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Archive for the Kim Kardashian Category

2009

16

Jan

Kim Kardashian is Too Lazy to Take Her Shoes Off of the Day

Kim Kardashian went to try on thousand dollar shoes because she’s rich and excessive but more importantly because fat chicks love shoes and she’s a fat chick, despite popular belief. The reason fat chicks love shoes is simple. It is the one article of clothing they can indulge in that doesn’t make them feel bad about themselves when they try them on. They are the same size that they’ve been since they were 16 and often times they can squeeze into a smaller size than their skinny counterparts. So if you ever roll past a shoe store, you’ll notice the dollar spent on shoes increases based on a girl’s weight. So seeing Kim Kardashian struggle to get her shoes off is not all that surprising, I mean as a fat person I know how hard bending can be, I mean that’s why I try to stick with velcro running shoes, because it makes leaving the house less work, you know with me on the ground trying my hardest to get to the laces, almost always ending up rolling on the floor, using a chair for support and spending way too much time doing one of life’s simple tasks. It is a serious handicap. The difference is that Kim Kardashian has hired help to remove her shoes for her, because I guess that laziness is how she got in this mess. I mean maybe I am jumping to conclusions, maybe she really got herself trapped in these shoes and they needed the Jaws of Life to get her out, like the time I drove into a lamp post while drunk, or maybe her ankles are just swollen like the rest of her. I guess it really doesn’t matter but I’ve gone this far so I might as well post it.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Shoes

2009

13

Jan

Kim Kardashian’s Got a Work Out DVD of the Day

I am hoping that this video, despite being direct from the paparazzi, is a fucking joke. You know, like the kind of thing you’d expect to find on Funny or Die or some shit, because in it, Kim Kardashian announces that she’s releasing a work-out DVD. Now, I’ve come to terms with LA being filled with these useless cunts who need to be in the spotlight because they’ve always had everything they’ve ever wanted and the only thing their daddy’s money can’t buy is general acceptance by the public, so they do these sex tapes, they host parties, they go to events and they try to stay relevant, but the idea of Kardashian doing a workout tape is like Jordan promoting breast amputation, Paris Hilton promoting safe sex, Lohan promoting sobriety, or me promoting a self help book. Maybe I’m the only one who isn’t blinded by the glitz and glam and see nothing but a fat pig of a girl, or maybe she’s trying to kill the stigma that she’s a slob of a girl and producing the shit herself. Maybe companies are desperate enough to get any name attached to their shit, but I think it’d be safe to say she’d be better off promoting an all you can eat buffet, you know the pitch could be “Obesity works for me, guys still want my cunt, try the chocolate cake it’s to die for”. I know that working out with her in your living room, is just some twisted shit that would make people like my wife happy, because my wife is fat and would feel better about working on her look with someone who is also fat, like they have some kind of rapport but she’d also be down with the exercises like lifting the chips out of the bag and into your fat whore mouth, or the getting up and walking to the door to pay the pizza delivery guy….if you know what I mean.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Work Out DVD

2009

09

Jan

Kim Kardashian Fat Ass Gets Her Nails Done of the Day

Kim Kardashian brought her ass out to get a mani/pedi in some workout gear that she clearly wears for fashion and not utility, because the last time this fat ass did anything cardiovascular it was seeing how many donuts it could swallow and by donuts I mean big black penis and the last time she broke a sweat is when the air conditioning broke last summer. But even though she’s useless, she’s still rich and managed to fill her fun filled day by taking a solid hour to make herself feel important by ordering some poor asian around by getting her to slave over her dumpy fucking feet, something some of you may consider a lesbian dominatrix experience….but I consider boring, but not as boring as this fucking post, I need to go out and get inspired….

Bonus – Here’s the Video

Posted in:Fat Ass|Kim Kardashian|Nails

2008

16

Dec

Kim Kardashian’s Brags About Her 24 Inch Rims of the Day

Nothing says you’re a useless commercial hip hop influenced, club slut, Ed Hardy wearing motherfucker, than seeing a fat chick talk about her 24 inch rims on her expensive car.

