I just spent the last hour watching titties bounce when girls jog. I’m spent. To be so healthy and active is good for them, but to seduce me with their breasts….and often times tight little asses is substantially better….

Here are some morning links that may or may not be as great as smoking a cigar, hungover as shit, possibly still drunk, eating a bag of chips while drinking a beer as bitches run by you at 8 in the morning…but it’s close enough.

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So I just saw a dumpy woman get out of her Bentley and I though to myself how shitty it must be to be the guy who bought her that, because if you are going to spend 100k or more on a car, it might as well be for a hot as fuck, younger, tighter girl…not some old washed up bag you married and knocked up when you were young and poor and who you feel you owe something to….unless she knows her place and lets you fuck younger girls ….justifying her gold digging as love cuz she’s in it for the long haul….and the good life

Who cares. These aren’t problems I have to deal with. I just see them and laugh at how unimportant their self importance is.

Here are some morning links……

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I survived last nights lap dances and fingering girls who make me question whether I should amputate my finger or just sit here and enjoy the lingering smell I am unable to wash off no matter how much, soap, bleach vinegar I use…..Good times. Next time I video!

Here’s some links….

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It was my birthday party and I felt that there was a lack of outpouring from the general public. It wasn’t annonced in the news, or newspapers, maybe Mike Wallace death overshadowed my importance, or maybe I’m just not important….but I am an alcoholic and that makes it all easy to accept….because the whole long weekend was a blur that I am glad I survived…..unfortunately…the hooker I had wasn’t so lucky.

I’d like to dedicate this year to 40+ porn and the chicks who make it possible….even though it shouldn’t exist…..

Here’s some links…

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Just cuz my name is Jesus doesn’t mean I am a jew. Although, I am pretty sure I am the chosen one, and you are my followers, that we are on the verge of a religious and spiritual revelation…..a very ghetto, poor, disgusting, perverted, demented religion….but I’ve been drinking all morning and could be wrong….

Time to go hide easter eggs in my obese wife’s ass….hopefully it’ll put her in diabetic shock….cuz that’s the only way she can make me cum.

Here’s some morning links…

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If I die….I want you all to come to my funeral. I want you to write lovely messages about how you miss me on my FACEBOOK ….I want a benefit concert…I want someone to decide I was a genius and publish all my works…..I’m not saying I’m dying today, even though I feel like it, I am just saying eventually I will, the booze, the seedy women, the drugs….it will catch up to me, and I’m just asking you as a friend, I don’t know…to be part of it…..

Here’s some morning hangover links to get you in the mood, cuz I’m not dead yet motherfuckers….

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I’m a fucking superhero and I have the bus loads of virgin, awkward, role playing game, Second Life, World of War Craft, living in their mom’s basement, unable to talk to girls cuz they are too busy popping their pimples and masturbating to the cutouts of various celebs in shitty sci/fi movies they are obsessed with enough to make life size replicas of them out of semen when not to busy having war battles in the park…..fans to prove it.

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I feel like I still look 16 when next to 16 year olds even though they are thinking “why is that old guy staring at our tits, let’s go tell our teacher there’s a creep hiding in the girls locker room”….cock teasing bitches come in all ages.

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Seeing a father and daughter bond is a beautiful thing, especially when that bonding involves a dad loaded up on cases of beer bottles as his 6 year daughter carrying two 6 packs, cuz the mother is probably out hooking, to return for money to buy more beer, at 7 in the morning, on her way to school, cuz I know she’s gonna grow up to be a whore like her mother, who likes getting abused by men cuz that’s all she knows, already so helpful in her ghetto existence…

Here are the morning links…

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Today’s hangover…is bad….when you wake up from the sound of your dehydrated, alcohol poisoned, heart pounding in your neck….its one of those moments where you debate calling all your loved ones and saying goodbye when you can, you know apologizing for all you did wrong, and all you feel guilty about, before realizing you love no one and never feel guilty cuz you have no fucking soul.

Here are the morning links…while I drink some water…..

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LIKE US ON FACEBOOK
EVEN IF YOU DON’T LIKE US

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