing Sexy Back
Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore Bikini Pictures
Cameron Diaz Trying to Stay Fit

Posted in:Acrobat|Ass|Cameron Diaz|Headstand|old|Unsorted

2007

02

Oct

I am – Cameron Diaz's Ass Flash on Set of the Day

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The only thing wrong with a 32 year old bitch going through a mid-life crisis is pretty much everything, what once was tight, is now loose, and what I once considered ejaculating on, reminds me of a bowl of Oatmeal. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Oatmeal or ejaculating on it, especially if you’re poor. That shit can feed an entire family. I am just saying that Cameron Diaz is like every other single 32 year old.

People like to be like everyone else. People are drawn to what other people are drawn to. There’s a comfort in group approval and thought that makes people happy. They get excited over the same popular song or movie, they think the same girls are hot, they are sheep but they are happy being a part of the herd because it’s not scary because there’s company with them there.

I always turned my back to what was popular, not by choice but because knowing that the masses were into something was enough to turn me off of it. I’d instantly think it was lame when it hit the mainstream. I was accused of being some asshole cynic who was pretentious and purposely did it to prove a point or to purposely be different, because they were sheep who assumed I cared about what people thought of me, because everyone has to care about what people think of you, that’s what our society is based on… So the world is all about living this constant cycle of fitting in and being liked and following the rules.

I have decided today that there is comfort in cliches. Lookin’ at these pictures of Cameron Diaz’s ass exposed in the wind make me think of a washed up has been who everyone wanted to fuck a few years ago, who’s biological clock is ticking and who dated a young dude who left her for new younger pussy, leaving her insecure and forced to workout to get back on the market and bad mouth him for having a small dick, because the small dick line is the girls best defense when a dude leaves her and now she’s flashing the world her ass hoping someone will accidentally throw a bucket of cum on her so that one sticks and knocks her up so that this single depressing life she’s living and hiding behind exaggerated clown faces ends and she can just settle down and be a normal 30 something year old with a bucket of cum dripping off of her……

Here are those pics.


Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz’s Legs Pictures
Cameron Diaz’s Short Shorts of the Day
Cameron Diaz Bikini Pictures
Cameron Diaz Doesn’t Wear a Bra Pictures

Posted in:Ass|Cameron Diaz|flash|Pokies|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

02

Oct

I am – Cameron Diaz’s Ass Flash on Set of the Day

cameron_diaz_ass_top.jpg
cameron_diaz_ass_top3.jpg

The only thing wrong with a 32 year old bitch going through a mid-life crisis is pretty much everything, what once was tight, is now loose, and what I once considered ejaculating on, reminds me of a bowl of Oatmeal. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Oatmeal or ejaculating on it, especially if you’re poor. That shit can feed an entire family. I am just saying that Cameron Diaz is like every other single 32 year old.

People like to be like everyone else. People are drawn to what other people are drawn to. There’s a comfort in group approval and thought that makes people happy. They get excited over the same popular song or movie, they think the same girls are hot, they are sheep but they are happy being a part of the herd because it’s not scary because there’s company with them there.

I always turned my back to what was popular, not by choice but because knowing that the masses were into something was enough to turn me off of it. I’d instantly think it was lame when it hit the mainstream. I was accused of being some asshole cynic who was pretentious and purposely did it to prove a point or to purposely be different, because they were sheep who assumed I cared about what people thought of me, because everyone has to care about what people think of you, that’s what our society is based on… So the world is all about living this constant cycle of fitting in and being liked and following the rules.

I have decided today that there is comfort in cliches. Lookin’ at these pictures of Cameron Diaz’s ass exposed in the wind make me think of a washed up has been who everyone wanted to fuck a few years ago, who’s biological clock is ticking and who dated a young dude who left her for new younger pussy, leaving her insecure and forced to workout to get back on the market and bad mouth him for having a small dick, because the small dick line is the girls best defense when a dude leaves her and now she’s flashing the world her ass hoping someone will accidentally throw a bucket of cum on her so that one sticks and knocks her up so that this single depressing life she’s living and hiding behind exaggerated clown faces ends and she can just settle down and be a normal 30 something year old with a bucket of cum dripping off of her……

Here are those pics.


Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz’s Legs Pictures
Cameron Diaz’s Short Shorts of the Day
Cameron Diaz Bikini Pictures
Cameron Diaz Doesn’t Wear a Bra Pictures

Posted in:Ass|Cameron Diaz|flash|Pokies|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

31

Aug

I am – Cameron Diaz Legs of the Day

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It turns out that I can’t sell an ad deal for this site because the site is basically a genital wart or AIDS lesion on the internet. I never get anything out of anyone, I get rejected for events, I get rejected for interviews, I get rejected for promo CDs, it’s just constant rejection because I guess people just think I am an asshole…or a Joke or both an asshole and I joke. I need to become well liked. I am tired of people hating me and telling other people how creepy I am just because I am a master of internet rape. So I decided that I am going to start touring old folks home and put on shows for them. I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I am pretty shitty in public but I am going to come up with something good. I’ll have a camera crew following me, and by crew I mean some asshole with a cellphone video camera, but it’s going to definitely earn me some serious points in the world…When the old folks tour is over, then I hit up the retard homes, then I am going to schools to talk about safe sex, aids and not doing drugs and then I’ll hit up the prison’s to refine those cocksuckin’ lawbreakers…I will make the world a better place and you’re all going to love me, like the song they all sing on American Idol….

In the meantime….look at Cameron Diaz’s Legs because I’d still do her pre-menopausal ass.


Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz’s Ass and Legs Pictures
Cameron Diaz in a Bikini
Cameron Diaz Old Topless and Upskirt Pictures
Cameron Diaz Hot Legs Pictures

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|Hot|Legs|old|Shorts|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Cameron Diaz is Over the Hill of the Day

Cameron Diaz

A good friend of mine has had a punk band from Korea staying with him and his brother for the last 6 months. We have affectionally named them Rock Band Asia because they’re names are all fucked up shit we can’t pronounce properly because we are all uncultured idiots. They are leaving this Sunday so we decided to take them out last night to get all fucked up and let them get a taste of Montreal strip clubs. Unfortunately there was a problem at the one we usually go to, in the form of 30 fucking cops standing outside and the bouncer telling is no one was allowed in for awhile. We had to had to hit a downtown spot, and the downtown spots suck because it’s where the tourists frequent and they are way over priced. The girls are also generally pretty busted, and the club we went to was no exception.

We pay $30 for all of us to get in, plus a $10 tip to the gorilla who seated us, then pay $48 for 6 fucking beers We sit and wait for the stage show to come on. And wait. And wait. And wait. 20 min later, and 6 beers down, we still haven’t seen any tits or ass. Finally some blonde came out. She was kinda hot but a tad over the hill, and you could tell her time was almost up in the stripping world. She was the veteran in the club, not cause she was good, but because she danced in a way that you know she had been there way too long to even act interested anymore. Gone were the lies she told club patrons that was doing this to put herself through school or to take care of her kids. This bitch had accepted her fate. She was bored, and flashing her pussy and tits to a crowd of horny guys was about as exciting to her as when Mommy makes your your oatmeal every morning. The clincher came when she went to do some sort of leg-kick-move and kicked over a bunch of the drinks on Perverts Row in front of her. We all took a look at each other and that was it.

We went back to my friends house, where I proceeded to whore it up with one of the members of the band after everyone else went to sleep because my friend told me he had never slept with a white chick before and I like to be an ambassador to my country in the form of things like that. Contrary to popular rumors, his dicks wasn’t as small as I thought it would be. True to my form, I slipped out the door when he fell asleep, and stumbled back to my house in the 6 am sunlight.

Here’s Cameron Diaz. She reminds me of the slut I saw on stage the other night. Not only because they look alike, but because they are both past their prime and one box of blonde hair dye away from being completely over the hill. You’re spent baby, deal with it!

hugs and kisses
Marie-Ever Martinez


Related Posts

I am – Cameron Diaz’s Ass an Legs of the Day

I am – Cameron Diaz in a Bikini of the Day

I am – Young Cameron Diaz Topless and Semi Upskirt of the Day

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|Slut|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Cameron Diaz's Ass and Legs of the Day

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I always rip into this bitch for being old and washed up and left in the trash by Justin Timberlake for new younger and fresher pussy, but then I realized that Justin was into dudes like Jessica Biel and that he left Cameron Diaz because she didn’t have a cock and couldn’t fully satisfy his needs as the man with the high pitched singing voice and great dancing skills….

I never took the time to take a cold hard look at Cameron Diaz to realize that her legs are fucking amazing and that is why I am doing this post as a celebration of finding something you never thought was there. This is the equivalent of finding a 20 dollar bill in a pair of Jeans you haven’t put on in a year….and makes for a good end to the day….


Related Posts:

Cameron Diaz in a Bikini
Young Cameron Diaz Topless
Cameron Diaz Bikini Pics
Cameron Diaz’s Ass in a Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Cameron Diaz|Hot|Legs|Unsorted