Not only do I not give a fuck about how big a person’s tires on, or even what car their privileged little vagina drives, the shit just doesn’t impress me and I don’t find it interesting at all, especially when the person in question is Kim Kardashian, who has enough money to have a custom sidecar built for her ass out of diamonds and still not notice the dent in her trust fund ass, so seeing her brag about her 10,000 dollars rim is just weak, but I guess when you have absolutely no fucking substance this is the kind of conversation you have. I am not saying that I have substance and that I am a model example of what your conversations should consist of, but I am saying that if you are a rich girl, talking about things you bought with your whore money, especially when it is about your tires is pretty fucking weak.

Speaking of weak, I hear the car needed 24 inch rims to support the weight of her and her sister Khloe, it was buckling out, so I guess it’s not very nice to laugh at her disability or equipment used to support her disability, like the time a cripple when he brags about his brand new motorized wheelchair and I told him he’s still in a wheel chair, or the guy I saw with uneven feet showin’ off his platform shoe he just picked up at the shoemaker, or even like the time I tried to free a blind guys seeing eye dog because I knew he was a free laborer and I don’t like seeing people get exploited, only the cheesy cunt version.

Posted in:Car|Fat|Kim Kardashian

2008

25

Nov

Kim Kardashian Does Ebay of the Day

So I have some fake Kim Kardashian on Facebook. The other day, some dude or creepy person who jerks off to her profile all day hoping she answers him, wrote something on her wall “have a sweet Sunday” and I responded hoping to get deleted as a friend while leaving my mark by saying something like “every day for Kim Kardashian is sweet, but that’s just because she can’t stop eating cake”, or something like that. They kept me as a friend, because I assume some bitter assistant or person pretending to be Kim Kardashian thinks it is funny, because even though they work for her, they still can’t fucking stand her and her bullshit cunt ways, or maybe there’s a small possibility it is actually her and since she doesn’t know how to read, or since it is true, or since she thinks I am complimenting her, she kept me around….

Anyway, whoever is running that facebook profile posted a link to Kim Kardashian’s charity ebay auction that I had no idea existed.

Want to buy my Range Rover or any of my cloth???
Today at 7:41am

We are on the homepage of Ebay today auctioning off some of our most prized possessions!

I’m auctioning off my Range Rover, Reggie is giving up his Mercedes and Kourtney has made her Maserati available!

Check out our auction page to get all of the details. A portion of the proceeds goes to my favorite charity, the Dream Foundation!!!

Happy bidding!

XOXO,
Kim

She is selling off clothes, shoes, accessories, and cars, like this down on her luck stipper I know, who turned to the internet to sell her used panties to perverts because she heard she can make money off it. Sure proceeds of the strippers online panty shop don’t really go to charity, unless you consider her obscene amount of abortions a science experiment, but a percentage of Kim Kardashian’s auctions go to Charity, I guess you know with being a greedy little fame whore, with all the money in the world, who probably didn’t pay for any of the shit she’s selling, it’s only natural to give 5% of the sale to fat camps, or other relevant charities, so she doesn’t look like the greedy fucking pig that we all know she is.

Here’s a Sample of some of the things she is selling:

Kim Kardashian’s STRIKING Checkered Bustier


Bid to own Kim Kardashian’s top!! STRIKING Red and White checkered top, bustier style. Demi. There is a row of red fabric covered buttons up front, center. Adjustable straps have large ruffle detail. Smocked on the sides for stretch and detail. Back zip, measures 19″ from top of sleeve to bottom. Cute and can be doubled as a table cloth, it is that big.

Kim Kardashian’s MYSTIQUE thongs


Bid to own Kim Kardashian’s top!! MYSTIQUE thongs. Named the MYSTIQUE because some of the world’s top scientists and designers collaborated in what is considered one of Man’s greatest accomplishments, to find a way to fit Kim Kardashian’s bottom heavy figure into a thong, with comfort and the safety of the people around her in mind.

