So these pictures from some Max Magazine hit today and they are of Heidi Klum, not lookin’ like Heidi Klum with some kind of sheer sheet artistically covering her goods, which was probably done intentionally because who knows what damage Seal and his babies have done to her box, if shit looks anything like his face, I don’t care how hot a bitch is, that shit better stay under wraps, like an Orthodox Jewish couple trying to make babies through the sheet, so dude doesn’t have to make any contact with the bitch, but still gets to fuck her because fuckin’ her is what makes them babies to build their own army to take over the world. If that shit was a movie, it’d be called Bad News Jews.

I was always so disappointed every time I’d get with a hot girl who had a perfect body only to find out that her vagina either looked like a pinkish brown bowl of cottage cheese or smelled like a fuckin’ sewer. I am sure I wasn’t as disappointed as they were when they found out that my penis looked more like a vagina that their vagina did, because let’s face it, girls like huge cock and not over-sized clits, unless they are lesbians/rape victims, in which case they don’t like any cock, and I never really minded fucking a bowl of cottage cheese, as long as it wasn’t too cold…because I have no real standards.

Either way, here are those Klum magazine pics:

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Magazine|Naked|Unsorted