Today’s hangover…is bad….when you wake up from the sound of your dehydrated, alcohol poisoned, heart pounding in your neck….its one of those moments where you debate calling all your loved ones and saying goodbye when you can, you know apologizing for all you did wrong, and all you feel guilty about, before realizing you love no one and never feel guilty cuz you have no fucking soul.

Here are the morning links…while I drink some water…..

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I’ve been noticing more and more moms with hot asses. Does that mean my biological clock is ticking?

Are my balls asking me to knock up a bitch before they dry up and fall off?

Or maybe I just like all ass attached to a vagina…

So many questions – so early in the morning.

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I approve of this message.

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK EVEN IF YOU DON’T LIKE US

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I don’t know what defines morning. Is it that time you wake up and start your day, or is it when the sun rises, because I’m still up and drinking from last night, I’m on a bender people, and I won’t be crashing out for the next 4-5 hours…..meaning it’s still fucking night to me….but I’m no scientist, I’m just a drunk who likes girls with hot asses.

Here’s some morning links…

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Fuck the weekened and the boat it rode in on….Everyday is fucking summer vacation for me, you suckers…So when you all write “Happy Monday” or “Monday Morning Blues”, you know your idiotic Garfield poster that says “Monday’s Aren’t Lasagna” bullshit….all over facebook…..It’s still weekend for me…

It is called leeching off a fat lonely wife and wasting your time with a stupid fucking blog that is the best thing to happen to the internet, but the internet just doesn’t know it yet….

I’m like a real housewife, the ghetto, project, one room basement apartment, version.

I’ve been drinking for days, trying to fuck 20 year old sluts in crotch high skirts and I intend on continuing that for the rest of the week….maybe even the year…or the rest of my life….whichever comes first…

cuz hangovers don’t fucking exist….we just keep on trucking….

Fuck you and your office job. You conformist hack. I’m sure your dad is proud you’re gonna live the same shitty life he did. Sucker.

Here are some links….

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There is nothing I hate more than hearing old married women whining in the coffee shop….but then there is nothing I like more than hot young girls in leggings ordering their morning coffee at the coffee shop. It’s hard out there for a pervert.

Here are some links….

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The best thing about meeting a girl in white pants, is knowing she’s not on her period.

Here is the Morning Hangover Dump…

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I have a stalker….which is nice….it shows appreciation for me…it makes me feel relevant….like I exist…like I matter… .even if it is probably a man…who wants me dead….even if it’s just someone playing a joke on me….I pretend it is a hot chick willing to save me fromt this hell…

Notes have left on my door that read “I know who you are”….and “I want to be inside you like you are inside me”….and the paranoid side of me wants to lock myself in a basement with a shotgun….but the romantic side of me is thinking…this could be real love….even if I end up skinned and butchered in a dumpster…..maybe I’m just happy that for once….I’m not the stalker….

Here are some morning links while I go hide.

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Sometimes I go to sleep at 9 pm like a teenage girl before a big exam or some shit….and sleep for 14 hours…..unfortunately that’s what happened to me last night. I’m old and hard living is catching up to me….but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to go to bed at 9 pm with a teenage girl….that’s gonna be a need and want far after I die, have a stroke….I want shit on my fucking tombstone….”liked the idea of fucking barely legal bitches in school girl outfits”….true fucking story.

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St Patrick’s Day is the one weekend I don’t drink and I always drink….because I like being the loud, hated, overly drunk guy, and seeing people more loud, hated and overly drunk ruins drinking for me…and I can’t allow for that…so I go into lock down. Unlike these suburbanite, 9 to 5er fat chicks gone wild, I can drink every night…and I will now that St Patrick’s is over.

Here are the morning links….

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