Kim’s White Range Rover

Want the paparazzi to mistake you for Kim as you pull up at the club? It could happen – bid on her famous and signature vehicle, a 2006 white Supercharged Range Rover, and live the glamorous life of Kim Kardashian! In addition to the star power this Ranger Rover brings with it. Kim recently had the pink accents and trim removed to create a more stylish look. It was also featured along with Kim on the cover of the June 2007 issue of DUB Magazine.

This vehicle has been well maintained, has low mileage, and is in excellent condition. It is clean inside and out, and has been regularly serviced. The custom sound system includes two JL Audio 500/1 and one 300/4 amps, two 12-inch W6-V2 subwoofers, and two pairs of 6.5-inch compone

Reinforced Suspension to Support Kim’s Fat ass and Doublewide seats to allow her to fit in the car and feel like a normal person, instead of the fat slob that she is could be great for other people battling with obesity.

90 percent of cum stains have been bleached out.

Check Out Kim Kardashian’s Auctions If You”re Some Pervert Who Wants to Jerk Off In Her Shoe, Purse or Range Rover or if you want to see greedy rich people trying to make more money off free shit by masking it as a charity, even though it’s just another way to line her cunt pockets…There’s video on some of the auctions….I was too lazy to pull that shit and post it here, so you’ll have to do some diggin’ yourself you lazy fuck….
GO

Here’s a screenshot of my facebook stupidities….

Posted in:ebay|Kim Kardashian

2008

18

Nov

Kim Kardashian Is Fat and Photoshopped of the Day

There are a group of people out there who just don’t get it. They are mainstream, conventional and suburban. I came across one of those drones the other day and they were familiar with this site. They felt it was a great opportunity to tell me what I do isn’t legitimate, honest, honorable, or whatever other word they used, because I stopped listening. They asked me if I’d rather have my daughter marry a doctor, lawyer or accountant and I told him I didn’t have a daughter, but wouldn’t give a shit who she married just as long as she let me watch her give birth, because seeing a baby come out of a pussy, even my daughter’s pussy is like porn to me….

I was just trying to get the dude to fuck off, because I don’t really give a fuck what he thinks is legitimate, or whether he thinks what I write about is sleazy, useless drivel or porn, because it works for me. I get to sit on my ass all day, pretend I am busy, barely make enough money to pay for my server and if there is money left over, I can just drink more and not have to ask my wife to borrow shit, making her think I am dependent on her, but still remain enough of a hurtbag to not take any responsibility for myself or the family by paying for rent, food or utilities, because I just tell my wife I am working towards something, even though I am pretending and every day, the site is closer to dying, whether it is because of paparazzi agency lawsuits, FBI issued complaints from haters or not making the server fees cuz traffic is dying fast and companies don’t want to advertise…..or just my laziness….alcoholism or inability to make anything work….

But before I go, I decided I needed a purpose, something substantial, to really have next to my name in Wikipedia even though I tried to create a Wikipedia page about myself and shit got deleted, even though Perez Hilton and every other site have a Wikipedia page. I figured if I was the guy who outted something, or broke some story or even invented something, or brought something to light, then I would be legitimate, and not some hack with a really shitty computer. So that something I chose is to prove that Kim Kardashian is fat.

Now, I know it shouldn’t take that much work because shit is fucking obvious, so obvious my retarded neighbor who has the brain capacity of a 9 year old knows she’s fat, so it should be easy and easy works for me. I mean every girl I’ve ever bagged has been easy, every challenge I’ve put myself against has been easy, except for the time I wanted to walk 2 miles up hill because I didn’t have money for a bus and thougth I was going to die, but other than that, the only challenging thing I do is not drink myself to death.

So, I made the right choice in topic of study, because I don’t have much of an attention span, but I do know that every time I call this whore a pig, or fat, or disgusting, or claim she needs to work out, or get her stomach stapled like she was DJ AM or Roseanne, or Carnie Wilson, I get at least 3 emails, which is alot of me, telling me that the girls I like look like little boys, that Kim’s got some meat in all the right places and that she’s the hottest thing ever, and I just write back telling them that she’s just a product of photoshop, smoke and mirrors and you’re all getting fucked by the media.

