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Archive for the Sophie Monk Category

2009

10

Aug

Sophie Monk Staged Paparazzi Pics of the Day

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I used to like Sophie Monk, not on a personal level, because I’ve never met her and never will, but in a I have nothing better to do with my time than post paparzzi pictures and she’s interesting to look at kind of way. But now now she’s older and washed up and I’m assuming broke and desperate, because she’s in paparazzi pics, but more importantly because her lesbian lover the Good Charlotte twin dumped her for Paris Hilton, and nothing is more rock bottom than that shit which would explain the emotional eating body.

Posted in:Bikini|Sophie Monk|Staged

2009

30

Jul

Sophie Monk in her Bikini for Some Straight to DVD Springbreak Garbage Movie of the Day

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There was a time when I would only rent movies with girls in bikinis, because porn wasn’t readily available and I was 16, horny and down to jerk off to some seriously softcore shit. That time is long fuckin’ gone, so I am surprised shit like this is still made, even when it’s starring Sophie Monk, an Australian I wanna fuck….but have been warned to stay away from because she’s insane, an insanity proven in the fact that she was engaged to one of the Good Charlotte sisters….and who got cheated on with Paris Hilton…proving either Paris has serious game, or this bitch is low fuckin’ quality….

Either way watch the clip and try to distract yourself from Amy Poehler’s midsection she’s got exposed, because there’s nothing hot about that…unless maybe you’re a lesbian…because lesbians see past the outside shell and love people with a good sense of humor who can make them laugh….

Here’s another clip….

And here’s some screen caps…..

Posted in:Bikini|Sophie Monk

2009

29

Jun

Sophie Monk is the Kind of Sloppy Bitch I’m Down With of the Day

6 Comments »

I remember asking someone who was a few degrees of separation from Sophie Monk if she could let her know I want her to sit on my fuckin face and finger my asshole until I fall asleep, but she told me not to bother giving her any attention because she’s fuckin’ useless, crazy and getting fat.

I think it had more to do with the girl who was a few degrees of separation from Sophie Monk, didn’t want to admit she was talking to some dude from a website because it’s a desperate look, but not as desperate as me trying to get some girl who works for this bitch to tell her I want her to fart in my mouth just so I can taste what that mom ass is bakin’.

Maybe I’m won over cuz I never had a mom, maybe cuz I find something about her hot, maybe it’s cuz she’s accessible, but whatever it is, no matter how fat she gets, I’ll always be willing to hit up an all you can eat buffet with her, as long as it ends in me waking up with the Paris Hilton strain of herpes she has from her fiance fuckin’ around on her….

Here are the pics…

Posted in:Sloppy|Sophie Monk

2009

08

Jun

Sophie Monk’s Cry for Attention at the Santa Monica Pier of the Day

4 Comments »

There’s something pretty magical about watching Sophie Monk riding some weird Mexican donkey themed toy you’d see kids posing with, not because I am into watching kids ride things for sexual pleasure, but because I like Mexican themed shit being riden by hot, busty, hard nippled Australians who ever since moving to America to be with her lame fiance who left her for Paris Hilton’s vile vagina, despite his true feelings that his heart really belonged to his twin brother, are desperate for attention and letting paparazzi agencies do these kinds of low budget photoshoots with her, in hopes someone picks it up. We’re talking a few steps away from a porn career and motherfucker, I’m ready for it cuz I think this bitch has got it going on, despite the bad choices she’s made in choosing cock to put up inside her….

Posted in:Sophie Monk|Tits

2009

23

Feb

Three Irrelevant Sluts of the Day

5 Comments »

I had these three posts lined up and when looking at the pictures I realized I had nothing interesting to say about these sluts, because they are all pretty fucking irrelevant. One is some Chinese rich kid who has been in Playboy and has managed to have nipple slips at every single event she’s attended and I never really understood why she was even attending the events in the first place.

The other is a washed up child star who is pretending to be a lesbian while addicted to coke, delusional and looking more and more like she’s about to die as the days go on, but her tits manage to stay the same size because I guess they were right all along and she’s got implants, because it really is the only explanation. She’s been in two movies the last 3 years, her career is almost over and I guess she got a sympathy invite to some Oscar party because she’s still got celebrity, despite really only deserving AIDS.

The last is some Aussie with great tits, who has hard nipples, but who can’t be acknowledged as someone I want to fuck because she was engaged to a Good Charlotte brother because I guess in Australia, they were stars and she was a groupie even he didn’t respect enough to not cheat on. Meaning that she wasn’t even good enough for him and lets face it, he’s not really good enough for any vagina, not even fat chick vagina, that said, I’d still fuck her, but I would never respect her and I guess either will Hollywood because I haven’t seen her in anything worth seeing recently, may be a good time to head back to the Outback…but she did have a date with Russell Simmons this past weekend, so who knows…maybe I am wrong about this one…

And here are their pictures, because I am lazy and not gonna let good cropping and uploading go to fucking waste. Enjoy.

Sophie Monk….

Lindsay Lohan….

Posted in:Bai Ling|Irrelevant Sluts|Lindsay Lohan|Sophie Monk

2008

07

Nov

Sophie Monk Doin’ Nothing of the Day

3 Comments »

I wonder if Sophie Monk, Paris Hilton and the Good Charlotte fat lesbian sister they both dated ever had a threesome together. You know rubbing cunts til one of them squirts. Benji with a fist in his man pussy, Paris taking pictures of herself to figure out a way to market it to greater opportunities and Sophie Monk showering her pussy with Hand Sanitizer hoping the herpes aren’t contagious, without realizing 6-8 weeks later that they are.

