Helen Mirren Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Helen Mirren Category

2017

Jan

Helen Mirren Nude in the Bath of the Day

This is the other highlight of my very pathetic, very hungover, dying of Tequila poisoning day….

Some busty Helen Mirren did some nude bathtub shoot, I don’t know when, I don’t know where, I don’t know why, but it happened…maybe 50 years too late…but she’s been topless before…

this is just bringing it back and her tits are as awesome as you’d expect…

The good news is that she’s submerged and her tits are floating….because if this standing naked in front of you…is probably more of “fuck her cuz she’s famous, do it for the story, get paid to do it” situation…or a take what you can get…and you’re horny”….with tits that you could tell were once were wonderful…but that lost their glory as you try to figure out how her nipple got caught in her loose vagina lips…..

The point is that I have never had a thing for old ladies, they are disgusting, their bodies melting, their vaginas as saggy as their tits, and I see no point to them unless you are her sugar baby….cashing in, or into cumming in girls and not impregnating them, and/or if you have grandma issues – like daddy issues but for baked goods and the sweet smell of bengay….but I have fucked old women….I worked in an old folks home in my younger years and saw some shit….actually a lot of shit…I wish I didn’t have to clean up…and only a dozen times in those 4 years did I fuck old women…most had dementia and had no idea what was happening…and couldn’t report me…and most importantly I didn’t leave any marks because my dick hardly touched the vagina walls…plus there was so much KY Jelly available…maybe I do have a thing for old ladies…because I have a boner looking at these…they are hot….and I blame being bored of all the hot chicks in their hot chick poses…there is so much of that shit…when all I really want is some Mirren tit.

Posted in:Helen Mirren

2011

Aug

Helen Mirren is the Busty Old Lady in Red of the Day

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Here is Helen Mirren at the premiere of “The Debt”….because I am a fan of Helen Mirren’s senior citizen tits…cuz every once in a while an old lady comes out of the woodwork and you’re forced to want to have sex with her in order to get in her will and eat her baked goods and pleasure yourself to her sexual experience and gaping dry vagina, only for her to forget an hour later so that you can’t get fired from the old folks home…cuz getting fired for such a beautiful thing that most people find disgusting cuz they are just drones to society and scared to venture into this frowned upon dark places, would make paying off your debts hard….

She’s got great tits, that have seen so much and sure she’s looks better when she’s topless in sex scenes or rocking great tits in a bikini ….so long as you don’t look at her Horrible, Sloppy, Loose, Lower Body ……but this will cater to my fetish that no one in their right mind should have….

On a side note, to make this hot post a little more youthful and erotic to those who can’t jerk off to 90 year olds with huge tits….her name is Jessica Chastain, I’ve never heard of her, and she’s not that youthful at 30, but compared to Helen Mirren, your grandma is youthful so appreciate her red hair that you know she’s got growing out of her pussy….

Here’s Joanna Vanderham ….No idea who she is…a serious unknown but she’s 20…so we’re heading in the right direction….

Here’s Nikki M. James cuz She’s Making an Insane yet Amazing Face I Couldn’t Ignore…….maybe it’s the need I have to have sex with a black chick thanks to Goodtimes re-runs and summer fetishes…or maybe it’s just cuz this bitch is awesome…who knows…

Posted in:Helen Mirren

2010

Oct

Helen Mirren’s Old Lady Tit in a Movie of the Day

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Helen Mirren has a sex scene in some movie called Love Ranch that is going straight to DVD in the UK because it failed in the USA and maybe it had something to do with showing off her 63 year old big granny titty…

She is like the opposite of a Miley Cyrus…you know getting naked cuz it’s the bad decision for your career drawing negative attention to yourself, only in Helen Mirren’s it’s not fun to watch or jerk off to…

There comes an age in every woman’s life where it’s just smartest to save your tits for your miserable husband, the guy you are having an affair with to feel young and the ladies at your aquarobics class…That age hapeened 10 years ago for Helen Mirren…I guess no one told her….