She’s no natural beauty, she’s busted even with the plastic surgery she’s had and beyond her looks, she’s got nothing to offer the world, but leeching behavior that pretty much mocks the human race every day. There’s nothing hot about her, and the truth is that she’s overweight and in my new calling/ life work, in hopes to legitimize myself for Jewish judgemental, suburbanites trying to make their mom’s proud, who I really don’t care about, but the story fit into this post because it did happen yesterday, I came across a photoshop retouching company and guess who their portfolio guinea pig is Kardashian, probably because anyone who has seen a raw photo of her, know the work of a master needs to come in to make it worth lookin’ at…..and I ripped off their pics to prove my point that this bitch is a fucking cow, so stop emailing me about how she isn’t.

Picture 1 –

Before

After

Picture 2 –

Before

After

Picture 3 –

Before

After

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Photoshop

2008

17

Nov

Kim Kardashian Lets Her Ass Out of the Bag of the Day

I posted pictures of Kim Kardashian in some staged bikini pictures the other day, where she was covering her fat ass up because even she knows it’s disgusting, but as per her agreement with this paparazzi agency, they’ve taken the full bikini pictures, photoshopped the cellulite out, sent them to her people, got her approval and have no released them. It’s all part of the process of running the Kim Kardashian machine that has manipulated the public into thinking she’s some kind of sex symbol or some shit, and I am posting the pictures, because I hate her and everyone who thinks she’s beautiful…..when Ray J got it right the first time and used her as the urinal that she is, unfortunately something that was left on the editing room floor, because editing is really the foundation of her career and the only thing that makes her look decent enough to stomach.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Kim Kardashian

2008

15

Nov

Kim and Kourtney Kardashian and Kristin Cavallari in their Bikinis of the Day

Kim Kardashian is a fat chick who has no business being famous or landing work. The only thing she’s ever accomplished is the best damn Paris Hilton rip off out there. She talks exactly like her, she pulled off the sex tape shit like her and it got her work, like her….but that’s about all she’s done. I look at these pictures and see that even Kim knows she’s fat, otherwise that ass wouldn’t be covered up like the birth defect and result of laziness and bad eating habits that it is….but for some reason, people still think she’s some kind of natural beauty, despite not being neither beautiful or natural. Just because she denies getting work done, doesn’t mean she hasn’t had work done, this is a useless bitch we’re dealing with and as a useless bitch, everything that comes out of her mouth is fuckin’ useless…..

I guess she found a couple people who are more useless than her to hang with in their bikinis and despite hating them, I don’t hate bikinis and I am posting this shit despite them ruining this shit….

On a side note, if you’re wondering why Kirstin Cavallari is pretty much irrelevant, I think it’s gotta do with the fact that she’s got a shitty ass, a pot belly and the length of her head, is longer that the length of her torso and that’s some bobble head shit, I can’t really grasp…..oh and because she didn’t agree to do The spinoff of Laguna Beach that you may have heard of called The Hills…..because I guess she was delusional and thought she was too talented for that or some shit….

Either way, here are the rest of the pictures:

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian|Kourtney Kardashian|Kristin Cavallari

2008

13

Nov

Kim Kardashian Gets a Pedicure of the Day

Fat chicks love taking care of their feet. Every single fat chick I have met has had an extensive shoe collection, because no matter how fat you are, or how much weight you gain, you can always pull off a pair of shoes. They are the clothing article with a lot of give, because they don’t make you feel like shit when you try them on at Payless or wherever the fuck you buy your shoes you fat slob of a woman, and that’s why it is important to treat your feet like gold by getting pedicures….the other reason it’s important for fat chicks to take care of their shit by getting pedicures, is because they can’t bend over and do it themselves, their fat stomachs get in the way, so back up, or an army of Vietnamese woman are needed for back-up.

