Elsa Pataky, an actress I don’t know and I’m not going to do the google, because I don’t really care who she is, I just know she’s pulling some Sports Illustrated body paint weirdness on her pregnancy, that may be attractive to someone, you know let’s use my wretched spawn that is growing inside me like some kind of fucking alien, as a canvas to distract from the fact that my belly button looks like it’s about to blow the fuck up…and the funny thing is, I assume people find this hot…you know someone somewhere has jerked off to this…weird.

Either way, oh so clever….

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I don’t know who Elsa Pataky and I don’t care…but I did google her and she’s pushing 40, married, and from Spain….she’s a mom and she’s all European on the red carpet of some bullshit, being all European, not in a bra, wearing a see through shirt, because that’s how red carpets should be done when you are either craving some male attention to feel hot, or when you trying to get noticed for your career…and I support that hustle, but only when they do it without pasties…cuz that pasties shit offends me, it’s if you’re gonna do that shit, own that shit….like Elsa Pataky…

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I don’t know or care who Elsa Pataky is – but Women’s Health does and they decided to strip her down into a bikini and share her with the world, and I’m not complaining, I feel like every girl needs to be celebrated for her accomplishments by being stripped the fuck down…

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Here’s pregnant 35 year old Elsa Pataky looking hot in a bikini – she’s married to some actor who played Thor and prior to him she dated Adrien Brody…which I guess was her groupie move to propel her to such great roles as the hot girl in Snakes on a Plane…..

Now I normally hate pregnancy for all the obvious reasons, but realize than when the pregnancy is on a fit bitch….and it is her first pregnancy….so I know her body and pussy isn’t ruined…I can appreciate it more than the mother of 3 I met in the bar talking about how she’s been trying to get pregnant with her fourth kid on the 15, 17, 18 of this month…all pig faced and full of cum…

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Nothing like a pregnant chick on a waterslide….to get me excited that she may slip up, lose the baby and thus save her vagina…leading me to believe if I was a superhero, that’d be by quest…vagina saver thru miscarriage enducer…

I feel like this post makes my one female reader happy, but that’s just cuz she had a botched abortion and can’t have babies of her own, so she looks at pregnant chicks as the devil mocking her inadequacies…but it probably upsets all the other girls….cuz I’m a horrible horrible man…

That said, here’s preggers Elsa Pataky in a bikini…

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Here’s Elsa Pataky, some bitch I’m not really familiar with because even bitches I am familiar with I forget. She’s wearing some classy stripper between sets outfit that I doubt any stripper actually wears, you know since strippers are tacky, trash who like being half naked, except when they leave work and squeeze into some ill fiting velour sweat suit like African drug dealers….so maybe this is more brothel wares….shit you’d expect a geisha to wear between sessions.. not that it matters…..who cares about the robe…just be happy her nipples are hard in it..cuz that’s the whole point of silk on braless tits…not that there is enough nipple in these pics….obviously…but it is the best I can do with the resources I have….possibly contributing to the demise of this site… THAT’S WHY I’M STARTING A CAREER IN SMUT

Posted in:Elsa Pataky