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Archive for the Kim Kardashian Category

2010

29

Dec

Kim Kardashian is Fatness of the Day

The nice thing about Kim Kardashian is that she’s always rockin’ her Holiday weight. She doesn’t need an excuse for being fat, she’s always big, sloppy and fat, but sometimes she’s smart enough to SPANX that shit into a curvy people can get excited about, but I guess now that she’s made it, she can afford to be a lazy ball of buttery shit, especially with all the sleepless nights she’s been having working hard on her one true passion…..music….Seriously, I just read that she was on her way to the music studio, that she’s doing a collab with Kanye West, and that her new scam money making hustle is music and I have a feeling it is gonna work…..because that’s just how much America scrutinizes over quality product….in their shitty processed food and in their shitty entertainment….

Fingers are crossed that it’ll be over the second this fat lady sings….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

21

Dec

Kim Kardashian’s Mouth Full of Foam cuz She is a Pig of the Day

This isn’t really news, but luckily I don’t do really do news here. I pretty much focus my attention on the attention whores begging for it, and when I saw these pictures of 30 year old Kim Kardashian doing a keg stand with her mother like some kind of college girl who wasn’t too old, too fat and too washed up, I was forced to play out memories I have of her getting pissed on by black dudes in sex tapes…..not that I ever saw those scenes in the sex tape, but I know what a toilet for the colored folks at the back of the bus looks like when I see one, and this is prett much it…

I’ve got an issue with girls who drink beer to begin with. From my 20s onwards, unless bitch was drinking a Corona by the beach, I was disgusted by her, there’s just something sloppy about a girl drunk on beer, and that’s usually her gut she’s got hanging over her pants, not to mention her doppy face, her sea legs and the look of wanting to be loved in her eye, cuz I guess beer drunk, is different that cocaine and vodka redbull drunk, that should be kept for backpacking pub girls from the trailer park, you know those middle American not so cultured suburban trash chugging beer and not the girls I want to fuck….meaning Kim Kardashian is pretty much doing what everything about her would expect me to be doing….at least based n her body type…

I don’t know if I explained myself the way I wanted to, but what I am saying is that beer girls are pigs and so is Kim Kardashian, so it all makes sense and I didn’t have to post all those other words…about how pathetic and unerotic this is.


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Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

13

Dec

Kim Kardashian Almost Flashes Her Snatch of the Day

I just woke up.

I call Kim Kardashian’s pussy her snatch because it only gets fucked by black guys and black guys are notorious for stealing bikes in the neighborhood, when they aren’t selling crack, rapping or playing pro sports.

I guess that doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that she’s hiding her pussy even though her porn pussy is the only reason she got a TV show. Ryan Seacrest saw it he just had to give it a TV show and since Ryan Seacrest is a queer, making him not the kind of person I trust when it comes to get excited about pussy.


– To see the rest of the pictures of her Fat Ass –
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Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

03

Dec

Kim Kardashian’s Thickness in a Tight Dress of the Day

It looks like the Kardashians have a new book a hired writer ghostwrote for them, and I am kinda upset I wasn’t asked to do it. Sure, I am not a professionally trained writer, and every chapter would be about Kim Kardashian’s overeating and laziness, the disappointment of her dead father, the hours it takes her to get dolled up and strapped the fuck into a dress to no look too obese, but to instead look curvy, but more importantly about how she likes to get pissed on like the toilet of a person she is, when she’s not having a good day and feeling like a princess who deserves the fucking world, or an attention whore with an ego who wants everyone to see her fuck…all while lookin’ like a tranny rendition of Cher, which I think would be more accurate. But I woulda made it worth reading….

Here she is filling out a dress, cuz it is all she knows….and because bitch is fucking everywhere…..

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

02

Dec

Kim Kardashian See Thru Shirt with Some Fat Tits of the Day

Kim Kardashian wore a see through shirt when she pretended to go to the gym. I guess it was to show off her cleavage to distract from her short, fat legs and wide stance you know she got by not actually going to the fucking gym…cuz pigs don’t work out…they just know how to hang in sewage water, eat and get fucked by other pigs….so I guess Kardashian’s living up to our expectations of her lazy porn past…I wouldn’t expect more from her…cuz she’s pretty much bringing “A LOT”…if you know what I mean…get it, cuz she’s fat. AMazing. I know.

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Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

24

Nov

Kim Kardashian is the Human Bathroom of the Day

This is actually funny to me. It is rare that this celebrity bullshit I write about every day ever makes me laugh… There’s just not campaign that makes more sense for a celebrity to be endorsing…you know it is so appropriate that you’d expect to see this on some stupid sketch comedy shot and not in real life…it is one of those things you’d think she’d have turned down and fired her agent for the sick joke when it landed on her desk and read “you will be promoting the Charmin toilet paper’s Bathroom” campaign, in a “come on guys, the jokes getting old” kinda way, you know because she is a fucking bathroom at least when she’s filming a sex tape….and that she’s had more black man urine on her than the toilets at Cook County Jail or pretty much all prisons combined for that matter…cuz getting pissed on is just the kind of degrading she loves…not that I am against pissing on girls…I’ve done it many fucking times….but I’ve never been able to organize a special event sponsored by a toilet paper company to draw attention to the fact that bitch likes being pissed on…I’m not a celebrity with big budgets and I don’t now corporations down to co-brand with a porn slut in unprotected sex videis, but I have pointed and laughed at the slut when introducing her to my friends.