I mean if the Sophie Monk’s break-up was anything like most break-ups, you know going from being engaged to him being in love with Paris Hilton for a career move for his band, their new album and tour, because of the whole Nicole Richie and His Twin Sister having a kid together and the whole Paris being Nicole’s BFF and him being his Twin Sister’s masturbation partner, a story the media would eat it all up, leaving Sophie Monk in the dust, but only after taking Paris for a test ride to see if changing his whole life is worth it, and deciding that it is….

But I know there was a period, after he broke the news to Monk that he was leaving her because he cheated on her and that he was moving on to lower quality, but richer pussy, where she felt inadequate, insecure and willing to forgive him just to get his lesbian suburban tattoos and her life back, by throwing herself at him, in some emotional decision and like all guys, or lesbians that look like guys, he went for it. Because you never turn down the pussy.

Knowing that celebrities don’t use condoms, especially Paris Hilton, and we have proof of that, means that her and Paris Hilton pretty much rubbed cunts without actually rubbing cunts and the likliness of her having a Valtrex Prescription like her ex-future husband’s new future wife and that takes a little away from wanting to go down on her for lunch, you know, it lowers her stock a bit, but herpes isn’t enough reason to keep most guys away when they come up on something that looks like this…..if anything it adds to the whole excitement of the experience, like playing dodgeball, but with more serious repercussions, since when you lose, you’re reminded of it for life…

Posted in:Sophie Monk|Tits

2008

14

Oct

Sophie Monk’s Fat Chick Panty Line of the Day

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So Sophie Monk decided to get back at her Good Charlotte sister, who moved her to the USA with promises of lesbian marriage and children, before getting swept up by Paris Hilton’s rank vagina, when she was trying to save her career and jump on the Lohan / Ronson lesbian party boat, and she’s doing it by releasing a line of underwear based on the underwear the Good Charlotte Sister used to wear for her. Shit’s contouring and makes fat chicks think they look less fat, but strapping them down and squeezing them proper like we were in the middle ages and they were some kind of high society woman or some shit, only knowing Sophie Monk’s celebrity, they’ll probably be sold at Sears next to LL Cool J’s collection of suburban gangster gear for the whole family, in his last whimper for attention.

So the good news about that is that Good Charlotte sister’s fat girl panties aren’t just for the rich and famous anymore and in the economic crisis, that’s the social conscious thing to do, because when you have to decide whether to go with the groceries or a pair of cheeap underwear to trick men into thinking you are worth fucking, go with the underwear, because that man you may be tricking could be rich enough to take you out for dinner and we all know that can be expensive because you eat more than the average person and because of the fact that you are wearing these panties pretty much means food is probably the last thing you need.

I like the way Sophie Monk has a pair of them on her head, she’s so playful like that, I heard that last week she let Ryan Seacrest shove his pantyhose down her throat to gag her before licking her asshole while jerking off. True Story.

Posted in:Fat Chick|Panty Line|Sophie Monk

2008

09

Oct

Sophie Monk Was Poor of the Day

4 Comments »

Go to 4 minutes into the video to see Sophie Monk in her natural habitat of Australia, where her couch, like mine, was covered by a sheet, to make the piss stains, holes and maggots living inside it, less offensive when sitting down to watch a movie. Sure, she wasn’t as poor as the homeless guy I met in an alley when taking a piss, who was smashing his head against a dumpster screaming in pain, only to come up to me in some kind of bloody mess asking me if I was involved in the black market organ trade, and not believing me when I said no, or the street kid with a tattooed face who was moaning to himself yesterday and when I asked him what was wrong he told me his mouth hurt, when I asked why, he lifted up his lip to show me a rotted out mess that smelled like death and that he couldn’t get fixed because he had no money for a dentist, but poor never the less.

Either way, it’s nice to see Sophie not forgetting where she came from as she climbs into her Range Rover in LA after a long day of going to Pilates, that was probably followed up by sitting on her ass, or taking a bubble bath, or calling Ryan Seacrest and talking about boys.

Posted in:Poor|Sophie Monk

2008

03

Oct

Sophie Monk’s Fat Thighs in Jean Shorts of the Day

1 Comment »

Posted in:Sophie Monk|Thighs

2008

23

Sep

Sophie Monk Shows Off Some Leg of the Day

3 Comments »

I went to a bar once and in the corner was a creepy lonely lookin guy on the piano. He was playing the song “Lady in Red” over and over and he sounded sad. He kept ordering cocktails and I knew that he never planned his life to end up in a dive bar playing the piano. I could tell he had dreams of grandeur, you know, to take his talent to the top of the charts like he was Elton John, but instead was living in a studio apartment with no hot water and playing the piano in exchange for free booze.

Either way, I got fed up of hearing the Lady in Red song, it was a little tedious after the 4th time, so I went up to him and tried to chat him up and win him over, after realizing he was a miserable person, I snuck in a little “do you know any other songs” and he went rabid. His eyes widened and he screamed “I play what I fell like playing, now get the fuck away from me” before breaking down and running off to the bathroom, 5 minutes later he was back at the bar, ordering another drink and 5 minutes later, he was back at the piano playing Lady in Red again.

I feel like his personal torment was on the same level of Sophie Monk’s after he fiance left her for Paris Hilton. That’s the kind of thing that makes a person want to kill themselves, so it’s nice to see that she’s surviving and showing off her legs and hair extensions while doin’ it.

Posted in:Legs|Sophie Monk