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Archive for the Katie Price Category

2009

24

Mar

Jordan Promoting Her Equestrian Line of Clothing of the Day

Jordan is pretty hysterical. It’s pretty hard to hate her for milkin’ those tits, more than her retard baby did. You know, she’s managed to do so much more shit with silicone than pretty much anyone out there, she’s launched product line after product line, has had sex tapes, makes massive amounts of money, and has the public watching her every move because I guess they find her important, but this tacky line of horse products has got to be one of the ultimate jokes she’s hustled.

I don’t know too much about horseback riding, but I know that not everyone who partakes in the sport is classy, or from old money and I guess there are sluts, prostitutes, trash and farmers that like to go nuts with horses, there are probably perverted parents who like to shock the other parents, by dressing their girls up like this for horseback riding activity day with the school, and even strippers who like to dress like slutty horseback riders for their stage shows or hot date on the merry-go-round cuz they are ironic, so somehow this makes sense, just not to me.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price

2009

18

Feb

Jordan and her Tits Go Shopping with Their Fly Down of the Day

I am guessing that Jordan is shooting a reality show in LA and that’s really fucking life changing and inspiring.

It makes me really want to tap into my brain and find something that relates to girls I know with big fake tits who made it, not that there have ever been any, that shit’s just a myth, because the second a girl gets the shit, they get stupid. They expect their stripping wages to go up and for porn producers or Hollywood to come knocking at their door to sweep them away, because they think that all their problems will be solved with their 5000 dollar purchase, and hey why not, it worked for Pam Anderson, Jordan and 95% of pornstars, what they don’t realize is that they still have busted faces and they are still fucking idiots, and their eagerness to flash their tits at anyone willing to look, just makes them trust every sick fuck with fake business cards and a button-down shirt, leaving them raped and killed in a warehouse. Unfortunately, Jordan didn’t have the same fate and here are a bunch of pics of her.

Jordan Doesn’t Look Like Jordan Anymore….But She Does Wear See Through Shirts….

Bonus – Jordan and Her Hair Curlers For Those of you with a 1955 Beauty School Fetish

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|See Through|Slut

2009

06

Feb

Jordan in Some Slut Outfit of the Day

When I first came to this country, I was enrolled into some Elementary school where I lived, I didn’t really fit because I couldn’t speak the language, so I don’t remember much since it was traumatic, but I do remember Lisa.

Lisa was the mother of this skinny kid with long hair, who had all these cool toys, but who everyone avoided because he was pure white trash. He dressed like a trucker, used to spit and swear and fight and smoke cigarettes and he was only 10. He would always talk about fucking and pussy and other crazy shit and was constantly being suspended. Halfway into the year, his mom came into the school to a lunch monitor, I guess to make sure he wasn’t getting into trouble, but I couldn’t really understand why the fuck the school hired her to work there, since she always dressed like a whore.

Now, I’m pretty used to seeing girls dressed in stripper gear now, but I wasn’t when I was 10, so Lisa and her spandex dresses, g-string panties, huge tits busting of her low cut shirt, hard nipples, and platform whore shoes, was something I’d look forward to. While the other kids were out playing, I’d just sit there with my little 10 year old boner staring at this platinum blonde, hoping to get a glimpse up her skirt, thinking dirty things that I didn’t really understand, like playing with those hot fucking tits.

I tried to become friends with her kid, but he was a racist, I tried to ask him if he was still breast feeding, because I knew if she was my mom, I’d never let those things go, and he’d just punch me in the face. Other kids would make fun of his mom, as if it was a negative thing to be a whore at an Elementary school, but I knew despite her being a piece of fucking trash, she was my fuckin’ dreamgirl, like Jennifer Hudson.

I like to credit Lisa for turning me into the peepin/creepy/pervert I am today, because since that year in school, the only other place I never saw a woman like that in broad daylight. I always had to go to stripclubs to get my fix and waste my money, until the day I walked into a club in my hometown and sitting across the stage from me was Lisa, smoking a cigarette, a few years older, just as trashy, and just as desperate to put food on her table, I got a lap dance from her, never told her that she was the object of my desire all these years, and the shit stain she left on my new jeans was enough to make me move on, even though it was the only time in my life that one of my dreams came true.