Either way, this is one of those you can’t write jokes better than this, I mean unless you’re the marketing exec who snuck this one in without anyone noticing…good work….she just looks like she feels so at home….like she’s finally found her calling….like she’s one step closer to be an honorary toilet from the toilet paper people…It is like winning the World Series or more appropriate Superbowl in her field…get it? Yeah, I know I’m a genius…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

23

Nov

Kim Kardashian Showing Off Her Tits of the Day

I don’t know why Kim Kardashian is standing next to a tall bitch painted silver, but I think it’s a mistake…this is the reason fat chicks need to be photographed with people who are either way fatter than them, or alone but next next oversized couches, chairs or other props to make us think the bitch isn’t a fucking tractor trailer of a pussy….the second they slip up and give us an actual thing to compare them to, like this tall thin model who Kim Kardashian is a foot shorter and a foot wider than, the world learns how short and thick her body is…but luckily for her and the success of Snooki, people apparently like this kind of body, despite how small it makes your penis look while trying to enter them, because I guess fat bitches are more comfortable to cry on and less likely to leave you for lack of physical ability but more importantly cuz no one wants a fat bitch…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

11

Nov

Kim Kardashian Gets Recognized for her Business Skills of the Day

What people don’t seem to understand about Donald Trump is that as much of a business man as he is…he is that much of a showman. Meaning dude’s in it for attention and that is what makes his fucking business. So associating or inviting Kim Kardashian onto the apprentice is in no way a “high five” about her business skills or intelligence…but is totally about getting ratings to his show…because everyone knows that Kim Kardashian success came with a great publicist and a sex tape scandal. She’s a fuckin’ pornstar and nothing but a pornstar and as the days go by and her work and revenue comes from legit sources…she’s still a fucking pornstar….when you lower yourself to be in the sex trade…you are always a tainted fucking pussy…..and in Kim Kardashian’s case…also a urinal.

I just had to put this out there, cuz people tend to forget…and trust me if this was your girlfriend…and you found out she used to be a prostitute…you would think about it everytime she slide down your dick….and you should have the same anger towards this twat.

End of story. Here she is in a tight dress.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

03

Nov

Kim Kardashian With a Pull Sign of the Day

Here is a fat Kim Kardashian at the nail salon getting her nails done and I am only posting these pictures cuz I thought it was funny that it looked like she had a “Pull” sign attached to her back…Sure it’d be funnier if it was a public toilet sign that read “put seat down when done” or “don’t miss the target” a tacky mom put in her bathroom to motivate her kids to stop pissing on the floor, you know cuz Kim Kardashian had a sex tape where a dude pissed on her, but pull works for me…maybe cuz I know that’s what her pants she squeezed into are going through, or maybe cuz I know her belly is trying to pull it’s way out of the harnesses she wears to look like she’s got good shape…and really who cares, I’ve already spent too much time on this…Here’s everyone’s second favorite donkey looking pornstar in denial after that one you saw in that bootleg Tijuana donkey show video…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

01

Nov

Heidi Klum’s Halloween Party and her Guests of the Day

Apparently Heidi Klum does more than just get pregnant with Seal, but she also throws these Halloween parties and so many important people, like Kim Kardashian and Coco attend. I guess that’s what happens when you retire from the scene to be a family woman. I am not sure what she is dressed as, but I do know I can’t comfortably jerk off to it without feeling weird about it….

Here’s Kim Kardashian, still looking fat, even with her legs crossed and obesity strapped up in one of those harnesses they sell to fat chicks via infomercials late at night…the corset looks like it is gonna break, these costume grade shit’s aren’t meant to be used as functional fat chick shapers….

Here’s Coco lookin like Paris Hilton with tits and just being ridiculous, not necessarily justifying why she was invited to Heidi Klum’s party, but definitely justifying why I am compelled to look at her, like the elderly woman walking around in nipple tassels yesterday, I would have rather no bother staring at her or chasing for a pic, but her old lady tits just sucked me in.

Here’s Ashanti for those of you who like thick legs on a bitch who once had a hit song….which is probably all of you cuz pussy is fuckin’ pussy…no matter how low grade the meat is, we are hungry and need to be fed, except maybe for Ashanti who looks like she’s been fed plenty and that she’ll be just fine…

Posted in:Coco|Heidi Klum|Kim Kardashian