Diane Kruger is in a bikini.

She has sex with Joshua Jackson.

She is German..

He shits on her.

That’s all I have to say about that, I think that’s technically a poem. I’m an artist, at least that is what I tell girls, because it’s easier to trick them into getting naked….because girls are dumb as fuck especially when it comes to tricking them into naked.

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Diane Kruger is pushing 40, is married to some dude from Dawson’s Creek, and continues to look hot pantsless in fashion photoshoots, reminding us that maybe some of that WWII human testing and experimenting on creating a superior aryan race trickled through the cracks of their system, leading to ancestors of those human experiments still walking the streets….because this shit does not look 40.

The other nice thing about Diane Kruger, is that being from Germany, she probably likes being shit on.

Too bad her child star from a shitty show is probably too much of a bitch to bring it.

Posted in:Diane Kruger

Practically 40 year old….practically married to Dawson Creek….totally German…..Diane Kruger…is doing the fucking rounds…last week I POSTED HER PANTSLESS FOR A FASHION MAGAZINE ….and now she’s doin’ this…almost dominatrix….almost biker…with a Glamour Tattoo on her tit like she’s some kind of cheap whore at at Zumba class….all showing off ehr middle aged body…and reminding us all of all the fun Germany has to offer…like hard pragmatic women…who will fist you if asked…I mean…when they aren’t shitting on your face….

I wonder if German scat references when talking about German models, turned actors, turned old….will ever get boring…probably not as long as she’s dating bitchy teen heart throbs from the late 90s.

Posted in:Diane Kruger

Diane Kruger is some bitch who is pushing 40 who is probably best known for being in a long term relatonship with Joshua Jackson that weenie from Dawson Creek…yes I just called someone a weenie…but only cuz that’s the best word to describe Joshua Jackson….

Or maybe she is know for her own stab at hollywood being in shitty blockbusters like Troy and National Treasure and the upcoming National Treasure 3 whatever else she has done before this glorious photoshoot of her pantsless for Marie Claire France….

What matters is that she is german and thus likes shitting on and being shit on….and that what makes her really matter…

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I thought you could see up this German’s skirt…but turns out you can’t….making these pictures pretty much a waste of your time…unless you like the idea of German pussy better than actual German pussy…you know all militant and efficient…cold and humorless…willing to aggressively shit in your mouth while you’re chained to a fucking cellar wall…in which case…enjoy…

Posted in:Diane Kruger

I don’t really know who Diane Kruger is. I just know she’s German and Germans like to get intense, agry, emotionless, demented sex with good engineering.

You know these are the people who just 65 years ago were doing tests on humans they deemed subpar because they were told to, making me assume they are a people that are pretty easy to get to convince to lick you’re asshole while you shit down their throat, you just have to tell them something convincing….like that if they don’t do it, they’re bad Germans….

Sure I don’t know much about the culture, but I’m working off logic here, and now their biggest crossover star from their world to ours since Heidi Klum, but then again I’m just saying that cuz I don’t know any other German’s off the top of my head, and this one is rockin’ GQ naked and amazing…and that’s good enough for me…

I don’t really know who Diane Kruger is, but here she is in some movie called Inhale – Naked….

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I don’t know who Diane Kruger is, but I can assume she’s Freddie’s daughter, who got her face mangled by his when she was a child acting out of line…I also know that her name is German and she looks pretty aryan, and that germans like getting shit on, making her lots of fun at parties, especially if she shows off her legs, cuz that way you don’t need to really worry about being distracted by that hard face of hers and losing your erection, you can just focus on the task at hand, shitting down her motherfucking throat….

Unless that whole German scat thing is a lie, overhyped to make people like me excited about a culture, you know some Tourism Munich campaign to get hotel sales up or some shit…

And really who fucking cares.

Posted in:Diane Kruger