Posted in:Helen Mirren

2009

Sep

Helen Mirren Shows Us Where Her Legs End and Vagina Starts of the Day

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Helen Mirren has one of my favorite sets of Granny tits in Hollywood, I mean they’ve got nothing on some of the immigrant Granny tits I saw when I was working as an orderly at an old folk’s home back when I had “Granny Issues” because I never had a grandma growing up, she was too busy working before leaving us high and dry, never showing up on Christmas, making me spend the rest of my life trying to fill that void, first with a cookie addiction and then with knitting classes and finally getting paid to change granny diaper and wash granny ass that would always end with me nestling up to granny tit after the medication kicked in and they’d pass out around 8 pm, and as my pervert friend from the park would say when girls in dresses walked by, you can see where her Vagina Starts and her Legs End which is something that is always quite magical….

Posted in:Helen Mirren|Vagina

2008

Dec

Helen Mirren One Piece Bathing Suit Seductress of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Helen Mirren proving that the one piece bathing suits aren’t just for fat insecure 12 year old girls at the public pool, but also work out pretty nicely for menopausal, busty, older actresses. So I guess you’re never too old to cover up that sloppy body while still managing to turn me on. It could be my fever talking but I like to think it’s got more to do with those tits. What I would do to change that diaper….

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Helen Mirren|One Piece|Tits

2008

Dec

Helen Mirren’s Hot Ass on the Beach of the Day

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I made the mistake of going to an old folk’s home for lunch the other day, because my friend hates spending time with his crazy mother and because I like free food and the opportunity to meet some decent old widows who have enough money to support me, like I was Anna Nicole Smith or some shit.

I worked in a ghetto Old Folk’s home many years ago, cleaning up old person shit and piss but never made it into the dining room to hang out with the Old people, I didn’t pass the psych test, so I wasn’t allowed to be near the residents, so I figured I was working my way up the ranks of society.

For some crazy reason, I didn’t think about the shit hole I worked at, because I assumed the government shut those fuckers down, but instead imagined some classy old person retirement community you’d see in Florida, where they ride around in golf carts and fuck each other because there’s really no reason not to, since they are all about to die and don’t really have much else to fill their days.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t this happy place you see on the commercials, but a place that smelled of death, where people were being carted around in their wheelchairs, where I’d hear screams of pain from the hallways and where the staff looked suicidal.

I walked to the dining room, where these women ran to me, probably trying to get me to help them escape and I’ll admit, I felt like a star, and liked the attention unfortunately, they were all grey skinned, their dentures on the table while eating Oatmeal and I almost lost my appetite.

I saw a tit fall out of it’s nightgown, I saw a woman who pissed herself getting her diaper changed, I had great conversations with what seemed like insane people, I was flirted with, in a way that only a lonely woman on her deathbed who had a few strokes but who wants one last cock would, and realized that despite the dryness, old pussy is amazing. So I ate my free sandwich and plan on going back next week, maybe I’ll even organize an Old Folk’s home tour, because they don’t seem to have any standards, and that’s something that works for me…

Here’s Helen Mirren in her bikini, showing off her hot body to celebrate my new love for grandmas.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Helen Mirren|old

2008

Jul

Helen Mirren’s Got Some Big Grandma Tits in a Bikini of the Day

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I just made a new friend on the stoop of my apartment. He was this 20 year old dude who was just sitting there talking to himself. His conversation seemed pretty fucking intense as he was laughing loudly, and screaming, then whispering and crying, shit was like an emotional roller coaster and when I looked to see if he had his CIA blue tooth ear piece that junior executives everywhere are rockin in hopes of making their boring lives seemingly more interesting. I decided that dude was obviously talking to himself, so I figured I’d be a nice guy and strike up some conversation so he didn’t feel so alone. It was a mistake.

He went off on how he was involved in some kind of rape last night and that the woman was his friend’s girlfriend’s grandmother because he loved her fucking cookies so much. He figured if she knew how to bake so well, her pussy was probably prime and when she was passed out on her cancer meds in her room, he slipped in to slip it in her. He then started laughing hysterically and that’s when I decided to peace, because crazy people who talk about raping grandmother’s freak me out.

The truth is the only thing better than an old pussy, that can’t get pregnant because it dried up long ago, is young hot pussy on the pill, but I guess it’s a beggars can’t be choosers situation.

Here is Oscar winning Helen Mirren in her bikini, showing of the tits that made her famous and the good news is that she’s only 63 and not 80, like the big breasted senior citizen I once loved when working at the old folks home.

Posted in:Bikini|Helen Mirren|Tits