I was going to say that Kim Kardashian gets pedicures because the weight her feet have to endure has a pretty negative effect on the condition of her feet, like back when I first started dating my wife and she worked as a cashier at a department store, every night she’d take her stinky fuckin’ callused feet out of her discount shoes and soak them in our salad bowl before asking me to rub the shits, making it pretty much impossible for me to ever eat salad again, or think about, because I did used to rub them, I was more of a bitch back then and she had me by the fucking balls and I am ashamed to admit it, despite having to live with the horrible memories being punishment enough.

I am kinda losing focus here, but here’s Kardashian getting her feet rubbed for the foot fetishists…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Pedicure

2008

10

Nov

Kim Kardashian Behind the Scene at a Vegas Magazine Shoot of the Day

Watch Kim Kardashian Behind the Scenes Footage on RawVegas.tv

So Kim Kardashian considers herself a Vegas girl and I am not surprised, because she is a tacky whore, who likes tacky expensive shit and Vegas is a hot bed for half naked girls lookin’ for their big break, or a high roller to buy them champagne and designer clothes….

Kardashian was booked to do the cover of some Vegas Magazine and shit’s not very hot, but I am posting it anyway because I figure no one else is. If you ever wondered what music innovators like this cunt are into, now you’re chance. I think it’s funny to see the unphotoshopped version of her, because it pretty much proves she’s not hot and hopefully this will help other people blinded by her fat ass realize that…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Photoshoot|Vegas

2008

05

Nov

Kim Kardashian Votes Twice of the Day

So Kim Kardashian went out to vote. Unlike the general population, she got to vote twice, once for herself and once for her parasite ass she’s been carrying around and raising as her own. I know. Bad joke. It happens. Pretty much all the time.

I mean how many this lazy girl eats too fucking much and just gains weight in places guys deem sexy when really it’s just sloppy comments can I make about her. Or how many times can I go on about how she’s a useless, good for nothing whore, who fucks on camera, and gets pissed on by black guys…I bet she voted for McCain.

Posted in:Election 08|Kim Kardashian|Vote

2008

31

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Wonder Woman of the Day

Kim Karashian dressed like Wonder Woman in it wasn’t wonderful, it was a fucking disaster and the only thing that I am left wondering is how the fuck she managed to find a costume that fits her fat ass. I went through a phase where I wanted to dress my wife up as various obvious fantasies, because I thought it would make me whoring myself to her for free rent seem less like one of Discovery Channel’s dirty jobs and more like I was playing out some of my fantasies/fetishes and I could only find a beast of a woman to go along with it. Like the time I almost scored a threesome with 2 small breasted fat girls with acne because probably hadn’t showered the last 2 weeks because they were too busy eating, something Kim Kardashian know way too much about, at least that what her big dumpy ass looks like it does in this stupid costume.

For the record, I’ve seen the sex tape and trust me she’s pretty much got no super powers, unless you consider being used as a black man’s toilet a super power, or maybe her power lies in her ability to sit on her fat ass all day mustering up the power to lift her lazy self off the couch and out to an event/ the kitchen…but I don’t think it is one according to comic book motherfuckers like you….

Either way, look at the pics.

Posted in:Halloween|Kim Kardashian

2008

14

Oct

I hate Bouncers of the Day

Here’s a video of the bouncers at One Nightclub in Hollywood, where celebrities hang out, fucking up some punk who obviously did something wrong according to them at their night club. I am sure this is a shitty fucking place, where the people inside feel they are more important than they actually are, who wear Ed Hardy and buy bottles of Grey Goose, you know the 9 to 5 millionaires pretending they are partying like rockstars while charging the night to their credit card they can’t afford and end up getting rowdy enough for the staff to take them outside. Bouncers are fucking thugs who feel like they can fuck people up at their discretion, because they think that is their job and at every club, they are power tripping people who are bitter at the world because they have to deal with people having a good time, while getting paid 10 dollars an hour.

