I was drunk on fucking life 10 years ago….which is unfortunate….cuz I’ve been dealing with a hangover….

The good news is that you don’t think I’m famous, but Playboy thinks I’m a celebrity …..and Playboy is more important a judge than you.

Click This Link To See MY BRACKET

I’m going to the top asshole.

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I realize it isn’t morning…but when you’re hungover….it is….I just saw them loading a body into the back of a van…it was a body bag so I don’t know if it was a hot chick, or an old man. but I do know it wasn’t me….even if it feels like it coulda been so that’s a pretty decent start to the day even though I am dying….boom

Here’s some links, while I regain my composure….not that I ever do…

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The problem with being a drunk, other than pretty much destroying your body and your life, is that you can’t remember the simple things in life like wiping your ass properly…..putting on a condom…..or even important things you want to tell people you’ve lost touch with to make ammends before you die….or more importantly jokes I want to write on Facebook or Twitter because that’s where my social life lives….but the pros far outweigh the cons….that’s why I always give other drunks spare change, cuz I know we are on the same page….even though I am pretty sure I’m actually dead and this is the horrible after life…but that could just be the booze talking…

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Sometimes you just need to finger a girl who makes you feel like you need to amputate your finger in order to really appreciate the good times. You know in order to really feel alive…

Here’s some morning links…

Fuck Daylight Savings Time

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I am in an international women’s day hangover…no more international women for me….I hardly slept…I spent the majority of the night getting re-acquainted with my vagina….hand mirror and squats and all….cuz I don’t ever want to be one of those girls who hates her vagina….

As the least respected female blogger on the internet….International Women’s day really speaks to me….I am a true lover of women, just trying to celebrate women and their parts that make them women, only to be hated by women, really hurts….

That’s why I drink

Here are some links….

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I’ve been sick all week with what some would call a flu…but that I call AIDS….because I know the quality pussy I stick my dick in unprotected…at least the quality I was sticking my dick in the last three or four months and that isn’t very high…

I’m talking girls who don’t know what fucking day it is, let alone who they actually are as a person, or enough common sense to put a condom on a stranger they met off the fucking internet cuz they read his site since 2005….cuz imagine who else they did that too….and now I’m paying for it….

Remember – all girls are trash….even the seemingly normal ones, the seemingly sweet ones, the seemingly nice ones….they are fucking nuts, out for themselves, liars and cheats, dirty fucking cunts, but maybe I’m just bitter cuz of the whole contracting AIDS thing….cuz some people like making you suffer with them….

And that’s not to say girls aren’t good for fucking, that’s just to say, you should always leave it at just fucking, even if it makes for great comedy.

Happy International Women’s Day a day late.

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I hate you, you’re the fucking worst…now be my friend on FACEBOOK ….

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I peaked in 2006.

Here are some links.

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I was hanging with ghetto trash backstage at the Steve Aoki show, cuz I’ve been friends with Aoki for half a decade and when he comes into town he lets me drink his booze and finger his groupie fans that he wants nothing to do with….

I am a bottom feeder….I take table scraps from anyone…whether it is damaged wives or other people’s groupies…I will eat out anything you don’t want…

I just don’t want to touch my own groupies, yes I have groupies, I’m a genius all genius’ have groupies, cuz anyone who reads this site has proven to be totally fucking unstable freak and meeting girls off the internet has proven to be something that always ends in “i knew better than this”….

Here’s the video…I prefered it when they were doing the Ma Carina….

Here’s some morning links you cocksucker for thinking I don’t have groupies…

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I decided to go mainstream. I’m going to go Hollywood. I figure if you can’t beat them join them….and the pussy that hollywood people get is substantial and plentiful…I’m tired of all the bottom feeding…you heard it here first….I’m gonna be the next Britney Spears motherfukcer….the only thing between me and that fame….is my constant naps….fuck you sleep apnea you’ve ruined my hopes and dreams…oh and my no talent….

We take what we can get now here’s the morning links…

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