These Lindsay Lohan bathing suit pictures…is all I’ve ever fucking needed…

They are everything I’ve ever been looking for…

I couldn’t have dreamt of a better way to spend today….or everyday…this is the end all, be all of humanity…

Lohan, in a white, lace, thong looking bathing suit, bloated, pregnant, or fat….

There’s just so much going on in this…I can’t even process it…I just stare…and love every second of it..

Lohan is the meaning of life…even when she’s dead on the inside…

Lohan is sent from heaven….even though she looks like she’s destined for heaven when her heart stops…not that I believe in that shit…

Lohan is connected to my soul…and I hope she’s getting my telepathic messages of love…

Because I appreciate this perfection….

I need this perfection…

She’s all that matters…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

The fact that Lindsay Lohan was at one point a huge celebrity….

Not that she ever really did that many movies to warrant her as a huge celebrity…

But like a Kardashian, she was famous for the tabloids…and the whole thing was relatively uninteresting, but people loved it…

Just another child star, sold by her family to the entertainment industry, who got famous and self destructive, occasional lesbian, occasional cum rag, occasional weirdo in the corner of the bar talking to herself, because like so many redheads before her, she’s fucking crazy…

Boring, but throughout it all, from anorexia to chubby coke bloat, she had this fun fake tits, that I was a fan of and even friended on facebook…

But now…she’s an instagram model…

No one in the world wants anything to do with her….but shitty products will pay her 5,000 dollars a product plug…pretty sad, but not as sad as premature death, that would have possibly made her story more dramatic and inclined to become an oscar winning movie, but now is just a massive fucking fail…but at least Amanda Seyfried is there to replace her…

Either way, here’s some of her instagram, sugar baby, hustle, because she is still Lohan…a joke who I think will have the last laugh…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

Here is a little Lindsay Lohan intermission to remind all of you motherfuckers that even the most battered, beat-up, broken down, corpse of a person who was once a real celebrity but who is now a shell of what they were, resorting to Instagram to make a couple of dollars to fund their lavish lifestyle they can’t afford to fund, thanks to being an idiot and self destructing instead of maximizing that shit, investing in fucking internet things when she had the money, becoming a billionaire crackhead, instead the crackhead hooker to billionaires…

All this to say, with the right filter, she’s alright at the in bed, possibly naked, making you want to climb behind her in the “Ray Jay / Kim K” monkey mount….but maybe I’m just reading into it too much because I think Lohan, crackhead, half dead zombie, broken down girl, is magical…partially that she’s still alive, and because she represents Hollywood’s glory days, and by glory days I mean when Hollywood started turning from independent actor based movies, to commercial shit designed to fill seats…

I’d do her…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

We all know that Lindsay Lohan looks like shit and that the only market that cares about her is the Arab Market, which I guess she’s converting to, because oil money can finance her life, and arab money love celebrity hookers, and Paris Hilton, to shit on in their palaces in Dubai, at least that’s what an instagram model who was flown to Dubai a few times told me when I asked if the rumors were true…

Girls with no self respect and a love for fancy things fit in perfectly in places where men pay them to do dity fucking things….not to say all Arab dudes shit on girls, just to say if you’re bankrolling Lohan, or interested in having her around, you might as well shit on her….just because you can….she’s Lindsay Lohan, ex Hollywood star who did 5 or less movies…who people only care about for the novelty…

She’s done, expired, over…and as much as I want to believe she has a comeback tour in her, you know an Oscar win,she’s too fucking crazy to pull it off.

Fuck Lohan, she’s the worst and her tits, the one thing I believed in in this cold dark world are done, look like shit, and I guess a reminder that all good things come to an end…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

It was Lindsay Lohan’s birthday…and despite being 29, not quite 30, her face turned 60..

