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Archive for the Jessica Alba Category

2015

17

Aug

Jessica Alba in a Bikini of the Day

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Jessica Alba is apparently a billionaire, running her company, that is called honest, which is usually a red flag and means it is not honest, but according to people I know they actually make decent product, and the only lie is that Alba has anything to do with anything, she’s just there, a poster girl for the brand…that helped make it massive…and that is now going public and in going public…the strategy is get this bitch in the media…at least that’s my theory, maybe she’s just an attention whore…who loves male attention and showing off her mom body…that she got trapping a sucker who I guess at the time was stoked he had the hottest shitty actress in Hollywood…but now is just stoked because when they go public he can escape her….as they don’t need to project this perfect married couple…that makes Honest…Honest…

TO SEE HER IN HER BIKINI CLICK HERE

TO SEE HER IN ALLURE CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

14

Aug

Jessica Alba’s Bikini Bottoms for Samsung of the Day

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Jessica Alba is shameless…but the reality is every one of these celebrities who tries to be clever in their product placement on social media strategies doesn’t need to be clever, be shameless and your retard audience that I know are retards because they follow your ass and make you a billionaire in the process, when they should have turned their backs on you after “honey” and pushed you to a life of drug addiction, prostitution and premature death…

But instead, she’s posting pics of her pussy next to a tablet, that Samsung paid her to do, and that will get past around because people, myself included still care enough about her pussy, even though it’s been shredded by kids and Cash Warren penis..

She’s the worst…Samsung endorse vagina pics…and she’s winning…and we’re all fucking losers who allow these people to exist….

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

12

Aug

Jessica Alba in a Bikini of the Day

Jessica-Alba-SFW

Jessica Alba wants you to see some mom tit in a bikini….

I am going to assume it is because it feels good to have men get excited over you, like it was still the late 90s, especially when in a loveless marriage that is solely based on business, and money, than on fucking…even if the kids would make you think they fuck, when really they are just props in the Honest Company…

You don’t make billions of dollars without some sacrifice…

It is safe to assume that she’ll be back in the acting scene when the company does go public and when she cashes out. It is also safe to assume she’ll be doing more nude roles, to feel like an “artist”…and it’s almost too little too late…but she’s still Alba and her nipples are worth looking out the day she finally releases them, only because she’s made the people wait 30 fucking years for them.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

15

Jul

Jessica Alba’s “Flourish from the Inside Out” Campaign of the Day

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Jessica Alba must have a huge stake of ZICO Coconut water, or ZICO has paid her a fucking lot of money, so much that they couldn’t afford a copywriter, or designer, good photographer, or really anything other than Alba…because they are pushing these pictures as hard as they can…it’s the same shoot we saw months ago…and now there’s a shitty slogan…

“Flourish from the Inside Out”…

It sounds like something digestive, or maybe sexually, like pink on the inside, tan on the outside…..or like her cervix is flourishing with excitement ready to make another baby to spend her stupid money on….before being shat out of her to further make us hate her life choices…

I am not being paid by ZICO…so fuck them and their shitty cum tasting garbage beverage…there are better coconut waters out there…try them…

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

13

Jul

Jessica Alba’s Wet Selfie of the Day

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Jessica Alba wore what looks like a sheer when wet bikini top for her instagram…because Jessica Alba still wants you to think she matters, is still hot, because her start-up, that is really no longer a start-up, rely on her being the trophy wife and mother to sell their product, but more importantly, you know when she steps down with all her money when they sell to some big corporation she pretends to be fighting in her organic war on chemicals in products, and she has all the money in the world, her ego is going to force her to go back to acting, this time on a quest to get that Academy Award, because financially she won’t need to rely on that career, and can go back to the original art of acting she fell in love with while studying it at the conservatory…and by conservatory I mean doing the shitty fucking movies that don’t matter…

ALl this to say, she’ll be naked in those movies, we just have to wait it out another 4 years.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

07

Jul

Jessica Alba’s Amazing Photography of the Day

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Jessica Alba is rumored to be running a billion dollar company, even though we all know she’s not really running shit, I mean maybe she’s testing products, or suggesting products, but actual work is more just showing up to events…

But that doesn’t matter, who cares what her involvement is, the fact is that she has a lot of money, enough money to hire a photographer for her social media, so that we can focus on her little actress who can’t act, mom who trapped her baby daddy / husband with..tits…

She looks like an old lady divorcee on her first trip since the divorce with her divorcee friend, on their way out to fuck young men to reclaim their youth…

I mean, she’s in a tube top, a late 90s shirt perfect for feeling up girls who didn’t want to be felt up, because they never want to be felt up, but why wear such easy access to be felt up when out getting drunk, if you don’t want to be felt up, I get it, you don’t want these grubby hands on you..but you clearly want hands on you and this is the best that you’re getting toddya, thanks to being blackout drunk, and me seeing Bill Cosby opportunuty.