I assume that this kid Harvey’s going to have a lot of friends, despite not being able to function in society, because he’s retarded, and it’s all because kids know a mom like Jordan, makes an invite to the retard’s birthday worth the energy they have to put into being the retard’s friend.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Slut

2009

05

Feb

Jordan Going for a Fake Jog of the Day

If you’re wondering how Jordan keeps her slim figure, it’s definitely not by working out and staying active, it is from starving herself, suckin’ dick, plastic surgery and probably a drug addiction,or maybe her pussy’s so busted up and diseased that it’s become some kind of parasite with a metabolism of it’s own that feeds off her fat reserve, but I don’t know if that’s possible, and if it is she’d be attaching her name to it, branding it and selling her pussy juice in decorative tubs to fat chicks, because Jordan like most whores, do it all for the money.

Just don’t let these pictures of her jogging fool you, it’s a staged scene from what I assume is a reality show that I hope no one watches because her face is so doctored she looks like a fucking cartoon and here are the pics.

Posted in:Jog|Jordan|Katie Price|Reality

2009

04

Feb

Jordan Hits Up Toys ‘R’ Us with Her Retarded Fake Tits of the Day

Here’s an obvious bad joke:

So Jordan went to Toys ‘R’ Us to buy her spoiled brat kids some toys while showing of a set of toys she bought for her spoiled brat self.

I figure that’s the angle every other site’s going to take because let’s face it when Jordan goes to Toys ‘R’ Us, there’s nothing much else you can say. I figure that the exposure she got them while exposing her stupid tits warrant a spokesperson deal, you know since this whore has managed to whore out ever other possible venue.

The truth is that if I knew mother’s with tits like that, dressed like that, shopped at Toys ‘R’ Us, I’d spend less time checkin out the little girls in their cute pink little dresses.

But every time I’ve been there, I’ve only seen fat, tired and disgusting mother’s trying to shut their annoying kids out, but truthfully, I usually get escorted out within 5 minutes of being there for simulating sex for a group of kids with random stuff animals, so I’m definitely not an expert on this shit.

Either way, here are her tits and haggard face shopping because you weren’t able to see it live while hiding in the life sized doll house you’ve always wanted but felt to awkward to buy yourself.

Here they are shopping for groceries and in love. It seems like Jordan’s got a wireless mic pack on her back pocket, or maybe it’s some hormone release therapy to keep her from growing her dick back or some shit. I guess this shopping bullshit may be staged for some money making scheme, because everyone knows that Jordan’s the kind of girl who would have someone do it for her, since she is incapable of the simplest tasks in life, like putting on her massive bra, making dinner, or wiping her own ass. But boy can she get titty fucked…..

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Tits|Toys

2008

17

Dec

Katie Price Launches More Products of the Day

Seeing Katie Price in a pair of pajamas I’d expect a young mother to wear on Christmas morning is a little out of context, like the hooker selling bibles before you pay her to fuck her, because flannel loose fitting pants are pretty much never hot, always wholesome and something you’d expect your wife of 10 years to sleep in because you don’t have sex anymore, and not really something a girl who’s career is based on her retarded fake tits and slut behavior to be promoting, unless of course they come with lowkey dildo attachments, in which case shit’s genius, like a sleeper sleepwear that is all sex on the inside and all business on the outside, so the perfect gift for any slut you know who plans on spending time staying at a family or friend’s house and doesn’t want the people who’s house she’s staying at to judge her for the sexual deviant that she is when she walks down for her Pop tart and orange juice in a pair of chaps, a strap on and a gag mask.

Sure this post is weak, but so is Katie Price and whoever is backing her brand and producing this shit….and the real issue in all this is who the fuck is buying this trash allowing her to keep on making new shit….I just don’t get it, but then again, I don’t get much.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Sleepwear

2008

20

Nov

Jordan Katie Price In Her Lingerie of the Day

Jordan or Katie Price was out promoting her lingerie with her 3 year old son in tow, which is a bit of a relief for that little fucker, despite what everyone’s saying about shit being inappropriate for him, because the majority of the time he has spent with her, she’s either spread the fuck eagled and shoving random things in her cunt, or playing with her retardedly big reduced tits so the implant doesn’t harden, so if anything, she’s bought him a little more time before coming out of the closet in 13 years….despite prancing around for him in a thong….

I used to hang with this really poor dirty kid, like even poorer and dirtier than me because I was living with white perverted religious people, and I went over to play video games when I was 15 years old. He lived in a shitty one bedroom apartment, and he slept on the floor in the living room, and I walked into this garbage bag taped on the windows, shit pretty much everywhere, hell they called home, that in hindsight looks a lot like where I live now, but was something even shittier than I had experienced back in Mexico.