I have had my fair share of trouble with bouncers for doing a variety of things. Once I passed out puking in the bathroom of a club after being over served and the bouncer picked me up over his shoulder, threw me down a flight of stairs and banned me from coming back. Another time, I got in a fight with a bouncer for kicking me out with a hat on and I ended up trying to choke him, which turned out to be a minor mistake, because dude was a fucking ninja. Another time, they asked me to leave a bar after I purchased a pitcher of beer and when I tried smuggling it out because I felt that it was rightfully mine, they jumped me, leaving me with a fractured skull. Another time, the bouncer wouldn’t let me into a bar and I offered to pay him 10 dollars an hour to stand by my bathroom door and teach me to be a tough guy, ending up in gettin punched again. Then there was the time I called a bouncer a rockstar and it turned out he didn’t like being called a rockstar and he beat me up only for me to tell him while bloody as fuck that he just proved he’s a fucking rockstar only to get me beat down some more. I have always liked getting kicked out of clubs, especially really shitty ones, I liked getting banned from clubs a lot more because it made me feel like I left my mark, the only problem is that police never side with you after getting assaulted by these motherfuckers and you can’t sue or get them arrested for assault because the cops see them as an extension of the law and so do they. I even had a drunk friend who was walking outside a club and wasn’t even a patron of a club get beat to death, those bouncers ended up going to jail, because they were murderers bullying on some loud dude on the street where they don’t really have any jursidiction, but shit’s just representative of how they think they are O.J. Simpson and above the fucking law and I am posting this video because I hate them even when they beat up little wimpy motherfuckers who I wouldn’t normally side with because I hate everything they represent, but I guess I hate bouncers more….

So if you are in LA, don’t go to One Nightclub, shit looks pretty fucking lame, proven in the fact that Kim Kardashian hangs out there….

Posted in:Bouncers|Kim Kardashian|One Nightclub

2008

08

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Pretty Fucking Useless of the Day

The quality of this video is shit, but since I have a bunch of you who are into this slob, I figured I’d post it to remind you that she is neither hot nor serves a purpose beyond letting black guys piss on her. She is one of those uneducated, ill-informed, waste of space, who offers nothing to the world. In her defense, maybe her brain has been suffocated by fat tits and fat ass and the cum she’s choked on all these years. Maybe she has syphilis and it’s driving her CRAAAAZY, or maybe she’s just always been a spoiled cunt raised by a materialistic wallet fucking mother while her immigrant father was busy making money to buy his kids ponies, who fucking knows, but I do know that she just lives her self-absorbed life, worrying about what to wear and finding something to fit her ridiculously shaped body and figuring out how to make time to visit her boyfriend in New Orleans and has no real concern for anything beyond her spoiled brat self and you are all feeding this bitch’s ego, which is better than feeding her dinner because I hear you need a trough for that.

I suggest if you own a TV, watch the fucking debates, especially if you are someone in the public eye, because you might get asked some questions about it and it’s just better to have an opinion versus a useless “I don’t do politics, but I do do amateur porn” attitude. Today, I continue to hate Kardashian. How are you doing?

Here is the debate for you with an hour and a half to waste, I didn’t watch it because I am not American and don’t care, but I think you should.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Uneducated.

2008

07

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Bikini From When She Was 14 Of the Day

I don’t know the legalities of posting a 14 year old in a bikini on a website, but I do know that parents are doing it all the time on FLICKR, Facebook and all the other photo sites and they aren’t getting in trouble for it, despite the fact that those images are coincidentally the ones with the most views and they so happen to pop up on other websites with the intent to make people masturbate, and none of those folks are getting in trouble, so I figure it’s okay to post these pics Kim Kardashian posted of herself to prove she didn’t have plastic surgery.

I have no idea where these plastic surgery rumors came from, I never heard them, mainly because bitch has a far from perfect face and is in pretty serious need of plastic surgery, and I have a feeling that is what was actually said, and Kardashian’s ego didn’t let her process the truth, like calling a fat girl fat and having her turn around and think you just complimented her or some shit because she’s in fucking denial.

Either way, she had some pretty big tits for a 14 year old. I blame the hormones in the food.

Bonus – Kim Kadashian and Her New Friend Cheryl Burke From Dancing With the Stars, I Haven’t Figured Out Who is More Desperate, But I am Going With Both of Them….

Posted in:14|Bikini|Kim Kardashian

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