I always laugh at Nina Agdal because she looks like she’s semi retarded, because she may be semi retarded and apparently, at least based on Brooklyn Decker, Sports Illustrated likes that look, otherwise they wouldn’t be pushing Nina as aggressively as they do….but to every retard head is a vagina, a usually a body, that sometimes makes you see past what most would consider a flaw…to focus on what is important, and that is the rest of her…and every once in a while, the rest of her, all half naked and shit, looks fucking ripped, hot and ready to be mounted in a way that makes all of us wish she was less of a retard head and more of a retard, all institutionalized, so that we could get a job working as her orderly changing her diaper, with out mouths…..

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Nina Agdal’s PR team is on hyperdrive right now. They know SI is making the cover decision and they know that they need to get as much press as possible so that they chose Nina…she’s up against all the overrated SI models….as well as new girls like Emily Ratajkowski, who I assume is actually going to get the cover, but that doesn’t mean that the Agdal team isn’t going to put up a fight…book campaigns, do paparazzi, pics, come up with a scandal…it’s fucking now or never…motherfuckers…and here she is bikini modelling…cuz retard head or not, she’s still half naked…

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I am really not a Nina Agdal fan at all. I think she’s overrated, and I think her face usually looks like she’s a retarded person, begging for money for her retard home at the mall…and I don’t think her ass is as good as a bikini models ass should be…and I the rest of her is alright…but still nothing worth celebrating the way Sports Illustrated celebrates her because I assume Sports Illustrated bought her from some human trafficker in whatever country she’s from and own her and that’s why they promote her so much….

That said, these pics she posted of her on her instagram with some football paint on her face, even though she’s clothed, is some of her better work in hiding the retard face, and I felt the need to share it with you….

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I am convinced that not only does Nina Agdal still smell like Adam Levine’s sperm that he accidentally spilled on her when taking a break from his fiancé who is some other model….

I am also convinced that she is a full retard who happened to luck out in the body department because everyone has something to offer…even full retards in the home…whether it is sex they can’t tell on you for…or cheap labor…or a hot body…or even a drooly mouth to stick your dick in…while they play with rocks in the corner…

I’m hoping this new possibly gay dude, who is possibly her boyfriend or handler has a lot of money, because that SI caliber swimsuit model body she’s been milking…is gone the route of other SI girls…like Kate Upton because SI has no fucking taste and choose the worst girls ever…as Nina Agdal’s body is hardly as hot as it was, not that it’s getting all fat thighed and dumpy assed and shit…because I guess she assumes that’s what people want…

Bitch needs to get her squats on!

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When I look at Nina Agdal, all I smell is Adam Levine’s left overs he forgot on the counter at one of his houses he hasn’t been in in the last 6 months…only to come back to and say “oh shit, remember when I ate that shit, it wasn’t good then, and it’s not good now that it’s rotten on my counter, stinking up my house, where’s the fucking Filipino maid, why did we allow this to happen”…but then again, I could just be smelling my own ass, I’m not one for Hygiene…

But whatever the smell is, this retard faced awesome body ho, who prefers to be called a bikini model, does have a rocking’ body, and here it is behind the mother fuckin’ scenes…

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I usually laugh at Nina Agdal and her bikini modelling body because she has a weird shaped head, something you perverts probably don’t notice, because you’re too busy looking at her photoshopped vagina /tits…

I make genius jokes that if they were said by a celebrity, you would all laugh at, but because they are written by me, you don’t even notice…

You know comparing her to the retarded kid who used to work at the pharmacy I worked at…who got paid at a discount because it was a work program and he was only 1/2 human according to the system…saying since magazine sales are down SI had to get creative and find free talent…

Well in their marketing of her, because she may be this year’s cover girl, she’s been lent out to other companies, like Calvin Klein Underwear…where they managed to make her head look less full of water…but her ass…looks like it’s being sucked into her asshole…in some really fucking weird angle…unless this is what her booty actually looks like, which may not turn you off, or make you not want her to shit in your face…but that is not necessarily the hottest shit ever…at least not what I’d expect from a bikini model cover girl…but I guess since Kate Upton ate and shat out that title…all credibility is thrown out….

Here is her modelling she probably made a lot of money doing…

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I predict that Sports Illustrated has invested enough time and energy into Nina Agdal that she is going to be the SI Cover Girl for this year’s swimsuit…it’s like her retarded looking water head Make a Wish Foundation shit will finally come true, unless of course Emily Ratajskowski….

You know a better, bustier, tighter bodied girl comes along…but this Nina is still doing the promo tour..hustling…dating A-listers…famewhoring and insta-whoring as hard as she can and her handicapped, looks like she likes playing with rocks and/or feces while rocking’ back and forth look, is starting to be okay for me…because I guess since this is my site, it’s all about what I think of a bitch and not what the rest of the world thinks of a bitch…and I guess the problem with Nina Agdal is that she forces me to side with Adam Levine and say she’s second rate…not quite good enough…but still worth penetrating…

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If you’re wondering what Nina Agdal’s vagina smells like, it’s remnants of Adam Levine, because like any groupie opportunist slut, trying to validate her success with the rockstar, popstar, tv star, rich kid from LA she puts inside it, she can’t go wash his stale semen out of her, because she doesn’t want to forget that it happened, or be forced to admit that it wasn’t as special as she wants to believe it was, and that she was just vagina he was plowing through on his quest to more vagina to plow through…and that’s probably why they’ve cropped out the her waist down…shit’s all fucking rancid and growing moss and shit…oh well…at least we can stare at her semi retarded looking face…and I know the word retard is offensive because your cousin is a retard, but you need to get over that and let us use the derogatory words we grew up on in peace.

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