Anyway, it was around 4 in the afternoon, and this tight bodied, haggard slut walks out with a cigarette hanging from her mouth, a drink in one hand, in nothing but a pair of fucking panties, and no shirt and about a minute later, some trucker lookin motherfucker walks out, slaps her on the ass, thanks her, says what’s up to us and schedules a meeting for the same time a couple of days later, so here I am in a ghetto fucking brothel, with some haggard lookin’ whore and her son, staring at some tits, knowing she just got fucked for money and it was fucking hot and probably one of the biggest influences in my life…..

Either way, I guess it didn’t have the same affect on him, because a couple years ago, this is over 20 years after it happened, I ran into the guy, he remembered me, I asked him what was up and he told me he had AIDS and spent the last 20 years as a male stripper, male pornstar and a street hustler, I said something like “following in mommy’s footsteps aren’t ya” and he didn’t laugh and I didn’t shake his AIDS hand…..but yeah…slutty mom’s breed gays and that was the point of my story….

Here are the pics of her and not of her kid, because who really needs to see a 3 year old with highlights in his hair….

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Lingerie

2008

29

Oct

Katie Price and Her Fake Tits Dressed Up Like a Slutty Clown to Promote Hair Products of the Day

Katie Price is a marketing genius. When she realized that she was famous for no fucking reason, other than having the biggest stupid fake tits around, she knew that either someone hotter with more plastic surgery would come along and steal her glory, or that if that didn’t happen, people would be bound to lose interest and find other whores with no shame to fixate on, so before her flame that is fame completely went out, she jumped into merchandising. She’s got a line of pretty much everything from lingerie to horse apparel, including some haircare bullshit.

I guess the real issue isn’t that someone with more money than they know what to do with can create a line of pretty much anything they want, but the fact that somewhere out there some slut is rockin’ this hair dryer in the dressing room of the strip club she works at, you know, the only kind of girl who can look at Katie Price as a symbol of inspiration, because the only other reason to buy this garbage is because it’s in the discount bin and you really need a hair dryer, which I doubt happens that often.

Either way, she was in some costume with her new scaled down tits that are still retardedly big and fake and I guess since I am a simple minded person, that’s enough reason to get a post here. Yes, it is that easy.

Posted in:Costume|Jordan|Katie Price|Tits

2008

03

Sep

Jordan Sells Horse Products of the Day

Jordan was out promoting her newest business venture with her newest set of small tits, because I guess she figures that her tits have got her about as far as they can and it’s time to get rid of the freakshow fantasy she’s been inspiring because shit causes back pains and just accept the fact that she’s done really well for someone with no skills other than having no shame and no fear of the scalpel.

Her new product is clothing for horses, because I guess she’s trying to class up her image or maybe it’s just a retaliation to not being allowed in any of the equestrian clubs because she didn’t meet the dress code and is starting up her own for the other trash with enough money from being whores and a dream of wanting to be a professional horseback rider and up until recently were forced to practice on men, many men on their rise to the top because she couldn’t afford a horse of her own or some shit. Maybe she just sees the opening in the market that sluts can’t slut up their horses like they were grown up Barbie Dolls and all the other horse products out there are traditional, boring and stuffy. She’s innovating, trendsetting and keeping it classy by taking a classy thing and bringing it down to the stripclub level and it’s all pretty entertaining because I heard she did it because horse dick is the only dick that touches the walls of her huge vagina when they fuck and it’s her way of guaranteeing cock as she ages and no one wants anything to do with her since horses are way less judgmental about fucking a herpes outbreak.

On a side note, it looks like her horse has colored contacts in and that freaks me the fuck out.

Posted in:Horse Cock|Jordan|Katie Price

2008

05

Aug

Jordan’s Down Blouse Tits of the Day

I know that face all too well, it’s the sign that the roofies haven’t kicked in as strong as you wanted the to and you know you only have a few minutes to throw the slut over the club’s toilet and give it to her proper before she comes to her senses and starts to fight back, leaving you with a broken nose, a possible ciminal record, embarassment in front of all the clubgoers who witness the scene and judge you but even worse, a bad case of blue balls.

Either way, Jordan was out with her fake tits the other day and I figured it’s only right to post them since she’s put so much time, energy and money into them, it’s like they are her own kind of national momument only instead of being a country, she’s just a whore and her tits are really the only reason she’s famous and they aren’t even anything special they are just more like something you look at and wonder what went wrong in her life to make her put that much importance on something so stupid.

Posted in:Jordan|Katie Price|Tits