TO SEE MORE PICS OF HER IN HER TUBE TOP CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

03

Jul

Jessica Alba Does Yoga of the Day

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Jessica Alba, who is worth 200 million dollars because she goes to her office everyday to oversee the actual management team who are worth 800 million thanks to letting Jessica Alba think she’s hard working CEO…

She’s proof that if you’re pretty you can make it in anything and it doesn’t require talent or education…Just smile and show your pretty face and people will cast you as the hot girl and overpay you….and execs will say “we really like your business skills, that MBA you got from an IVY League, oh wait you’re a high school drop out, ok, just look pretty and we’ll make you lots of money”….

She’s living the American Dream, despite being half Mexican…what Trump hates…She’s got famous, the number one dream of Americans…and Now she’s a figurehead of a huge corporation….#Merica #USA.

She’s also doing Yoga…

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

16

Jun

Billionaire ALba in a Sports Bra of the Day

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Jessica Alba is a billionaire, or the figurehead of a billion dollar company..that she has 20 percent of and that is worth a billion dollars in part due to her celebrity endorsement…

You would think she’d have a personal photographer, or assistant who can take a fucking picture, because this YOGA party she went to, probably for publicity reasons, looks like it was shot on a Motorolla Razr, the first phone I got nude pics from a phone back in 2006….before everyone had a sex tape production team in their pocket…when nudes were special…

Either way, she’s in a sports bra…

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

09

Jun

Jessica ALba’s Coconut Water Hooker Tits of the Day

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Jessica ALba is a bit of a scam, but is she really a scam, when she’s just allowed the public to think she’s this budding entrepreneur for a company worth 1 billion dollars that uses her star power to market themselves, while being run by a strong team…it’s like rich and successful people say “hey, we like you, let’s use you because you’re a huge star and we’ll give you 20% and you can have creative control, just promote this shit for us for free, brands pay millions for this, let’s just give you equity and make hundreds of millions”…to which she says “well, I was thinking of doing that Honey sequel because my acting career was all a lie, let’s make my business careeer a lie, and I’ll take on the good jobs that come in, like other movies because that’s my passion guys, and ZICO who paid me stupid money to pose with a bottle in the most obvious low level ay…but at least she’s got cleavage…because cleavage makes it all ok..

Totally uninteresting but this is what ZICO wasts us doing..

Here is some Alba in a sports bra…

A photo posted by Jessica Alba (@jessicaalba) on

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

01

Jun

Jessica Alba’s 200 Million Dollar Humping of the Day

A video posted by Jessica Alba (@jessicaalba) on

Jessica Alba was a hardly talented, but hot, actress who never got naked but who people fucking loved, probably not because she’s a Mexican, since no one likes Mexicans…who trapped her boyfriend at the time, who had just dumped her, Cash Warren, by getting pregnant and forcing him to do the right thing and be a dad to the kids…which worked out nicely for him, because he linked her up with some tech geniuses who were able to build a brand off of her, and all she had to do was promote it…

Sure, part of the marketing campaign was that she worked 86 hours a week and built it from the ground up, but I have people who know people, who know people, and apparently, she was definitely present at the office, but she never really handled anything, or made any decisions..

It was just a spokes modeling contract that worked in this dot com tech wild west where anyone can become a billionaire…with the right team and 20% equity in something…

I am not saying she doesn’t deserve to be worth 200 million dollars, at least she took her celebrity and followed the american capitalist dream to make stupid fucking money…like she was Ashton Kutcher…

I am just saying, who the fuck cares…the real discussions should be “where are her tits!!”…billioare or not..I want to see her tits…because I’m old..and remember when she actually mattered…

I’m not impressed by any of this, it doesn’t matter to me..or really to any of you….great, you’re a fucking evil billion dollar corporation that manipulated idiots into her lie…now where are the tits?

She was already rich and living the rich life…before this…not to mention, why isn’t the Brian Lee…the founder of LegalZoom and ShoeDazzle, who runs the fucking company….oh probably worth more than Alba’s 200 million take….why isn’t he on the cover? Oh right, because that would fuck up the marketing campaign that involves Alba being the face…now where are the tits?

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All this to say, this is more interesting than Kim Kardashian’s second pregnancy, unless her second pregnancy ends with complications that leave her dead….

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW