Erika Christensen, who I always confuse for being Hayden Christensen, Rachel Bilson’s ex husband and baby daddy who kept her in captivity at the Canadian farm many years ago, because it’s Canada and I am sure I’ve known at least one person who fucked his sister….I just googled his sister’s name and saw he’s coming back to Star Wars, once a Disney Kid, always a Disney kid I guess.

This Christensen is some Scientologist freak….who has defended Scientology to the haters, despite it being an anti-Christian religion for satanic freaks in Hollywood…not that I know anything about Scientology except for it keeping a lot of actors in the closet….

I only remember her from Swimfan, because a friend’s dad was obsessed with the show, they lived together and every time I went over he’d be watching her a little too intently…

I don’t now what else she’s done, I’m not going to bother digging, I’m only here for the uneventful mom tits.

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Erika Christensen is pushing 40 years old, but the home schooled Scientologist from Seattle who moved to LA at the age of 4 to be sold to the industry thanks to her parents, also Scientologists seeing the big picture of “GET FUCKING PAID DOING THIS HOLLYWOOD NONSENSE”….

I never gave a fuck about her, I actually had to google her to see who the fuck she was, because I haven’t really seen anything she’s been in, at least not that she’s “known for”…but I did have a friend with a creepy senile dad who was fucking obsessed with SWIMFAN…and everytime I’d go over to drink, or pre-drink, or use their pool cuz they had a pool, the old demential ridden weirdo would be parked in front of the tv in his wheelchair watching her….so I guess I did see enough of Swimfan to know that she wore a bathing suit in it….and I guess I know enough about Erika Christensen to know that she didn’t do a MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION for old people, they reserve that for young dying kids, but she should have done it for this guy…in the form of giving him a handjob…what a bitch….no respect for her creepy pervert old demential ridden fans….

I don’t know why she’s naked in these weird artsy dance images you’d expect at a photo school art show….but it’s probably some ritualistic shit for L Ron….that you can see her ass in…

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I am surprised Swimfan came out in 2002, because I remember one of my friend’s dad being unhealthily obsessed with that movie….every time I would go over to their house for a solid year he would tell me about Swimfan like he hadn’t told me all about Swimfan at previous times I stopped by….and because of that, I’ve never seen the movie, but assume it’s something 70 year olds jerk off to…assuming they still jerk off….or maybe not jerking off was the reason they were so excited by a girl in a swimsuit…it’s like dude…there’s porn available…even in 2002…

Anyway….that’s the only thing I know about Christensen…she was in Swimfan…and now she’s sticking to that theme at 38 years old…like a one-trick pony, you know why turn your back on the one thing that provided for you….the SWIMSUIT…

I don’t find this exciting and I don’t know why she looks like J.lo….but I assume she’s either found fillers, photoshop/facetune or whatever other Chinese app they use to trick us into believing their AVATAR is THEM.

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In case you were wondering…Erika Christensen is a sloppy looking bitch…but with sloppy looking bitches comes sloppy fucking tits…just big and hanging globules of fat with nipples attached to them…and that’s exciting to the four people who jerked off to Erika Christensen in Swimfan…back in 2002….and who in 18 years haven’t strayed from their love of her….

Celebrity fans are a little too fucking loyal, it’s creepy.

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Posted in:Erika Christensen

Erika Christensen probably had her big breakout as a slutty actress you’d want to jack off to back in 2002, when she was 20, in Swimfan, which my friend’s creepy dad used to fucking love. Anytime I’d go over to their apartment he’d be watching it….I’ve never seen the show but assume it’s about slutty swim team shit…because all those Olympic sports are riddled with perverted young people who tour together, stay in hotels together, and get their fuck on together…but I could be wrong…since I’ve never watched the movie…..meaning reading what I just said was a huge waste of your time. GOOD THING no one read it…

That said, Erika Christensen, a 38 year old mom of 2 is still out there trying…she hasn’t been in any movies since 2017, any TV since 2019, any music videos since 2019…so she’s a fucking slacker….

She’s a Scientologist, so even giving her some press for trying to be slutty, becasue lazy people know getting slutty gets the most views and views are fucking everything….especially when you’re part of the Scientology organization of spinning celebrity stories while controlling the interest of their church and the narrative of the people in the church…I mean even Danny Masterson will get off from the Rape charges because Scientology always wins…

I think what it comes down to is that not all nudes are the same, they are not equal like “all humans are” according to the woke, even if that’s a fucking lie they are just ignoring since they’ve clearly never heard of the 1% who are better than the equal masses of idiots they sell to…

But yeah, these nudes fucking suck, what’s with this artistry with the poses you fucking loser…

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Posted in:Erika Christensen