Here she is blowing out candles…to celebrate that she’s still alive, when everyone just assume she’d be dead thanks to all the drugs and tantrums her entitled spoiled ass head….and I guess they were only half right…because she may still be alive, but her career isn’t…

But I still like her and because I’m considerate, I just keep on trying to keep her alive in your memory, even if she’s an unappreciative cunt that doesn’t fucking matter, despite the fact that she thinks she does…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF HER RUGGED FACE CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

Today is Lindsay Lohan’s 29th birthday….which means she’s just 10 years away from looking her face’s age…

I know that this news isn’t really news to anyone…but maybe me…because I still think Lindsay Lohan is great, even if she pretty much fell off 11 years ago when she turned 18…

She really only had a year or two of relevance, that she managed to drag out into close to a decade, all without ever doing a job, so that’s a testament of being famous before the internet replaced useless actors with useless social media stars like the Kardashians, I mean they are like a Turkish Army, strength in numbers, a little ginger can’t compete with for airtime, only they are Armenian…and not Turkish, in fact they hate the Turks due to the genocide….not that it has anything to do with Lohan…

But for a reference point, Mean Girls came out in 2004..and Mean Girls is the only movie that counts…and the only amazing thing, other than her inability to take her tabloid fodder to the bank and get richer leveraging it like these other idiots, like how could a bitch fuck that up….it’s not that she’s probably a hooker to ruch guys now because there is no way she still has money….the amazing thing is that she’s made it to 29…I was convinced there would have been a suicide or overdose along the way…you know because she’s crazy…

That said, she’s the crazy I love…because she’s Lohan and without Lohan there would be no DrunkenStepfather…since I’d have no reason to live…

Here’s a Youtube Video I made ins 2006 leaving a voicemail on her inbox…celebrating her birthday….hoping I’d get arrested as a stalker because I needed the press….

Here are some pics of her…remembering the good days

TO see her partying with some male model in Capri CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

Lindsay Lohan is in Italy…and I guess the paparazzi cared enough to get what I like to think of as an Old School style paparazzi pic, the one of the past, when privacy was actually invaded, stalking actually took place, as celebrities would be terrorized to get that bikini pic from there vacation…you know hired helicopters, zoom lenses…some spy shit..

It was an era before social media, self produced content, where talent wasn’t found based on followers you had because of ass pics…but rather because you sucked a producer’s dick…

I don’t care if Lohan staged this, I don’t think she did, so I’ll just pretend this is the glory days, watching Lohan change while she doesn’t know she[s being watched, the way it was meant to be…

But she’s broke, probably a hooker now, so to think this is honest…is probably just wishful thinking, but sometimes, wishful thinking is all we need…

TO SEE HER CLEAVAGE WHILE LOOKING LIKE HER BEAT UP MOM CLICK HERE

TO SEE HER ON A BOAT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

If I was a brand, I would use Lindsay Lohan for all my campaigns, and not just because I am obsessed with Lindsay Lohan and everything she represents…from broken little child star whored out by her evil parents, to an addict and crazy person, who was capable of being a crazy person, because she’s rich as fuck…or was rich as fuck…not to mention, she’s got rockin’ tits…

I would use her as my model, because she’s probably terribly affordable for the reach she still has, because she’s Lindsay Lohan…a star for life…and more importantly…my favorite person who I want to get herpes from…by testing her vagina out like I was a driving test examiner…and she was Lindsay Lohan’s vagina…

Either way…my kind of broken down model I want to ride my fave..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

I assume LIndsay Lohan is getting paid to promote something called Cryotherapy, which is some ridiculous locking yourself in chamber to help who the fuck cares…

But I like to think LIndsay Lohan is getting treatment for her genital warts, that have spread to her entire body, those freckles aren’t freckeles….because I know people who have warts and they get cryotherapy to remove those wards…and Lohan seems like someone with the sexual history where warts are the least of her concern….but coupled with a weak immune system due to other ailments…shit takes the fuck over that you gotta take a cryotherapy bath…

I guess, I just like thinking about Lohan…I will not admit or believe that she’s done, expired or over. The comeback tour will happen….just after she gets rid of these damn warts…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW