Dyke Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

03

Jun

Hayden Panettiere Is a Dude of the Day

Hayden Panettiere has always been built like a dude and like the girl in my highschool who was asked to leave the girl’s washroom cuz they thought she was a dude when she was 13, she’s only gonna get more and more dyke as she get’s older….

She is disgusting and I never understood why everyone was so into her. I can only assume it was just the power of media because she was marketed as a hot young thing despite being built like a male midget who gets shot out of cannons at the circus….because the power of media makes dudes think they are supposed to find specific girls hot..even when they aren’t…and if we don’t find them hot…we feel like we may be gay and we don’t want people thinking we are a bunch of closet cases…we listen to what we are told…and repeat it…even if listening to what we are told makes us look like bigger closet caases…becuase the bitch we are freaking out over is a dude…..

I always found her vile, but realize that pussy is just pussy and as long as there’s a promise that there’s a pussy…thats good enough for us…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Dyke|Gender Bender|Hayden Panerttiere

2010

13

Jan

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass Dykes Out with Pussycat Antin of the Day

11 Comments »

Kim Kardashian brought her fat ass to get her nails done because she’s got nothing better to do with her fat self, it’s not like she’s gotta be at the gym working out, and she can’t eat 24/7 and the downtime between snacks and meals sometimes gets pretty fucking lonely, and lucky for her Robyn Antin, someone as equally useless and equally as scary looking as her was there to touch, cuz donuts don’t have the same affect on our emotions as actual human touch and here are the pics.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Dyke|Fat Ass|Kim Kardashian|Robyn Antin

2009

22

Dec

Meg Ryan Does the Sam Ronson of the Day

5 Comments »

I never found Meg Ryan hot and I still don’t especially now that she’s dressed like she’s Sam Ronson on her way to badly DJ some party that she only got booked to play because her sister is a fashion designer, her brother a music producer and the pussy she fucks Lindsay Lohan. Or maybe she’s dressed like a Chimney sweeper from Mary Poppins…or an orphan paperboy trying to make a few pennies to buy his family some bread or porridge_I don’t fucking know…but whatever it is, it isn’t hot, unless you get off to really masculine skinny and dying lookin’ women who dress like dudes, in which case you are most likely gay but don’t have the resources in your small town to really go down that road….or weird….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Dyke|Meg Ryan

2009

15

Oct

Naomi Watts is Almost a Dyke on a Bike of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t know if Naomi Watts is one of those sex icons, you know one of those celebrities everyone wants to fuck because I don’t remember her in movies and I am so desensitized doing this shit, I find all these celebrities ugly, mainly because they make too much money for what they do and because I see hotter pussy at my grocery store, but knowing dudes, at least 98 percent of you would fuck her if she asked you to fuck them, so why not post pictures of her in her “motorcycle” gear, since everyone under a helmet and in boots looks worth sticking it to, even that skinny guy on a bike you were driving behind in the tight jeans with the long hair flowing out of his helmet making you think he was a chick, until driving past him and forcing yourself to question your sexuality for a minute, before rationalizing the whole thing by blamin his long hair….

Here’s the manly bike she was riding with her boyfriend who is obviously some useless actor named Liev Schreiber…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Dyke|Naomi Watts

2009

02

Sep

Pink and Her Bulging Muscles are Built Like a Tank of the Day

9 Comments »

The argument as to whether Pink is a man or a woman who wants to look like a man who fucks men who like men but don’t want people to know so they date women who look like men or who may just be men and that whole thinks they are women who are just rough because they sing songs with a raspy voice like some kind of whiskey drinkin’ cowboy.

I don’t know if that made sense, but what doesn’t make sense is how anyone can think someone built like Pink is hot and still claim to be straight or why someone like Pink who claims to like men would do this to herself at the gym without being a bull-dyke training for the “dick killin” coalition, where dykes band together and kidnap unsuspecting dudes, rip off their dicks and let them bleed to death in efforts to one day have a world filled with lesbians. It’s on some sci-fi shit, I know, but of these pics seriously scare me, and as a straight man, I can only assume she’s using those muscles to come after me. ut I have a feeling you may like it.

Pics Via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Dyke|Muscular|Pink

2009

07

Jan

Michelle Rodriguez Thanks DUIs and the Legal System For Allowing Her To Be More Dyke Than Ever of the Day

4 Comments »

There are Bull Dykes that drive motorbikes, Diesel Dykes who drive big rigs and Van Dykes who have their own TV shoes in the 1960s and then there is Michelle Rodriguez. This bitch has more testosterone than the prescription my doctor gave me 5 years ago to man the fuck up, but instead turned me into an alleged rapist who got off because they could prove the testosterone treatment turned me into a superhero, a fate probably a lot better than the girl who I allegedly raped, who has to carry that shit around with her for the rest of her life, sucker.

Unfortunately for Michelle Rodriquez, getting off usually involves a strap on dildo banging against her oversized steroid clit as she sodomizes random whores she meets at her local college’s gay and lesbian club, or wherever the fuck you meet women who fuck women, and getting off doesn’t come to her after getting busted for a DUI, where her hard knock sentence involved a couple hours of community service, when regular people end up in jail for that shit.

What the judge didn’t know, is that Michelle Rodriguez always dreamt of being a construction working, shit was in her blood and in the imaginary testicles she used to grab whenever no one was looking, so giving her a rake, a hard hat, some steel toed boots, a reflector vest and some orange garbage bags is not really a punishment for this dude, it’s a fuckin’ dream come true…..

Here are the pics, until the paparazzi make me take it down…..