Oh god. I lived through this weekend. I’d say that was a good start to the week…but I am pretty sure part of me died…probably a vital organ…cuz I feel like death….and like everyone who feels like they should be in the hospital getting saved…I’ve decided to update a blog no one reads…life’s about priorities people.

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I decided I am going to do a documentary of me having dinner with every single reader of this site around the world. I figure it’ll take about a day to shoot.

Here are some morning links to master-bake to.

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With every hangover comes a dump….sometimes that dump is a beautiful thing that gets all the shit you’ve been shoving down your throat out of you….other times it is a horrible painful thing…..The hangover dump is different things to different people…and here is mine for you to get your hands in and click on….

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I have this move that gets me off when I am in need of female attention cuz my wife isn’t cutting it and because my social skills don’t allow me to seduce the kind of girls I want…..forcing me to go out and grab it…without actually going out and grabbing it cuz that shit always ends in rape and rape always ends in murder….and murder always ends up in jail….and jail always ends in rape….and sometimes murder….it’s the viscious circle of rape.

So instead….I go into a public place…find my target….usually a hot 18 year old….identify where here had is….move in….look her in the eye passionately…while hyponotizing her with my loving gaze….I place my penis, usually clothed, on their hand and smile….Sometimes the scream, sometimes they squeeze, all the time it is often…until today…when the cunt, who clearly watches too many movies and spends too much time on the internet desensitized….decided to be a comedian and say “where is it, i feel nothing, are you a woman”…..and if that wasn’t worse enough….she called over her friends and strangers and was like “this guy tried to put his dick in my hand and has no dick”….all while holding my dick….

I love my life….

Here some morning links.

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I have been hearing stories like that kids are having sex as early as 8 or 9 years old now….with each other…thanks to porn….for the last long time…but I never really believed it…

Sure in the 70s and 80s, people were fucking at 13 or 14, but the majority of chicks, the mainstream weren’t even sucking dick unless you made bitch your gf…..

Now their having rim job parties at 15 according to Oprah….gangbangs and good times….

But I never saw it first hand…I couldn’t figure out where it goes down…until yesterday, I was in the park walking my dog and behind a fucking cluster of bushes was 2 teen couples fully banging….penetration…and it wasn’t hot…it was just awkward and pretty much out in the open….like it didn’t matter…..

I didn’t stick around to get arrested, but figured I’d relay the info to you perverts who are less paranoid…..so if you want to find out where teens go to fuck, go to the park…school girls seem to slip their panties to the side there and mount their guy friends there.

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If you’re wondering why I am taking so long to get started today – it is cuz I was sleeping – not because I was at the Urban Outfitters is the New Gap – Coachella concert with everyone else in the hipster, celeb, mainstream community….but because I was drinking with gutter sluts until 6 am discussing how their vaginas changed from the age of 14 until now….using my tongue as a laser pointer….it was more fun and rewarding than updating a blog for a bunch of unappreciative assholes….

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